Lies come in many guises, there are the big lies we tell to save ourselves, then there are the smaller lies that get told to say save a relationship, and then there are lies we tell ourselves. If I had a special abilty it would be to tell if someone was lying, although that could also be a curse.
I find myself analysing how people are acting while they are talking more than listening and analysing the words. It is said that bin a conversation with a stranger, more than half of what they tell the other person is usually a lie of some scale.
Its human nature to naturally take people at face value because that is what we would like to believe. Luckily enough for those that want the truth, the body itself can never lie. People give off micro expressions that say what they are not.
Take these key actions the truth seeker can look for…
1. Body Language- Sweating, fidgeting, and folded arms are all very obvious signs of discomfort with the conversation.
2. Details- Liars have a tendency to be vague and skip over the small things. Asking in depth questions and asking for particular details the person will start to slip up with the inability to keep track of the additional “facts” in lies.
3. Aggresiveness – After being caught, liars tend to become aggresive and try to “push” the other person away. Anger is a very large tell to the reaction of a question thats a lie.
4. Eyes- Being that were are human and we are by nature “do-gooders” its difficult for a liar to keep eye contact during confrontation.
5. Stress – Again this is a reaction in the eyes and also the voice. Pupils dilate during times of stress (though it may be sexual attraction because that gives the same response) and the voice will elevate to a higher pitch.
6. Long Pauses- For most, lies don’t usually appear immediately in the mind. They take a pause after a question to formulate to make the most sense. Listen for the long pauses and be wary.
7. Repeat it- Police investigators ask suspects to repeat their story and look for inconsitencies in the stories. Also, liars think in a for the moment “forward” motion. Get the person to reiterate the events backwards, and they will struggle to do so.
8. Self Declaration- Someone who really wants to be believed, despite our natural ability to trust, will reinforce the fact that they’re being honest. Phrases to look for are “trust me,” “truth be told,” and “to be honest with you.”
9. Itching and Scratching- Someone telling a lie will scratch their nose, tug their ear or rub their neck while lying. These are self comforting tactics.
10. Trust Yourself- Intuition can be a wonderful thing. Trust yourself above all. If someones story doesn’t make sense ask yourself why.
Roslyn – Life guru