Stephen Gately hasn’t been dead a week yet, but already people are huffing and puffing over the fact that his death appeared somewhat suspicious, and after Jan Moir seems to have angered half of Ireland with her article in The Daily Mail, it would be interesting to know what you think.
Twitter seems to be alive with people condemning Jan Moir’s article in The Daily Mail, as she writes; “All the official reports point to a natural death, with no suspicious circumstances. The Gately family are – perhaps understandably – keen to register their boy’s demise on the national consciousness as nothing more than a tragic accident.â€Â
The thing is, why is it any of our business what went on during that night, we can make assumptions until the cows come home if we like, but the only people who really know what happened that night are Georgi Dochev and Andrew Cowles.
Whilst we can poke the finger at the fact that Stephen and Andrew brought a man back to their apartment, would we have been writing about the news had Stephen still been alive? Probably not, so I don’t see how this could factor into the equation at all.
After The Sun reported that Georgi’s police statement said; â€ÂOnce at the residence, they were talking and they became intimate, until 5.30am.†it would appear that the guys had come home, carried on drinking and had a good time.
Had this been a same sex ‘threesome’ would we have still been ‘shocked’? I hope not, because this is the 21st century, and if we can’t handle gay threesomes, then I am pretty sure blokes should stop fantasising about sex with two women, because isn’t that still having a ‘gay’ encounter? Or do we look over that fact?
I think the problem here is that Jan Moir used phrases such as “And I think if we are going to be honest, we would have to admit that the circumstances surrounding his death are more than a little sleazy.†and “It is not disrespectful to assume that a game of canasta with 25-year-old Georgi Dochev was not what was on the cards.â€Â
Yet, had Jan written this article about Katie Price and her new boyfriend Alex Reid bringing another man or woman back home with then after a night out, would we have all had a laugh at Katie’s expense and slapped it across the papers the next day?
The main problem here is the way in which Jan Moir has put her opinion across, after all, we are entitled to share our opinion are we not? Good or bad, everyone has the right to say what they think. Perhaps a Daily Mail journalist should think twice before branding the dead popstar the “Posh Spice of Boyzone, a popular but largely decorous addition.†or describing him as “the group’s co-lead singer, even though he could barely carry a tune in a Louis Vuitton trunk.â€Â
Yet, the fact that Jan points out that it does seem odd that Stephen – an otherwise healthy young man – died whilst asleep on the sofa, is something I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve found it hard to get my head around.
I mean, I just can’t believe that someone so young, could just die, just like that. And whilst we can ramble on and on about the presence of another man, the smoking of cannabis and the fact that *shock horror* he was gay; the family and the coroner have said that Stephen died of natural causes, and so we should respect his memory and let it rest. Right?
The point here is, whatever Stephen had been doing that night, it appeared to be consensual, and it is not for us to assume what went on behind closed doors, whilst we would all wish to know the truth, the family want us to believe that Stephen died from ‘natural causes’ and out of respect, shouldn’t we abide by that, regardless of what we might think?
Please share your opinions with me, I am keen to hear what you think of the Jan Moir article and whether or not you believe there to be more to the Stephen Gately story that meets the eye?
just for you http://www.sads.org.uk/sudden_death.htm young ‘healthy’ adults die all the time, they are just not all famous
This article is totally disgusting.
I have no problem with Jan asking the question about how Gately died. Although none of Jan’s business, I agree there was probably more going on than just a friend brought to their flat.
My issue with this article is the conclusion Jan draws from the events.
How can you say that 2 tragic events are proof of how Civil Partnerships are a myth? How many straight couples are blighted by suicide? How many straight couples split up? How many straight couples bring a 3rd person into their relationship for some ‘fun’ (although it has not even been proved this is what happened here?).
Why would that not be a reflection on the myth of marriage but when it is about gay relationships, one example is apparently perfectly fine as ‘proof’.
I find it unbelievable that someone can make such a massive leap from this man’s death to questioning the whole idea of Civil Partnerships. I mean, he was in a boyband so perhaps boybands are dangerous as well? He was on holiday so perhaps this proves holidays are dangerous too?
let’s face it, Jan just said what we were all thinking anyway… get over it.
Saying what we’re all thinking? I worry that anyone would be thinking that.
Being gay did not kill Stephen. Pejorative references to his sexuality in connection with his death are completely intolerable (not to mention reason for complaint to the PCC according to their code of practice).
The insinuation that civil partnerships lead to death is disgusting. Marriages break up all the time, straight or gay. There is no civil partnership myth.
This article doesn’t surprise me, it is the Daily Mail afterall, but with gay hate crimes apparently on the rise, it worries me that this kind of bile is permitted in our national media.
What has the death of that poor chap married to Matt Lucas got to do with the demise of Stephen Gateley?
An quite awful article from a fat, lonely woman.
I’m with Jan on this one – There’s more to this than meets the eye… It’s just one woman’s opinion anyway.
I hope she dies a lonely, painful, and public death.
Like many I am totally shocked by the death of this wonderful guy. We have to feel for his partner and his family. In this day and age everyone wants the intimate details Im afraid. But dont judge people!! If they had a threesome and were having fun, Im afraid thats part of gay relationships and if their relationship was strong enough to make it work, I admire them. Stephen was really instrumental in me coming out. The articles in the press gave me strength at that time to go the final step. So I have to thank him for that and will always remember him. No one is a villain here. If you dont understand it, then dont knock it!!
Her curiosity might be perfectly understandable but her manner is abhorrent. I accept that there are homophobic people out there and, at some point, I’m going to get offended; it’s happened before and will do so again.
I do not accept however, that a journalist on a national newspaper can write in such a vindictive way. Her implication that any other 30-something with an apparent family history of heart problems (her words, not mine) is perfectly entitled to die of natural causes, but a gay 30-something had to have been engaged in some kind of “vice” or drugs, sickens me.
I could go on, but I think Joe (above) has expressed my feelings far more eloquently. Probably because I’m still spitting with rage!
The article was a disgraceful excuse for journalism. The author seems to say that the tragic death of a young man would somehow call the integrity of civil partnerships into question?
What is the happy-ever-after myth? Civil partnerships are just the same as any other partnership, some have happy endings and many do not. The article is full of predjudice. How can the author say that the tragic suicide of Kevin McGee raises troubling questions? Is this trying to insinuate that depression and despair do not occur in the straight population? What lunacy!
It is hateful that the author automatically assumes that this was something ‘sleazy’ without official information from police. Unfortunately the Daily Mail seems to make a habit of this kind of tripe. The one fact here is that a much-loved young man is dead and will be missed.
And Simon – you said “Im afraid thats part of gay relationships”.
Please don’t generalise. That kind of thing paints us all in a bad light – Some couples, gay or straight have threesomes. Not all do. I hate the screaming promiscuous queen stereotypes so loved by the media, but it’s actually generally just a case of kids who need to grow up and who eventually do.
Just saved me a job there, David!
Jan Moir = white trash
I apologise if I caused even further offence. Was not meaning to. All couples are different, straight or gay. What they get up to in their private lives is up to them and above all…. PRIVATE!! I wish this was never even brought up and as for the “third” if he uses it for his own purposes in the future, there is no forgiving that. Think of Stephen’s memory and his family. There are other facts of their relationship that will get dragged up. A pity. Relationships are hard work, any type.
The article was indeed tripe. I have read dozens of artciles on the net and in the press, most are NOT reporting the facts at all correctly. Read the official reports from the police. It seems very clear what happened. I hope we can let him rest in peace, and I hope that the partner and family will be left to grieve their sad loss.
Jan’s article breaks points 1, 3, 5 and 12 of the Journalist’s Code of Practice, as found at http://www.pcc.org.uk/cop/practice.html – I suggest everyone else who is as disgusted as I am by Muir’s article register a complaint here: http://www.pcc.org.uk/complaints/form.html stating the above and attaching a link to the article (before it curiously disappears from the internet of course…)
I agree Simon, I know you didn’t mean to cause offence and it was just a poor choice of words.
The sad thing is that this article will probably just end up giving Jan Moir loads of publicity. I didn’t know who she was before today.
It was a tragedy and nothing more, based on the facts to hand. People have parties when they go on holidays, particularly millionaire former pop stars.
And Wacko, I don’t think anyone’s disputing that there might be more to this than is currently in the public domain. What we are objecting to is the homophoia and generalisations. Particularly the Kevin McGee reference is bizarre. Imagine saying that because a divorced woman commits suicide we should question the institution of marriage. Very strange thinking.
what kind of journalist is jan moir?!!! not happy that Stephen Gately is dead she’s only short of tying his body to a car and having it dragged around for miles!!!! A disgusting excuse of a woman and very keen to shout from the rooftops her imagined failings of people- maybe she should be more concerned about what people think of her!
1. Speculating about a man’s death when the speculation is totally at odds with the coroner’s findings is not journalism.
2. Criticising Stephen Gateley’s voice is pointlessly hurtful.
3. What consensual adults do is their own business.
.
4. The civil partnerships line is revolting journalism and utterly indefensible.
The Daily Mail always has opinion pieces that provoke debate and or anger. This one has travelled through cyberspace like wildfire for its sheer malice.
This plunges new depths of dire journalism, even for Daily Mail standards. What a vile, ill informed woman Jan Moir is. The amount of inaccuracies and offensive comment in the article warrant complaints to the PCC. And I dont usually complain about anything….. Sack the sorry excuse for a human being!
A Truly nasty piece of writing. I’m sure even her Daily Mail colleagues are ashamed.
READ THIS http://tinyurl.com/ygy2r3m excellent little blog that takes the article apart piece by piece to show how disgusting the article really was, her accusations and implications right in front of your very eyes.
I think she’s angered more than just half of ireland with her article. It just goes to show that British Journalism is an absolute sham and NOTHING is previewed before publishing. It’s absolutely disgusting.
It’s full of speculation and disgusting jibes about his personal life, so what if he was gay it doesnt make him ANY less of a human being. She is disgusting! Ugh.
I find Jans constant need to reassure herself quite revealing…the need to remind us that the article is all about fact when actually it is anything but! The sugar coating, if indeed there has been any, was most likely to counter-balance the poisin that was bound to be produced by the media. Although this article has upset me and made me angry, I was by no means surprised. Of course, when a gay person dies it has to be connected to their sexuality, how could it be just an individual circumstance? And as for degrading civil partnerships…are you telling me that marriages are any better? The only reason we have less coverage of the pitfalls of marriage is because it has become fully-accepted and absorbed into the fabric of society (i.e. the media is bored of that topic) so let’s attack civil partnerships! The fact that my husband and I fully trust each other, love each other and would do anything for each other pales in comparison to the fact that we are…gay. Having an opinion is fine, good or bad, because it encourages people to challenge their previous ideas but this article fully intends to manipulate and colour peoples judgment…and there are far too many people that are easily-led.
Hilarious. Can’t people have an opinion anymore? Why is everyone so precious. I don’t mind gay people, but i still think a sordid little act occurred, not too dissimilar to the ones I partake in within a heterosexual relationship.
There is one truth in the article,”what happened before they parted is known only to the two men still alive. What happened afterwards is anyone’s guess…”
I really don’t think the media realise that we don’t care either way. It is just so sad, and the world has lost a very talented young man far too early.
I don’t understand people’s outrage with either Cowles enjoying the company of this other man or Stephen himself. They were both in the house, and i presume both consented to having him there. What ‘went on’ is nobody’s business quite frankly. It is not for us to comment on this personal relationship.
Also, this whole business of him being ‘along on the sofa’… are you telling me that a £1 million apartment only has one bedroom & there is no space for guests.
About 95% that has been written and talked about since Stephen’s death, has been purely speculation. An example of how the media control us. We’re arguing & contemplating over a bunch of nothingness.
This is a very fair analysis that you have written. But Jan Moir’s style of journalism, factless, is the reason our national press is an utter joke.
Thank you, Truth. I recently lost a loved one – a perfectly healthy 37 year old man – who died in much the way this Jan Moir woman thinks men don’t. Reading that statement in her little column made me want to b**ch slap her upside the head.
Charlie Booker sums this up perfectly (guardian newspaper)”Jan Moir manages to walk the difficult tightrope between being a bitch and a c*nt”
worrying that there are some people that actually support jans opinions.
Jan was not being vindictive. Read her article again. I thought it was very poignant and made a lot of sense. People need to get their heads out of their arses and get a grip with reality. I wasn’t a boyzone fan but I was saddened by the news and I am certainly not homophobic, im all for free love! Again publicity over rules and to be honest, im sure half the population are more disturbed by their own grief for the loss of their own family members out at war or the loss of a grandparent or a brother or sister and nobody sees this plastered all over the papers. Get a life and accept things for what they are.
Two unrelated incidents are indicative of a trend? The only trend I see is the Daily Mail giving voice to bigots and right-wing nutjobs under the banner of ‘speaking for Middle England’.
@Mad Max – Her article did indeed sound reasonable at first, I was taken in myself, but it is the weasily way she brings up other gay men unnecessarily (what has George Michael, Matt Lucas and Kevin McGee got to do with this case?) and hinting at Gately having a dangerous lifestyle that has people annoyed
hmm.. they have changed the headline title and taken down all the adverts from the article page…
‘I mean, I just can’t believe that someone so young, could just die, just like that. ‘
I would imagine there are a number of things you ‘can’t imagine’, ‘Ruth’, that doesn’t mean they don’t. Reality is not based around your subjective concept of truth.
A good thing too, really, since there’s the same ‘It must’ve been because of teh gay’ undertone thinly hidden in your blog…
@ Ky, that’s worrying, considering my best friend is gay.
I can assure you, your comments are completely wrong.
Why are people pretending? She said what we all thought, albeit in a rude way. Why are you guys so defensive- its common knowledge that gay sex is more dangerous that straight sex and I’m not even homophobic. Please, take it easy. This is an overreaction.
JANISRIGHT – please tell me you are kidding? Or are you really just completely ignorant? Can you provide some insight into this ‘common knowledge’? And, yes, youm ARE homophobic!
WHAT??! Janisright is a muppet – how exactly to you arrive at that comment you fool
The Daily Mail have edited Jan Moir’s article, so it may not read as offence as it originally was.
I hope the original version is still floating around on the internet.
It is not her opinion about what went on that’s being questioned – apart from the insensitivity of the timing the day before the funeral – but the hardly hidden homophobia and the way she moralises because he did consensual things in private that weren’t intended for public consumption or moral dissection and thinks they’re a bit icky. How she can link the deaths of Gately and Matt Lucas’s former husband is totally beyond me as there is no link other than that they were both gay. And if someone says a perfectly healthy 33 year can’t just die for no reason once more I won’t be responsible for the consequences.
Her comments are ill informed, show a real lack of understanding of congenital heart diseases, where yes shock young healthy men do just die – many have been famous sportsmen / women.
Jan moir needs to be sacked , her comments are not only offensive to Stephens Family , straight people , gay people but all those of us who have lost someone suddenely at a young age to a heart condition.
How the hell can we expect children to stop bullying ang grow up well adjusted when the daily mail publish this sort of pooh.
Three cute young men share a joint and some sex play. One dies later.
I am not prepared to condemn this gentle gay swinging which many gay men do do.
And I am sad Stephen Gately died.
But someone needs to stand up and say that Gay liberation is not all about becoming just like straight people.
For some of us, being gay means a marriage with someone we love, where the loved develops into friendship, and one soul lives in two bodies.
For many of us, being gay means serial monogamy (as with many straight people).
And for many of us, being gay means a mix of many things, one being that we appreciate and celebrate the sheer joy of sexual pleasure, sometimes taking place in groups, and seeing in that a joy of union and fellowship which is its own justification.
As for me, I wish I were cuter!
2 things – I find it really disturbing when people say ‘I’m not homophobic’ then follow with a generalisation disguised as ‘common knowledge’ (i.e. media myths that make homophobic people feel better about being prejudiced) and secondly Steff is spot on, I was initially taken in by the article because of the way it was written (i.e. persuasively – remember persuasive writing at primary school???) but then took a step back and realised her intention behind it – geez do people really swallow this stuff???
I was quite stunned by the lack of depth,insight or coherence in this piece of writing-gcse standard at best.When I realised who had written it it all made sense.A third rate column from a third rate columnist.I’m sure she sleeps well at night-not.
If you agree with all or any part of Moir’s ill informed & homophobic article, then you are as ignorant, prejudiced & lacking in compassion as Muir is.
The fact that Daily Mail has changed the headline of this story from “Why there was nothing natural about Stephen Gately’s death” to “A strange, lonely & troubling death” speaks volumes. If this contemptible rag had any integrity the article would be taken down, instead Moir has issued a statement defending her views ( which are libellous aswell as inaccurate, dishonest & bigotted ).
The Daily Mail is the prefered reading matter of the ignorant conservative, the sooner this breed of person dies out, the sooner “newspapers” like The Daily Mail will become extinct, hopefully one day the hateful views contained within its pages will die out too.
JANISRIGHT. What proof have you that gay sex is more dangerous? Do you just drop dead often if you’re having it. What a load of utter bollocks.
PS are you Jan Moirs lesbian lover?
She’s succeeded hasn’t she. Everyone is reading her article. More people will know her name. I never heard of her before today. Dust her under the carpet and keep her there. I never buy the Daily Mail and you can be sure I never will. Pity her that she has to resort to this type of journalism to heighten herself professionally. She is the dirt on Stephen Gately’s shoes. He was a true professional. He will be remembered forever. But, who’s em what’s her name??.
Its this promescuity in the gay community that spread AIDS back in the day. He wasnt the first partner to die that week from a same sex union either. Did he marry just to increase his publicity?
UNFORTUNATELY ITS SAD THAT WE HAVE THESE SMALL MINDED PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO BUT STIR UP SITUATIONS.CAN WE NOT JUST MAYBE FOR ONCE ACCEPT THE FACT THAT A YOUNG TALENTED MAN DIED AN UNTIMELY DEATH WITH NO IF’S AND BUTS.
The tabloid media is a curse that was introduced by Rupert Murdoch, it has over the years erroded any sence of decency the media ever had in the first place.
Attacking, bullying, lying, is now standard practice with them, no wonder there is so much bullying in schools, kids learn from adults, it is ok to poke fun at people, ok to ridicule, pass judgement, make up false stories and spread unfounded rumours, and now it is ok to trash the deceased.
The vile Lorraine Kelly did it when she trashed Michael Jackson’s memorial service in the Daily Mirror, she called it a circus where his grieving daughter was the main attraction, people who took part were ‘clapped out’ and only there for publicity and her most vicious attack was to say Shaheen had a narrow escape, and all a couple of weeks after she had been gushing over Tito Jackson. She watched a memorial service for a man she hated just so that she could trash it in her sleazy tabloid colum, what have we come to when we accept that.
Now we have another untimely and tragic death of a public figure and this repulsive individual has to heap distress upon his greiving family and friends.
Most of us consider it a matter of basic human decency to respect, if not the dead, then at least the grieving family, but the tabloids have now become so used to being able to do what they like and still sell millions of copies that there are no depths to which they will not sink.
If people are disgusted then they should stop buying this trash. This was a decent young man whose life has been tragically cut short, as ever it is a case of those with no talent attacking those with a lot of talent, they spew out their venum and people pay to read it.
This tabloid writter is the lowest form of life and people should leave the Daily Mail on the shelves until she is fired, along with the editor who allowed this.
Attacking a deceased person is cowardly and unacceptable.
First i want to say how sorry i feel for stephens family and friends for their loss, not only do they have to deal with their loss but now this!! After reading the comments all i can say is the problem with this world is small minded people who think they can say what they want about gay people, it was clear stephen was happy with his husband and had a good life so i wish some day gay people can marry who they want, who gives anyone the right to say things about someone else life, people in glass houses shouldnt throw stones!! May he rest in peace!!
It makes me sick how she won’t even apologise or understand that her comments lead to further justification for homophobic attacks and suicides. Another reason not to let the Tories back into government.
Has already been mentioned but young, seemingly healthy people DO go to sleep and DON’T wake up. That much is a fact and only an ignorant, insensitive or poory educated person would dispute that.
What really annoys me is the way she has undermined all civil unions, like this one tragic event suddenly casts doubt on love between any human beings, never mind just gay human beings. I find it astonishing how she came to such a conclusion.
We have no idea what happened that night and in a way it is irrelevant. Thepost mortem said it wan’t due to drugs or alcohol so we have to believe that and whatever else did happen that night is none of our bussiness. For all we know the 3rd male might have been a long term friend of theirs. Why does it automatically have to be something sexual because they are gay?? Or simply because they are male? Whether it was sexual or whether they sat around playing dominos is really bugger all to do with anyone and we should not allow it to overshadow the true tragedy that occurred that night.
Ridiculous article should never have been allowed to be printed. Totally insensitive and narrow minded.
I don’t think gayness has anything to do with it.
If Gately was hetero and married, and his wife had spent the night with a Bulgarian stranger while Gately lay dying on a sofa outside the bedroom, the Daily Mail would have been JUST AS critical of promiscuous lifestyles.