Author Archives: dahlia

About dahlia

So how about some background? I live in London and work in the film industry in Soho, meaning I am constantly surrounded by beautiful men, gorgeous women and fabulous men dressed as women, who are annoyingly still seemingly more attractive than I am. I have just come out of yet another unsuccessful relationship (a month counts as a relationship, right?) and I’m done with knee jerking and jumping into a commitment because I’m grateful someone wants me. No more settling. No more sitting by and letting all the other girls bag the hotties! It’s my turn now! I plan to join dating sites, read dating books, and actually listen to the advice my friends give me to see through a series of projects in the hope of working out how to bag me the perfect guy and play men at their own games.

Men Are So… Much Easier When Dissected

One of the things I’ve found holds me back in the relationship world is the fact I can sometimes – maybe – be a little bit picky. I can be dating an absolute hero of a guy, a really great chap who to all intents and purposes is perfect. Except… he has that weird flick that his hair does, or he slurps spaghetti too loudly, or, I don’t know, he has a hairy back. Bleaugh.

I have decided this problem is not my fault. It’s the fault of romcoms. Prince charming is out there!! That perfect man. An angel without wings, just waiting to sweep you off your feet and into his arms…..

ALAS…

This, I hate to break it to you ladies, is rubbish. Sure, there are a few dreamboats out there. Guys that are just right for you, but still, even with your nice mishmashed man of Adam Brody’s head on Mark Wahlberg’s body with Ron Jeremy’s… well, you know what I’m getting at here, you’re still going to find some way to be disappointed.

So, I’ve taken a new stance on dating. I made a list of a few fundamental qualities I would like a guy to have and will go on a date if the gent asking meets my requirements. Of course, you can’t be too specific. If your list features ‘drives a Lamborghini and buys me flowers every day’ I’m afraid you’re setting yourself up for a fall.

MY LIST
1.    Focus and drive – Suitor must have a job and wish to better himself.
2.    Solid group of friends – Suitor must have a good group of friends he spends regular time with (I do not want to be a lonely man’s obsession.)
3.    Attentive – Suitor must be attentive, but not obsessive. (difficult line to tread I know, but there are billions of men that manage it)
4.    Honesty – This one should really go without saying, but, in this day and age, it definitely needs to made a point of.
5.    Pride in their appearance – Here comes that shallow me. But let’s admit it, a well dressed, clean date is way more of a turn-on that someone that turns up with un-brushed teeth and jeans that are too short.

Over that past few weeks or so I have been on a number of dates with guys that fitted the ‘code’. Of course, some of them lacked that chemistry, but one of them stood out. He has ticks in all the boxes above and makes me laugh uncontrollably. Yes, he does have qualities that don’t live up to my Brad Pitt standard, but I don’t seem to notice them… because he’s so spot on with the fundamental requirements.

Now ladies, I am by no means saying settle for anything. You NEED to fancy the pants off your fella! All I’m saying is, give guys a break, They’re not all bad, and just because he forgets your favourite drink sometimes it doesn’t mean he’s not Mr Right.

I’ll keep you posted with how this one goes, I’m sure you’ll all enjoy hearing how I attempt to handle this.
Your friend,
Dahlia xxx

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Men Are So… Impressed By Confidence!

I think for a lot of us, the reason we’re single is because we lack confidence.. I mean, let’s face it, I can’t think of anything more humiliating than approaching an attractive guy and being shot down. I have since come to the conclusion that we’re all controlled by ‘the fear’.

However, like most girls, I have random bursts of confidence that have given me the chance to meet amazing people… Here comes an example: A few years ago I was on a train journey from Manchester to Blackpool when I noticed the most ADORABLE guy.

He had that delightful vacant indie look about him. I found myself glancing up and smiling at him the entire time, he however, must have been so freaked out by my display that he didn’t say a word and kept looking down at his comic book (Yes! He reads comic books, and that happens to be a turn on for me… go figure?).

As the stops until between the train’s current location and Blackpool station begin to get fewer and fewer – although he could get up and leave at any time – I felt like I had to do something, he could be the one! So I scribbled my name and number onto a piece of paper, and as I stood up to leave the train I handed him the note.

I was strong and didn’t look back.

On the walk away from the station I felt amazing. If he doesn’t text me I haven’t lost anything because I don’t know him. But he had to appreciate what it took for me to do that…

He text me within minutes.

This guy has been one of my best friends for almost 5 years now, but he certainly didn’t text me that first time because he wanted to start a beautiful friendship. He was curious, and impressed by my bravery. He has told me since that he’s never seen anyone sexier than the girl I was when I handed him that note.

However… I do understand that handing out your number to a perfect stranger probably isn’t the safest idea, so thankfully I have a solution. There’s a brilliant new website called losemynumber.co.uk that is perfect for this. Basically the website provides you with a secondary number that gets diverted to your phone. You can disconnect the number if you tire of the guy but it’s a great thing to have if you want to be more outgoing! Plus, the website is completely free so no excuses!
Happy flirting ladies.

Dahlia. xxx

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Men Are So… Easily Accessible

I don’t think I’m alone in thinking that I just want a guy around to tell me how beautiful I am and show a genuine interest in what I have to say. Y’know, someone who likes my stories and seems fascinated by the fact I’ve cut out carbs because cankles don’t work for me.

Normally, when we discuss our day-to-day ponderings with someone of the opposite sex, they may nod, and smile in agreement, but we all know that in their head they’re thinking; “If I kiss her she’ll finish blabbering and then we can just get down to it.”

This is why I think the chase, or being pursued, is way more rewarding than cooking steak and chips for the third time in a week because your fella ‘doesn’t like anything else’, and foot rubs..? Unless I’m receiving them, I don’t wanna know.

My decision to be single has led me to be pickier than I have been in the past when it comes to finding a man. The PERFECT way to do this is by joining a dating site. It’s fantastic. Admittedly, at first I was a complete sceptic. I figured that a dating site would be of absolutely no use to me. I was wrong.

I joined Zoosk.com a week ago and I don’t think I’ve ever felt better about myself. Firstly, I liked the fact I had access to a literal database of hot totty. When you’re in a club the guys can see you looking at them… but they can’t online. So we have the perk of their ego’s being pushed to one side.

My second thumbs up comes from the fact that all you have to do is upload one picture and write a tiny bit of blurb about yourself and you get FLOODS of eligible bachelors mailing you telling you exactly what you want to hear… ‘Girl, you’re beautiful.’ ‘Gorgeous’. ‘Let’s meet up sometime?’

Of course, I’ve decided not to mail any of them back just yet. This way I can pick and choose from a list of men who already fancy me… minimal work on my part.
I never thought I’d find myself feeling sexy in sweat pants and a hoody (a hoody with a soup stain on it), but I actually do; and there’s no pressure. Sure, these guys probably do want to sleep with you… but you hold all the cards. It’s way easier to be in control when they’re the ones chasing after you, in fact, it’s completely liberating and empowering.

Seriously ladies, I highly recommend you get involved. I’m going to be trying out a few more sites in the coming weeks so watch this space for a delightful review of which ones are worth your time, which ones have the sexiest fellas, and which ones have the most to offer a busy single woman.

Good luck in love ladies. Happy flirting.

Dahlia xXx

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Men Are So… Good At Pretending They Care

The worst thing about a break up is telling people. I hate going out and having people ask ‘Where’s your boyfriend?’ I suppose that’s one good thing about Facebook. At least when your status changes, most people find out that two has become one (not in the awesome Spice Girls way) and you avoid the bursting-into-tears-on-the-dance-floor debacle.

I recently broke up with my boyfriend. A sad time in anyone’s life. It’s rough because this person – who was such a huge part of your life – is no longer around, it’s almost as though there is a void in your day-to-day activity. Who am I going to sneakily text at work? Who’s going to meet me off the tube and spend the night watching movies and eating crappy food with me? Surely there’s someone out there who wants to spend time with me?

Last night, my Facebook status update read:  Dahlia went from being ‘in a relationship’ to ‘single’ and for some reason, having this emblazoned across my profile acts as a beacon of ‘booty’ to all the sleazes on my friends list. I received messages from guys I barely even talk to with the transparent opener; ‘OH NO, what happened?!’

I’m pretty sure the direct translation is; ‘Do you need re-bound sex?’

But I’ll have to confront my girl to douche dictionary on that one.

Ordinarily, I would probably have begun texting one of these miscreants in an attempt to fill the space my boyfriend had just vacated (not that space, you dirty minds!) only to find that I have been rejected again because, two weeks down the line, he’s realised he won’t be sleeping with me. But now, after enlisting the help of my friends, literature, websites and movies, I’m going to play these guys at their own game.

PROJECT 1: Taming the ‘player.’

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Passing Of The Torch From Memphis to Dahlia….

As all female kind is well aware, finding Mr Right is a lot more difficult than we’d have hoped. Any of you who have been following the dating trials and tribulations of Memphis will be fully aware you’re not alone on the unsuccessful quest for a man that is perfect for you.

However, it IS possible! Memphis herself is testament to that. Your friend and mine is probably cuddled up with her delightful boyfriend right now, blissfully discussing her day and receiving a foot rub. Maybe.

Unfortunately, my evenings are still filled with styling my hair to look like Lady Gaga’s and singing Chaka Khan’s ‘I’m Every Woman’ into a hairbrush… Slightly different to my romanticised prediction of my life at 23.

As Memphis is now madly in love, I shall be taking over her blog – and probably humiliating myself in the dating world in the process – so that all you ladies have someone’s mistakes to learn from. Let’s face it… there’ll be many.

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