The worst thing about a break up is telling people. I hate going out and having people ask ‘Where’s your boyfriend?’ I suppose that’s one good thing about Facebook. At least when your status changes, most people find out that two has become one (not in the awesome Spice Girls way) and you avoid the bursting-into-tears-on-the-dance-floor debacle.
I recently broke up with my boyfriend. A sad time in anyone’s life. It’s rough because this person – who was such a huge part of your life – is no longer around, it’s almost as though there is a void in your day-to-day activity. Who am I going to sneakily text at work? Who’s going to meet me off the tube and spend the night watching movies and eating crappy food with me? Surely there’s someone out there who wants to spend time with me?
Last night, my Facebook status update read: Dahlia went from being ‘in a relationship’ to ‘single’ and for some reason, having this emblazoned across my profile acts as a beacon of ‘booty’ to all the sleazes on my friends list. I received messages from guys I barely even talk to with the transparent opener; ‘OH NO, what happened?!’
I’m pretty sure the direct translation is; ‘Do you need re-bound sex?’
But I’ll have to confront my girl to douche dictionary on that one.
Ordinarily, I would probably have begun texting one of these miscreants in an attempt to fill the space my boyfriend had just vacated (not that space, you dirty minds!) only to find that I have been rejected again because, two weeks down the line, he’s realised he won’t be sleeping with me. But now, after enlisting the help of my friends, literature, websites and movies, I’m going to play these guys at their own game.
PROJECT 1: Taming the ‘player.’
