Hello everyone,
As some of you may know, I’m the music and travel writer here at FemaleFirst, but as well as keeping you entertained with mY wonderful stories, I can’t seem to put a huge smile on my own face, as I am sick of tired of feeling ‘fat.
Now I know that at 11 stone 12 I shouldn’t feel ‘obese, because I’m not… but the problem is, I have quite big *ahem* boobs, and I’ve always blamed them for hoiking up my weight on the bathroom scales.
So, I’m a size 14, which I believe is about average for most women in the UK, but in the mirror, I still see that ‘dancer’s body’ I had before I went to University and when I just have a bedroom lamp on and look in the mirror at myself in my underwear, I think ‘ah it could be worse.’
However, a few weeks ago I went to Download Festival to cover it for the site, and whilst I was interviewing one of the bands (no naming and shaming here) we got onto the subject of weight, and I was saying how I wanted to lose a bit… and the guy said to me; “You’re not fat, you’re just big boned.â€Â
Well I wanted to die… because hearing that is almost like when you’re fella says; “it’s not you it’s me.†I wanted to run away and bawl my eyes out whilst eating a fudge cake.
That’s my problem you see, I’m a comfort eater, and I eat when I’m bored too, and I also eat crap when I’m complacent with my life… oh and I can’t cook. Okay, so I know not being able to cook is a bit of a shoddy excuse… but my weight has gradually crept up from around 9 stone to 12 stone 4lbs whilst I was doing my degree, and when I broke up with my boyfriend last year I seemed to balloon even more.
Whilst I’ve been going to my local gym since January, I’ve only managed to go from that 12 st 4lbs to 11st 12lbs, in the seven months I’ve been going… that’s probably due to the fact that my housemate and I regularly stop off for a pub tea on the way home. Oops!
But now I’ve finally realised it’s time to get off my arse and do something about it… I can’t cry in the mirror if I’m not working at losing weight can I? I’ve not being doing myself any favours over the past four years, and as I result I hate the way I look, I hate looking at magazines and wondering if I cold ever wear a dress like that, or be snapped in a bikini… and what’s more, when they print pictures of ‘celebs looking ‘fat’’ I just liken their bodies to mine and think their writers are calling me fat too.
It’s a vicious circle, but one I’m determined to break, so, as of today, Wednesday 5th August, I’m joining Slimming World. I’ve heard great things about it, and you can still eat and lose weight… which seems a good idea to me! My first class is in Runcorn tonight with a lady called Julie… so wish me luck and I’ll keep you updated.
Ruth x
