Stephen Gately hasn’t been dead a week yet, but already people are huffing and puffing over the fact that his death appeared somewhat suspicious, and after Jan Moir seems to have angered half of Ireland with her article in The Daily Mail, it would be interesting to know what you think.
Twitter seems to be alive with people condemning Jan Moir’s article in The Daily Mail, as she writes; “All the official reports point to a natural death, with no suspicious circumstances. The Gately family are – perhaps understandably – keen to register their boy’s demise on the national consciousness as nothing more than a tragic accident.â€Â
The thing is, why is it any of our business what went on during that night, we can make assumptions until the cows come home if we like, but the only people who really know what happened that night are Georgi Dochev and Andrew Cowles.
Whilst we can poke the finger at the fact that Stephen and Andrew brought a man back to their apartment, would we have been writing about the news had Stephen still been alive? Probably not, so I don’t see how this could factor into the equation at all.
After The Sun reported that Georgi’s police statement said; â€ÂOnce at the residence, they were talking and they became intimate, until 5.30am.†it would appear that the guys had come home, carried on drinking and had a good time.
Had this been a same sex ‘threesome’ would we have still been ‘shocked’? I hope not, because this is the 21st century, and if we can’t handle gay threesomes, then I am pretty sure blokes should stop fantasising about sex with two women, because isn’t that still having a ‘gay’ encounter? Or do we look over that fact?
I think the problem here is that Jan Moir used phrases such as “And I think if we are going to be honest, we would have to admit that the circumstances surrounding his death are more than a little sleazy.†and “It is not disrespectful to assume that a game of canasta with 25-year-old Georgi Dochev was not what was on the cards.â€Â
Yet, had Jan written this article about Katie Price and her new boyfriend Alex Reid bringing another man or woman back home with then after a night out, would we have all had a laugh at Katie’s expense and slapped it across the papers the next day?
The main problem here is the way in which Jan Moir has put her opinion across, after all, we are entitled to share our opinion are we not? Good or bad, everyone has the right to say what they think. Perhaps a Daily Mail journalist should think twice before branding the dead popstar the “Posh Spice of Boyzone, a popular but largely decorous addition.†or describing him as “the group’s co-lead singer, even though he could barely carry a tune in a Louis Vuitton trunk.â€Â
Yet, the fact that Jan points out that it does seem odd that Stephen – an otherwise healthy young man – died whilst asleep on the sofa, is something I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve found it hard to get my head around.
I mean, I just can’t believe that someone so young, could just die, just like that. And whilst we can ramble on and on about the presence of another man, the smoking of cannabis and the fact that *shock horror* he was gay; the family and the coroner have said that Stephen died of natural causes, and so we should respect his memory and let it rest. Right?
The point here is, whatever Stephen had been doing that night, it appeared to be consensual, and it is not for us to assume what went on behind closed doors, whilst we would all wish to know the truth, the family want us to believe that Stephen died from ‘natural causes’ and out of respect, shouldn’t we abide by that, regardless of what we might think?
Please share your opinions with me, I am keen to hear what you think of the Jan Moir article and whether or not you believe there to be more to the Stephen Gately story that meets the eye?
pulmonary oedema can be caused by choking on your vomited. so perhaps he had too much to drink (like we all do sometimes, passed out, choked on his vomit and died.
Statements released by his partner tell the facts. The man was known to Stephen and Andrew and stayed in the spare room.
Selling her morals and empathy to sell papers. That says enough.
Ruth, I think when your rambings are so ill-informed you should really keep them to yourself. It is not for you to ‘get your head around’ anything. The coronor has spoken and there was nothing sinister or shady that played a part in his death. I was very uncomforatble with your article as well as Moir’s- which is downright dispicable.
It is very hard to argue against ignorance.
I wonder if it was a hetrosexual couple who brought a friend home would people be wondering what they got up too or even if it was 3 girls?
Can they not have a friend home without people assuming the worst?
I liked stephen, and when we found out he was gay my young children were horrified that he was still my favourite boyzone guy! I used him to teach my kids that it was ok to like gay people ( sorry if |I phrased this badly – they were very young) and that they cant help being gay etc etc. They learnt not to be homophobic because of Stephen and because of that I will always have a soft spot for him.
He appeared to be a lovely chap in all respects and I am horrified that people can write such horrid things about him or anyone fo rthat matter – what about his poor mother?
Shame on Jan Moir
RIP Stephen – you will be missed
moir is a very sad leacherous excuse for a journalist her pen is poisoned, her heart like a lifeless pillow. I read her crappy piece and it made me angry, if she were anywhere near me now id become like her and spit in her fat smug face.
At least show some respect for this mans family if nothing else you vile pig. does journalism have no limits these days.
im a hetrosexual man of turkish origin. You dont have to be gay to be upset, but if i were gay it would cut me like a knife to read such hateful tripe. But it is the mail and the mail is hate, on many a subject.
the whole problem with this article regardless of what stephen,his partner or friend indulged in (as consentual adults i may add) is that it was hurtful and disrespectful to surviving family members and friends.Didnt the journalist think his bereft family members and friends have had enough to be dealing with.Yes maybe there was extra curricular activities between the three men so what! That fact is not going bring Stephan back to his family and frankly irelevant.A poorly written artcle in poor taste which showed complete disregard for those grieving
Moir’s opinion is not relevant in this case because, this is not some subject to debate or questionate.
It has been reported that had a lunge disasea and had a natural death.
We should always respect those that today are not with us.
Moi’rs has not etics.
This morning Brighton’s Nikki Bayley (@nikkib on Twitter) made one of the first complaints in the country about the Daily Mail’s vile columnist Jan Moir and here cowardly homophobic attack on Stephen Gately. Here’s the Press Complaints Commission’s response http://tiny.cc/aPipa
(this is directed at Jan Moir and her apologists)
well – I guess until you’ve actually had the experience of having a young healthy friend unexpectedly literally drop dead in totally unsuspicious circumstances – like I have* – then you won’t ever understand that otherwise seemingly healthy people can and do just die. I mean either that or you could -oh I don’t know, do what other many journalists manage to do and do some actual bloody proper research before typing away at the computer. But that would only get in the way of a good bit of sneering hate-filled gossipy innuendo – and that’s what your average Daily Mail reader is really after, isn’t it?
And the follow up statement she came out with only makes things worse. Not a shred of an apology – but a bleating that’s she’s been victimised by a ‘well orchestrated internet campaign’… She is totally and completely without shame.
*Yes I had a friend who died while he was in the middle of playing a game of football. It came as a great shock to all his family and friends. Oddly enough it never occurred to me to lay blame on his heterosexual lifestyle for his death -nor to proclaim that people shouldn’t ever play football because it is a killer.
i think she is not a very nice person she is just get pay the say not very nice thing about steve. the newspaper never say any thing nice about people that how they sell there papers
Its possible that she wrote what many were thinking, but obviously, even to a small child, in Death it IS disrespectful. Sometimes we all have to button it. I am straight so will not understand fully gay relationships, also I dont understand football so I don’t comment on that
why cant people just let the poor boy rest in peace, i do not believe for one min that he died just because he was gay thats total rubbish and totally homaphobic to think that. Tragically lots of people young and old die from undiagnosed heart problems. The evil Jan moir was just looking for max publicity for her collumn and she should now write an apology to stephen gatleys family and every gay person out there, i am a happily married straight woman with 2 kids and i believe everyone has the right to live how they choose. r.i.p stephen.
I think it is totally disgusting. Also to bring it out the day poor Stephens body was brought home, shows absolutely no respect at all to his family friends or fans. Let poor steo rest in peace.
Regardless whether Gateley was gay or straight, (though if you want to argue over that point, hundreds of studies have proved that gay men are far more likely to be promiscuous & relationships are more likely to be short term than heterosexual ones -that’s a fact, not an opinion) the fact remains that there was something very odd about the cause of death.
How come Gateley’s family were announcing confidently within a couple of hours of his death that no drink or drugs were involved and it was definately natural causes? Especially strange as he was in a different country at the time.
Usually in these situations, the family maintain a dignified silence until the post mortem has been done.
I would like to know how they could be so sure what the post mortem would show before it had even been done. To me, the whole thing has the whiff of a cover-up.
Shehen, why do you trawl the net looking for arguments?? Everyone hates you, no-one listens to you. And upset my cousin again and I’ll batter you.
In regards to the article on The Daily Mail, This has been submitted to the Mail, and probably won’t pass assessment:
So first the writer slates the singer’s ability, and then she goes on to tar all gay people with a huge malevolent brush?
“…the ooze of a very different and more dangerous lifestyle has seeped out for all to see.”
So straight people never go out, take random partners back to their apartments, and do whatever in the back room?
Polyamory is not exclusive to homosexuality EVEN IF THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED!
In the next article we see more bitter sniping at Tara P-T, who wore what may have been an ill-advised choice of clothing. But what does she then say?
“Tara, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you are too old for that look.
In fact, everyone is too old for that look, unless you happen to be Timmy the Tranny, the hat-check personage down at the My-Oh-My supper club in Brighton.”
Daily Mail – RID YOURSELVES OF THIS LIABILITY! PLEASE!
Mail rules: We welcome your opinions. This is a public forum. Libellous and abusive comments are not allowed.
Hold your staff to the same.
Excuse me JANISRIGHT but she is not saying what we think. It is being said by just about everyone that Mr Gately died tragically young and that the feeling of pity for his family and friends is very strong. I feel disgusted by her snide ‘belief’ that something slearzy went on. Is THAT anyone’s business anyway?
dear janisright, you are an idiot. Arguments like this are always interesting ( unpleasant as they are) because they bring the scum to the surface and clearly show how bigoted, dim witted and ignorant people are even today, i am astounded that such stupidity still exists, and why exactly is gay sex more dangerous than straight sex…pleeeease enlighten me!!!!!!!!!!!
let the dead rest.gays are lovely people after all they are human like the rest of us.i love boyzone and always have done and will continue to do so.people are so rude.they were so happy together and u could see that, .i personally will always remember him as i have done so before.he was a brilant entertainer and irish what more could u ask for?get a life and accept things the way they are.how does she no what they were up to that night none of her business.they were out enjoying themselves just like any other couples that being gays lesbians or a normal couple?so what?this woman is really unbeleivable what is her problem.i am very angry and hurt that she would think this way?get a life
I neither agree nor disagree.
But people talk too much.
Inevitably when you throw something like this open to comment then some people’s comments will horrify us. Is Janisright suggesting that the gay sex act killed Stephen?
There have been some excellent comments above – including Ruth’s original comments, which some up how most of us feel about this very well.
However, at the moment, we are still allowed free speech in this country, although, frankly, those at the Daily Mail might well want this limited to white, middle-class, straight people.
This country now is used to seeing people’s sex lives splashed across the front of the paper, but a line has been crossed here, hence the unheard-of reaction and number of complaints.
His partner, friends and family should be allowed to grieve. Of course his mother wants to believe it’s a congenital problem that could not have been avoided, god help her. We can – and will, speculate, because that’s the modern society we live in that believes it is entitled to share and discuss every nature of celebrities’ lives.
Some people, like Jordan, seem to thrive on it, until it inevitably backfires. However, Stephen seemed like quite a private guy – and a lovely one, and it is cruel and disrespectful to discuss it in this way.
The Sun publishing an interview with the “third” has only increased speculation for vultures like Jan Moir to pick over. In the case of Moir, it is the nastiness which really shocks – the suggestion he had no talent (not true); the suggestion he was “lonely” – don’t we all die alone, in fact?
Then, as most people said, to bring in other random gay people to corroborate her homophobic diatribe, really takes this into the realms of incitement. Likewise the original,headline, whether written by her or sub-editors, “there was nothing natural about Stephen Gately’s death,” might as well have said, “there was nothing natural about Stephen Gately’s life.”
I hope something good comes out of this article. I hope that there is a public recognition of, even an investigation into, what passes for journalism these days. Because even those from older generations, who struggle with modern attitudes to sex and lifestyle, must see that at the heart of this there is the tragic death of a nice guy, and a circle of people left devastated who deserve some protection.
Being gay didnt kill him so that should’nt be mentioned in any column.
Speculation about drugs etc only adds to the pain of the people hes left behind. We shouldnt comment on anything, let him be…
exit only no entry
I think if the coroners verdict was that of natural causes that is it end of story.
Any one saying anything against it need to be a coroner too or have evidence to the contrary. I think it is a tradgedy and the fact he was gay has noting to do with it. Have respect for a life cut so short and stop looking into something that is not there. Look at Michael Jackson that is still rumbling on the coroners word is gospel in my book. Let the souls of the deceased rest in peace. God bless Stephen and his family.
I don’t think Jan Moir’s comments were homophobic, or that she is homophobic. I think she could have shown a little more sensativity, but what she says, yes, it’s right, and we do have a free press.
I am gay, and I stay single and celibate. I know that the gay lifestyle is no where near as balanced and loving as what a straight person would enjoy, that gay relationships are not equal to straight relationships. The gay lobby keep trying to convince us all that they are, and the truth is they are not. Relationships between women tend to last longer than between a man and a woman, but tend to be emotionally dependant and very emotionally messy, which is why female partners often start dressing alike and they identify as one person. “We are doing this, we like this, we don’t like that” etc. Male relationships tend to be short-lived, and not many make it into old age without multiple other sexual partners being involved. So no, gay relationships are not equivalent and the same as straight relationships, and it’s time the gay lobby and straight benevolent types stopped trying to lie to us all and told the truth to both straight and gay people. Ms Moir could have been more sensative after yet another recent death, but like someone has said above, she is only saying what the rest of us are thinking, and yes, we live in a free country with a free press. If you want to see real homophobia etc, there’s plenty of gay people such as me who can tell you about daily incidents of violence and intimidation.
I think death is just a stairway to another world, filled by the desires craved by your mind most. Leave the lad alone janny, leave the lad alone! !! !
i totally disagree with her cpmments about steven gately.
1. It’s a tragedy
2. Coroners get things wrong all the time
3. Young, healthy people do not usually just die unless they are doing something very physical like playing a sport.
4. Jan has a right to say what she wants
5. Just looking at the “crime scene” the people involved are hiding details
6. People share what they want and hide what they want. In 50 years maybe we will learn the truth, on someone’s deathbed when they are about to face God.