Category Archives: Women’s Issues

Nearly half of women are stuck in a rut

Getting into a routine is  a way of life, and let’s us know when and how to plan our schedules. A routine provides stability that most of us need, but what about when it just becomes a rut?

New research from Groupon reveals that 44% of women feel like they’re stuck in rut and 22% strongly agree that they do the same things day-to-day and week-to-week.

But what effect does this have on us?

34% of women say that a lack of confidence was one of the reasons that they aren’t trying new things.

Seven Suphi, Life Coach and Behavioural Change Specialist says:

“New experiences mean new challenges which mean you cannot operate on autopilot, you have to actively think and actively experience life. That active living means you are exercising your brain, your body and enhancing your life experience, helping you have a healthier happier more enriched life. Even the latest research in neuroscience has shown, in some instances, that more external new fun activity = more internal brain activity = bigger brain. That old expression ‘use it or lose it’ is actually true!”

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Karly Ashworth Talks Cheryl Cole & WAG’s

It seems like such a distant memory when we think back to the Girls Aloud girlies auditioning for Popstars: The Rivals. When Cheryl was still a young girl with just hopes and dreams… I bet she never could have imagined what was destined to become of her in years to come! From this young girl Cheryl has blossomed into a successful, independent woman, one in which we can all look up to.

One thing I really respect about Cheryl is the way in which she distanced herself from the dreaded tag of being a W.A.G…. although she married a very successful, high profile footballer and was spotted regularly socializing with other ‘WAG’ pals, she pushed herself to be successful in her own right and became famous for her own talent rather than being pushed into the background as a piece of ‘bling’ on some footballers arm.

Although many women did not agree with Cheryl’s decision to stand by her husband after it was first exposed that he had been unfaithful, I have to give it to her, it takes a stronger woman to stay and forgive you man and to keep working on your marriage than it does to simply pack up and walk away! It’s just a shame some men don’t see a good thing when they have it. I know footballers have a reputation for ‘playing the field’ but with news about Ashley cheating AGAIN, I couldn’t help but find myself thinking ‘If Cheryl Cole gets cheated on, what hope do the rest of us have?!’

But good riddance to bad rubbish I  say and I am happy that Cheryl has decided that now is the time to forget about him, and focus on herself!

So, after a busy year, Cheryl has raced up the ladder of success and with collaborations with will.i.am and the keen interest from both the public and industry in America, her music career is yet to soar. Not only that, but I’m sure many other aspects of her career will take off too.

Cheryl has been recognised as a style icon and revered as a fashionista, I know that I am always keen to see what Cheryl is wearing next, and what hair style/accessories she will be donning and I’m sure all you ladies are the same! Her down to earth charm, inner and outer beauty and the sympathy from women all over the country has seen her popularity grow and she definitely has a place in my heart!

After seeing a picture of Cheryl in this weeks tabloids with a gorgeous new hair do and a smile on her face, I think its safe to say Cheryl’s happiness and career are on the up. She is living proof that you do not need to rely on a man in order to succeed, and as sad as it is to watch your marriage disappear, I’m sure it will be so much more rewarding to see what the future holds!

So ladies, remember : a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle, go out there and define yourself as a sex, confident and above all, successful woman. Hit me up on Twitter if you want to chat – @mskarlyashworth – until next time. Mwah!
Karly.xx

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Relationships From An XY Perspective

I think it’s safe to say that I don’t represent the average demographic of city-dwelling men.

I don’t go out a great amount; I’m certainly one for creature comforts. I’m not promiscuous, and you won’t find me face down in a gutter in the early hours of Sunday morning after an all night binge of booze and amorality.

I have a small circle of friends who I enjoy the company of, but other than that, my social standing isn’t massive. It started making me think about the two sexes and their relationships.

Not those sort of relationships, God no, I’m not touching that one with a 20 foot cow prodder, but friendly relationships; who you see, who you go to the pub with, see a film or a concert.

As I’ve mentioned before, my circle is limited to say the least, but I have a niggling feeling that this is because, as a male, I don’t find my friendships as interchangeable as I would had I been born with oestrogen running through my veins.

Now I acknowledge that this is a pretty bold statement to make; who am I to say that female relationships are of less intrinsic value than males? But from what I’ve seen, it seems to be the case. I also attribute this to women being a damn sight friendlier than men are, depending on the individual, naturally.

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I remember being in school, if there was a new girl, she would be welcomed into the undeveloped bosom of her peers, almost without question, the new boy, however, would be categorically ignored. The openness and willing to interact makes it seem like females have greater bonds when it comes to friendship, but this instantaneous acceptance requires no vetting for friends, so they could become ‘bitches’ within the week. No real bond has been formed, because the initial pleasantness overshadows it.

With males, it’s either I like you or I don’t; if I don’t then I won’t speak to you, if I do then welcome to the club. This kind of severe, yet effective choice making makes for stronger better lasting bonds.

But I find myself continuously drawn to females for friendship. As I’ve stated too many times now, I’m not the archetypal man’s man. I like the arts, I have… feelings, and junk, which makes interaction and conversations a lot easier with the fairer sex.

Perhaps friendships between the sexes are the strongest. Sometimes they get a bit too strong and it all goes a bit wrong, I know I’ve been there.

As people grow and mature, their threshold for garbage becomes less and less, which invariably means friendships are stronger anyway, but with those few left behind in the whirlwind of adolescence, she’ll be your ‘BFF’ today, and a complete bitch-hoe by the weekend.

But like I say, what do I know?

Joe Bishop


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Karly Ashworth Down Under

G’day readers! Well for those of you who don’t already know, I’ve packed up and flown to Australia for some very exciting work commitments!

I really have to declare my love for this city, Melbourne really is one of the most vibrant, fashionable, and educational places I have ever been to. There are endless things to do and see here, the food is great, the city is tremendously stylish and it has a great sense of anyone can be whoever they want to be here – which leads me to comment on how lovely and friendly the people are!

It has been non stop since I landed here and I have to admit, I am loving every single minute of it! These last two weeks have been crazy with events, meetings and talks regarding my upcoming movie role – So its all systems go, and full speed ahead!

I always find it important to stay focused, and when things stand in my way, I cut them off or make my way around them, when it comes to life, I am a great believer in ‘If you want something in life – you can get it’ I remember writing in my yearbook that in 10 years time I see myself being famous, becoming a successful Model and entrepreneur… Now maybe that isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but it certainly was mine!

Don’t get me wrong though, my ambition wasn’t to be some wannabe WAG, I never aspired to become some rich guys wife, my goal in life was simply to become successful in something I loved and above all, be a independent woman. I enjoyed every minute in the Big Brother house and used my experience and time on the show as a platform for the life I lead now after all; life is what you make of it, and I intend to keep on doing what I love most and keeping myself on the right track!

Obviously, it’s not all work and no play here though, I mean come on, that’s just not me is it?! So, what else have I been up to over here? Well, I spent a few days last week at L’oreal fashion week where I enjoyed many shows including lots from some extremely talented Australian designers.

My favourites were from Carly Hunter (I’m not biased because of the name, honest!) and well known brand, MIMICO, for their fabulous accessories that make an outfit dazzle!  The shows were so inspiring and I also took the time to step into the L’oreal powder room for a makeup and nail makeover and even indulged myself in some aftershow catwalk sales where everything was almost 90% off! Now ladies, if that isn’t heaven, I don’t know what is… well unless there were some of my favourite UK brands there too – I just love Topshop and All Saints when I’m at home!

For me, this week was all about finding my inner confidence again, and what better way to do that than by enjoying a few of the things I love most: Fashion, beauty, and keeping busy!? I’m also working on a few interesting business ideas and know a lot of you lovely ladies have been after some fashion, beauty and shopping tips so with my brand new website almost complete – I have dedicated a whole new section to just that!

If you cant wait till the website is up, As always feel free to tweet me on my official twitter @mskarlyashworth.

Until next time, stay beautiful.

Karly.x

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Karly : My Battle With Bulimia

Weight always seems to be an issue people struggle with. Regardless of whether its to loose, gain or stay the same, our body image is becoming increasingly important as the need to be ‘picture perfect’ continues. With constant reminders of skinny celebs, models and movie stars. I find myself asking, ‘Do we even know what perfect is?’

I think its important for me now to be completely honest and say now that I did, very recently, suffer in a small part, from bulimia. Whilst it’s no excuse, a controlling relationship, instant fame, photo shoots and the pressure to have the figure that every young girl would want is mostly to blame for this.

Before, during and after Big Brother I was fine, I never battled with my weight and had always had been content with my figure, however a few months after leaving the Big Brother house, I would find myself always eating out in the nicest restaurants’, but yet it seemed so dark. I felt I often needed to eat as I was the one being taken out for dinner, and without wanting to be rude, I would eat the food in front of me, but was always conscious of how unhealthy what I was eating was. Lets be honest, who can eat out every day and night and stay thin!

I would often (but not always) find I would excuse myself form the table and go to the bathroom to throw up. I know this is graphic but for the sake of other girls suffering the same, I think its extremely important for me to speak out, and take criticism if I need to, and help others!

Looking back I know now that this was unhealthy, but at the time I remember all that was going through my head was ‘I need to stay thin’  and being away from my friends and family at the time, I had no one for support but myself.

This blog will most likely be the first time my closest friends and family will even know about this, and the majority of the time, sufferers don’t want to upset their loved ones by telling them about their illness, but I am confident enough to share it with them now as well as anyone else who wants to listen.

With something like this, it’s very much a case of mind over matter, I only remember battling with this for a few weeks before I realised that if I keep going on, I wouldn’t be able to stop. I had to become comfortable in my own skin in order to get the confidence I used to have back, so I changed my lifestyle a bit and got myself back to the gym.

I was strong enough to know that what I was doing was bad for me, and luckily for me I knew when to stop, but for those of you who are unfamiliar with the illness; bulimia is an obsession with weight that harms a person’s well-being. Although we all worry about our weight sometimes, people who have an eating disorder go to extremes to keep from gaining weight.

Doctors say that they don’t know exactly what causes bulimia, but possible causes include feeling stressed out or upset about something in your life, or feeling like you need to be “in control.” It doesn’t help either that society puts a lot of pressure on people to be thin, and it’s this pressure that can often be a big contributing factor.

I know I only had myself to lean on for support, but I was strong enough to get myself out of that situation, and my advice to anyone who is battling with their weight, or any eating disorder should speak to someone they trust, their family and have individual counselling as talking about your feelings about your weight and problems in your life is helpful.

The New Me…

Obviously that was several months ago and I am completely back to my old self now thank goodness, but never think that you can‘t get there too!

I have been training and getting myself into shape recently as I have landed myself a Movie role which I am absolutely thrilled about, I cant disclose too much information just yet but the role is raunchy and glamorous so its time to ditch the pizzas and chips and get myself fit!

I have been doing some serious Boxing and UFC-style training and I can see the benefits in just a few short weeks! So, ladies, If you keep saying those all famous words ‘ ill start tomorrow’ or still haven’t blown the cobwebs off your gym shoes, dust them off and spend some of your hard earned time and money on a personal trainer. It will be money well spent I promise you that.

Before I entered the house, I trained with Mike Heatlie for a few months (Gwen Stefani’s Trainer) who actually has a personal training gym in Edinburgh and I can honestly say that he is, without a doubt, the best trainer around. I know how it feels to spend five minutes on the treadmill and say ‘Okay that’s enough’ or just go to the gym so you can use the sun beds or the sauna! But if you get yourself a trainer, it will give you the determination and encouragement you need to keep going and you will see results in just a few weeks with the right diet. To this day I still remember all the useful diet and exercise information that Mike gave me so it is definitely worth it!

If you are thinking about losing weight or feeling like you need to – Only change your body for you! No one else. Feeling confident comes from within! I always used to try to be ‘perfect’ but now I know there is no such thing! We are all beautiful in our own way!

If you lovely ladies would like any advice or just want to tweet me, I would love to hear from you on my official twitter http://www.twitter.com/@mskarlyashworth

K.x

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Jon Venables : The Debate

Over the past week or so, there’s been no escaping the reports that child killer Jon Venables has been sent back to prison for an unknown offence, and after rather lengthy debates here in the FemaleFirst office, we’d like to get to know your thoughts.

The situation is this, we’re discussing whether or not Venables’ new identity should be revealed to the public, whether or not we deserve to know why he’s back behind bars, and finally, whether he should have ever been let out of prison in the first place.

After he and Robert Thompson were convicted of the horrific murder of Jamie Bulger back in 1993 they were sent to a child’s prison where they served 10 years before being handed new identities and set free back into society.

Now, a lot of people were outraged that they were free to live happy lives without ever serving a day in adult prison and with minimal risk of ever having their past come back to haunt them, but at the same time, couldn’t it be argued that they had served their time and should be allowed to get on with their lives now?

What’s more, what would the ‘unveiling’ of the boys new identities do to serve the public except fire up some vigilantes looking for blood? Had we identified these two men, they would have probably been dead within a week… but at the same time, would it have stopped Jon Venables latest crime?

The main problem here has to be, who assessed the boys in the first place and said they were mentally safe to leave prison? Surely in the weeks and months leading up to their release someone should have assessed their mental state and decided whether or not they would pose a threat to the community? If we’re going to point the finger today, shouldn’t it have been at the medical professional who ultimately sanctioned letting him out to reoffend?

So, whilst some may argue that we should be told what Jon Venables has done this time as it is in the public interest, what good would that do us as we don’t know what he looks like? You can no the crime but not the face, or the face but not the crime, without the two you could never get any kind of justice.

What’s more, if Jon Venables was exposed, he would never have a chance at a fair trial – despite the fact that all previous criminal convictions should play no part in ANY trial – and to be honest with you, anyone standing trial in the next few months who could even be suspected of being Venables  would probably be subjected to a one-sided almost unwinnable battle.

I know we could argue that this is everything he deserves (and much more) after all he did to little Jamie, but at the same time, don’t we have a justice system in place for a reason? If we go by the rules of ‘an eye for an eye’ we would live in a society run by vigilantes.

In all, we know that Venables has been recalled to prison on suspicion that he has broken the terms of his licence, and that he may be prosecuted for an undisclosed offence, but regardless of his past, this procedure must be allowed to be followed through correctly without the danger that press speculation will lead to an unfair trial, a mistrial or at worse no trial at all.

Jack Straw is correct in saying that justice will be served only if Venables is given a proper trial for any new crime, and not effectively retried for a crime he previously committed and has already served a sentence for.

But as the people what do you make of it all, should we expose Venebles’ new identity or would he be dead within 24 hours? Do we have any right to know the details of his latest crime, or would it just lead to anyone on trial for similar offences being ‘identified’ as Jon Venables? And finally, should he have ever been let out of prison in the first place?

Thanks for reading and feel free to share your constructive options with me…

Ruth.x

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Karly On University, Same Sex Marriage and Cheryl Cole

Hey guys,

Well I’ve had a rather exciting week this week, I would say its been a real eye opener to be honest with you… I was up at the University, interviewing students on their views on same sex marriage and boy did they have an opinion!

Going into the uni grounds, the atmosphere was amazing, all of the new first years were getting acquainted with the beginnings of the next few chapters of their life – it actually made me consider going back to University for a second! I would encourage anyone to learn as much as they can, after all, you can never know too much!

So in the midst of all the buzzing bodies, stands and backpacks, two protesters stand out from the crowd – one guy on one side protesting that same sex marriage is wrong and that it is a sin in the bible and God did not make us that way – a very religious view, and then on the other side arguing the view that same sex marriage should be legalized, and that love knows no ends, no matter what sex you are!

It was amazing to see the two opposing sides tug students either way for a vote. My experience on Big Brother really opened my eyes (the majority of the contestants being Gay or Bisexual) for me – Love is unstoppable, no matter what sex you are. I have a lot of Gay friends and they are wonderful people- I would never look at them any differently just because of what sex they are attracted to!

Speaking of Marriage – I’m sure you lot have all been caught up in the Cheryl and Ashley Cole media frenzy – I completely sympathise with her as I had to find out my partner had cheated through a newspaper article too.

My personal opinion; Marriage is for life, its something beautiful you share with someone who you are more than willing to commit to for the rest of your life, your companion, lover, friend. Your everything.

I once quoted “Any time in a relationship after one cheats is a waste of time” and I say good on Cheryl for leaving him! I’m sure woman the world over can sympathise with me when I say that being cheated on is the most hurtful thing to have to go through, and it is so hard to get over.

Being in a public relationship does add pressure I have to admit, I remember doing simple things like doing the weekly shop used to get me down because everyone wanted to listen to the conversation we were having amongst ourselves, or peering over to see what we were buying, I genuinely couldn’t be myself in public as I was always aware that my private life was on show.

But I’d encourage all you woman who are in this situation to stay strong, move forward and never look back. As hard as it is to leave a cheating man, take it from me, once you have taken that first step, you will find yourself again and never look back.

‘Men jumping from lady to lady might seem powerful… But actually it’s a weakness’

If there is any issue you would like me to blog about – you lovely ladies can follow me on my official twitter www.twitter.com/mskarlyashworth, I’ll look forward to hearing your tweets!

Take care,
Karly.xx

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Meet FemaleFirst’s New Columnist…. Karly Ashworth!

Hello FemaleFirst readers,

Wow, where to start… I guess the majority will know me as the ‘Scottish Lass’ from Big Brother 10 last year, and here I am. Back to share with you my tales, travels and to let you all know what I have been getting up to since that explosive experience!

‘What did you do before Big Brother?’ many people ask; I found myself growing up in a small Scottish town, No glamour, no glitz. I suppose just living a normal life. I had a job, a car, and lived with my family. Just a normal down to earth normal girl with dreams and hopes like everyone else.

After dreaming of being successful in the modelling industry, and becoming ever tired of doing the same mundane routine, I decided to go after what I wanted, and at that moment, believed no dream was too big. I was forever doing modelling shoots, small jobs but never getting anywhere, nothing paying off. I didn’t give up! I finally got my lucky break with my debut in FHM magazine and with the Big Brother 10 auditions just around the corner, I decided I had nothing to loose!

Determination is the key, as well as the belief that women are strong and can achieve whatever they want… never giving up got me to where I am today and I am very proud of that. I came from nothing and achieved what I once never thought was possible, and I’m sure you can too.

To talk about what I’m doing now, I’ve always had strong views on Women Rights and Domestic Violence, all these views were often overshadowed by the interest the press took in my personal life – If you guys remember I dated Kenneth Tong whilst I was on the show – We have since split ( I left him in December) and am now doing what I always should have – focusing on myself and my career!

It was once quoted ‘ You always have to look after number one’  – Karly Ashworth. And after a roller coaster experience I can honestly say that is true. Keeping on the right track, going after what you want in life and never letting anyone or anything stand in your way.

So, after a few blazing articles in the Scottish press about my split with Kenneth, and my usual determination to chase success, I’ve decided to take the bull by the horns, and am now pursuing my modelling career abroad!! I am very excited to now be sharing the next important chapter of my life with you all!

Let the blogging begin!

Karly. xx

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