Engagement Ring Question(Ladies please help!)

[dmjg]

Hello,

I have a problem. Here is the deal. My girlfriend and I have been talking about getting married for several months. She went with me and we picked a diamond together and she had a setting that she loved. I put money down on the ring with her there.

Now, about two weeks ago I called to make sure they were going to set the diamond and size the ring. I wanted it ready by friday Nov. 17th. I called early that morning planning to pick it up during the middle of the day.

It didn't seem as though it was ready. They told me it would be ready at 5pm. That sucked cause I had to drive into and out of Chicago during traffic hour. Anyhow, the ring looked beautiful in the store. I guess I didn't look close enough. The ring is 18K white gold and it is discolored on the inside... a little goldish... and on one spot on the outside. My girlfriend has large fingers(she's 8 1/4) and the ring doesn't seem to be sized right.

I have the ring and want to ask her so badly. I know she's anticipating e asking her. I wanted to ask this week, but I don't know what to do. I have this bad feeling in my mouth about the sales person that worked with me. I almost want to return the ring and go to a different store(the company has three locations) and get the ring from one of the other places. But she picked out the diamond with me, and it is a great diamond.

I don't know if I should ask her with the ring that doesn't seem to be sized right. Maybe I should wait for the ring to be sized right, which will take about a week probably. Or I could show her and not ask her and we can go about this together. I have a cute way to ask her to marry me in mind. I am excited to do it. I don't want to wait, I am almost positive the ring won't fit. I want it to fit when I ask.

Do I return the ring and go to the other store and get a salesperson and different diamond (possibly even better) and wait for that to be set and sized? Do I ask her with this ring and tell her that I would like to do that? Do I just get this one resized and wait it out? See, the other thing is we are planning to get married on Nov. 24th next year. I don't want to hold off on this engagement for too long. We need to make it official to get the planning really going officially.

Help me!!! What do i do? Thanks in advance!

[theo]

Why do you need a diamond ring to make your engagement official. It's not about the ring. It will never be about the ring - and if it is, then forget it. Maybe this is your first little test for each other. Just ask her.

But first take her to see Blood Diamond. Then explain how the jewelry store screwed up the ring and you wanted whatever ring you got her to be perfect - aesthetically and morally. And now you're just torn by the thought that you would present her with a ring that has such an evil, nonromantic history. Every time you saw it on her finger you would think of some African child who lost their hand to get this diamond to market. You have such respect and admiration for her that you didn't want to insult her with a diamond in the light of the conflict diamond/blood diamond revelations. Tell her the two of you should go look for a Canadian diamond where there will be no such bloody history.

Okay, that should buy you some time and you can still get engaged. Good luck.

Just wanted to add that this diamond shouldn't leave a bad taste in your mouth every time you look at it. I'm sure your girlfirned wouldn't want that. It's your money - go somewhere else.