Weight always seems to be an issue people struggle with. Regardless of whether its to loose, gain or stay the same, our body image is becoming increasingly important as the need to be ‘picture perfect’ continues. With constant reminders of skinny celebs, models and movie stars. I find myself asking, ‘Do we even know what perfect is?’

I think its important for me now to be completely honest and say now that I did, very recently, suffer in a small part, from bulimia. Whilst it’s no excuse, a controlling relationship, instant fame, photo shoots and the pressure to have the figure that every young girl would want is mostly to blame for this.

Before, during and after Big Brother I was fine, I never battled with my weight and had always had been content with my figure, however a few months after leaving the Big Brother house, I would find myself always eating out in the nicest restaurants’, but yet it seemed so dark. I felt I often needed to eat as I was the one being taken out for dinner, and without wanting to be rude, I would eat the food in front of me, but was always conscious of how unhealthy what I was eating was. Lets be honest, who can eat out every day and night and stay thin!

I would often (but not always) find I would excuse myself form the table and go to the bathroom to throw up. I know this is graphic but for the sake of other girls suffering the same, I think its extremely important for me to speak out, and take criticism if I need to, and help others!

Looking back I know now that this was unhealthy, but at the time I remember all that was going through my head was ‘I need to stay thin’  and being away from my friends and family at the time, I had no one for support but myself.

This blog will most likely be the first time my closest friends and family will even know about this, and the majority of the time, sufferers don’t want to upset their loved ones by telling them about their illness, but I am confident enough to share it with them now as well as anyone else who wants to listen.

With something like this, it’s very much a case of mind over matter, I only remember battling with this for a few weeks before I realised that if I keep going on, I wouldn’t be able to stop. I had to become comfortable in my own skin in order to get the confidence I used to have back, so I changed my lifestyle a bit and got myself back to the gym.

I was strong enough to know that what I was doing was bad for me, and luckily for me I knew when to stop, but for those of you who are unfamiliar with the illness; bulimia is an obsession with weight that harms a person’s well-being. Although we all worry about our weight sometimes, people who have an eating disorder go to extremes to keep from gaining weight.

Doctors say that they don’t know exactly what causes bulimia, but possible causes include feeling stressed out or upset about something in your life, or feeling like you need to be “in control.” It doesn’t help either that society puts a lot of pressure on people to be thin, and it’s this pressure that can often be a big contributing factor.

I know I only had myself to lean on for support, but I was strong enough to get myself out of that situation, and my advice to anyone who is battling with their weight, or any eating disorder should speak to someone they trust, their family and have individual counselling as talking about your feelings about your weight and problems in your life is helpful.

The New Me…

Obviously that was several months ago and I am completely back to my old self now thank goodness, but never think that you can‘t get there too!

I have been training and getting myself into shape recently as I have landed myself a Movie role which I am absolutely thrilled about, I cant disclose too much information just yet but the role is raunchy and glamorous so its time to ditch the pizzas and chips and get myself fit!

I have been doing some serious Boxing and UFC-style training and I can see the benefits in just a few short weeks! So, ladies, If you keep saying those all famous words ‘ ill start tomorrow’ or still haven’t blown the cobwebs off your gym shoes, dust them off and spend some of your hard earned time and money on a personal trainer. It will be money well spent I promise you that.

Before I entered the house, I trained with Mike Heatlie for a few months (Gwen Stefani’s Trainer) who actually has a personal training gym in Edinburgh and I can honestly say that he is, without a doubt, the best trainer around. I know how it feels to spend five minutes on the treadmill and say ‘Okay that’s enough’ or just go to the gym so you can use the sun beds or the sauna! But if you get yourself a trainer, it will give you the determination and encouragement you need to keep going and you will see results in just a few weeks with the right diet. To this day I still remember all the useful diet and exercise information that Mike gave me so it is definitely worth it!

If you are thinking about losing weight or feeling like you need to – Only change your body for you! No one else. Feeling confident comes from within! I always used to try to be ‘perfect’ but now I know there is no such thing! We are all beautiful in our own way!

If you lovely ladies would like any advice or just want to tweet me, I would love to hear from you on my official twitter http://www.twitter.com/@mskarlyashworth

K.x