I can't get over my ex-girlfriend

[WhyNow]

As I read more and more i can relate to all with a similar situation. My only difference is why now after almost 6 months of being apart and hating her for lying and trust issues I feel maybe I made the mistake
of breaking it off after 3 years and planing a future together. Previously she'd call and cry and say sorry, but never would I give her chance and just ignore her and go on with my life. So recentlly she calls out of the blue to see how I'm doing and she tells me she's finally happy and has boyfriend. My mouth drops and now I sit her wondering whether I made the right choice.

[pastlife]

MY QUESTION IS WHY DO I MISS HER SO MUCH!? My story is: I have been broken up for about 9 years. I have had no contact with my ex but she pops to my mind alot. It would be ok but she is married and I am married. I dont know if she thinks about me, but I know I would just like to speak to her once more. I dont think I want to be with her, but I sure do miss her alot! I dont know why I miss her so much but I just do. I thought of trying to get in touch with her but I wont let myself. My wife know all about because I can talk to my wife about anything.

Is there anyone who understands how I feel is the question, and if so will this last forever.

[Gerardo]

Hey man i know what your are going to a hard time but my ex girlfriend broke up with me after 8 months it has been 3 weeks sence we broke up and it has really been hard but i men she told me to stop calling her and talking to her but it has been 3 weeks and she is been talking to me and now she tells me she still loves and i love her and she wants me back but i am not sure i dont want to get my heart broken again but if you rally love this girl tell her what you feel write her a poem and send her flowers and stop heartin your self man if she wants to come back she will and if she dosent well move on man :

[MickMick]

As I read these situations that everyone has it makes me feel alot better to know that I am not the only one that feels like crap trying to get over my ex. It's already been 6 months after she broke up with me. We went out for 1 year and a week after our 1 year anniversary she decides to break up with me. At first i was sad and very depressed but she still said she loved me and wanted to be friends. As time went on, we would hang out sometimes and make love like we use to but then we got into an argument and things went downhill form there. I was beginning to feel alot better because i didnt make contact with her for about 3 months. but one day i decided to call her up and we talked and she told me she's seeing another guy. that moment she said that i felt my love for her all over again and i couldnt bare the agony and despair seeing her with someone else.My friends always said to get over her but its not like changing oil, its more like driving a stickshift car with i leg... it really hurts me, i would think about her constantly even though she hates me, i know ill never forget her. my best advice to help get over your ex is what evryone says in this subject. Break all contact with her. dont call her, dont email her, find other women, workout, eat 3 times a day. doing these things will help you feel better. We have got to move on with our lives and know that there are more women out there that we can meet. this is all i have to say and i pray for everyone that reads this it can help and I hope no one goes through this agony such as i did.

[guest23636]

my girlfriend broke up with me a month and a half ago,and we went out for 8 months?i cant get over her,i just cant....i love her so much and it hurts so so much...she has been great to me since then and being understanding and talked to me a few times....but i just cant do it,its killing me inside and all i wanna do is tell her all of this,phone her but i knwo that will only drive her further away...she was the love of my life and only ended it with me because i crowded her to much, which is understandable and ive realised it,she sed when we broke up she still loves me but she cant be with me because she has loads of other pressure from school and family, but the fact of the matter is i cant get over her...she was the love of my life and we often used to speak bout the future,i cry quite alot...she means everything to me and i cant forget about her....u can reply to this or whatever,but it jus feels good to write it down, like im talking to someone about it...because it hurts

[blknewbie]

Well me and my old girlfriend been to together for one year, we have been broken up for like a month and some change. It was funning but everybody knew that it was always me and my other. We did everything together open new door saw alot of things people are age never would of done. by the way I am 19 and she is 18. during a whole relationship we loved each other very deeply but she would always be back and forth with her feelings because there was some othetr boy she know for all her life before I even came into the picture that she liked and he liked her. Basically I stood by herside and let her be how she was. about a month ago we were broken over the same thing but this i couldnt take anymore so i broke it off. during are break up we still talk we still madfe love we did everything if we was still in a relationship but there was a new female who showed that she liked me and in return I showed that i liked her. I never told my ex at the tine this. My ex went to visit the boy she liked and they kissed when I found this out I was destroyed my heart was hurting I always was saying that I couldnt look at her the same. I never did anything with that other girl thats why was so mad in the first place. That sunday when we talk she decide she wanted to be in my life and again and thats what i want also. She found out about the other girl via checking my email. Now since then I cant get over her I recently found out she was talking to someone new i even saw the other man my heart was crushed . The problem is she want me to chase her while she does her thing. I cant do but i just dont know how to get her out of my mind and move on. She feels that I cheated on her I think differently. If anyone can help me out there and tell me what to do I am to youmg for this but I cant get her out of my mind.

[lost...]

my girlfriend and i were together for nearly 3 years. one day she told me she was moving out, needed space. we "dated" for a couple months after that but i always new she would come back. she didn't. one day she blindsided me by saying she was moving 300 miles away. i told her we would stay in contact to keep a chance for us in our future. that was 4 months ago. everytime i tell her i miss her on the phone she suddenly has something to do and gets off the phone. says its easier for her to avoid the stress. must be nice, i suffer all day and all she has to do is push a button and turn me off. i was 6 months away from asking her to marry me and she has successfully brought out the psycho in me. she never gave me a reason why she left, why we split, or why she now wont talk to me at all. i would call her all the time to try to find out what was wrong and fix it. but she wouldn't even tell me. i was gonna marry this girl......now i'll never talk to her again....and i don't even know what happened.........how do you start your life all over again?

[LoveHurts]

i have been through a similar experience to many of those mentioned above, right now im not sure if she likes another guy or not, i still miss her and i love her very much, do any of you guys have MSN or anything? we could console eachother, lol...

[confusednfkedup]

im sorry mto hear uv been thro pain mate, but i have to say in your case, actuions spk louder than words. shes gettin married and you are only offerin to get rid of your parents. iv been down for a week and finally realised women dont want someone who is down, weak and upset, yet uv gotta say 2 urself im not livin this life, get a backbone and get urself out there show her what shes missin, cus if u dont u will never ever get over her!!!

have a glance at my post on http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/board/post-76649.html#76649

and read what iv put.. i hope u dont think im a total dick but sometimes we just need a reality check to kick our brains into gear!

[college guy]

Throwing my situation out there for all to feel a little better. I dated a girl long distance that I had known since I was 4 for the first three years of college. Long distance dating bores someone into your mind like no other relationship can because you feel you are still with the person even when you don't see her for several months.
Over the summer, I came home for two weeks to hear her say that she wanted a two month break...no talking, writing, anything. BUT she still wanted to have a "good time" while I was back. So we had the good time and I went into my senior year of college feeling a little peeved about the two month rule, but willing to go with it because I thought she needed it to grow.
Well, she grew. Before I came home for Thanksgiving, she called to let me know that she was dating someone that she really likes a lot. And yet the odd thing is that she still wanted to hang out with me every single day during break. I tried it and didn't really enjoy spending time with her anymore because (and this may be universally true) she had pigeon-holed me as someone she wanted to keep around as a backup.
Christmas break started to shape up the same way. So I am about to go over and tell her that she and I shouldn't see each other even as friends anymore. That is my advice to everyone...have a clean break even if it means cutting off one of your own limbs. As soon as you are on the "needy" end of the relationship, it isn't going to come back and you won't be able to impress her. Follow your own life's path.

Best of luck to all!

[Lovehurts]

Sorry to hear about your experience and hope you can heal your pain with time and trying to move on. I had a girlfriend for nearly 5 years. She was my first and I feel at the moment like she will be my last. She was the most friendly, and loving person I met. I know on myn part I didnt treat her as well as I could have and blame myself for us splitting up. I know that it was not all my fault. She would always get jelous over me talking to another girl even though it was not flirting. She always hated me doing it that it made me stop talking to some girls and loosing friendships with them. I didnt want to hurt her so I tried not to talk to them.

Well, she started going to university where she met this guy on her course who was apparantly a friend, and like I did sometimes, I got jelous about him, but never thought anything would happen. I found out that he sent her a bday card saying with all my love written inside. Now I told her that this wasnt him being a friend. To cut the story short, I causght him at her house one night and nearly knowcked the guy out after seeing him kiss her. Now we had problems but I didnt think it had got as bad this. After that I asked her to think about our relationship, but found out she had been holding hands and kissing him around uni, after she promised me she would think about us. Well after that we split up. I felt angry, upset, and depressed. Its been nearly six weeks since we split and it still hurts me.

I know I have to move on but dont know how. I want to talk to her but sge dosnt want to. I have managed to get a couple of emails from her after telling her what she has done to me. She says she feels bad about the state I am in. I feel better that we have talked, and I want her back, but know it will never happen. I would treat her twenty times better if we ever did get back together. I think she is confused and needs time, but she didnt give herself time to get over me before starting another relationship. He isnt intersted in a relationship, just sex I think. She isnt a slag and dont think she would do that with him. It hurts me thinking of her with him.

The way I found of getting the hurt to start going away is think that there is someone else out there for you, and it will take time, but you will meet them. Maybe you wont think they will be as good as your last partner but you will probably find out they are better. Just get on with your life, and if she comes back then its a bonus, but its not worth letting your health suffer over this. Spend time with friends and family. Read experiences like this forum to remind you that you are not alonein the world. There are plenty of guys hurting like you. We can get over it guys, just do what feels right in your heart to make yourself feel better, but dont upset your ex by bugging her, and treat your next partner with more love and care than you have anyone else.

[Lovehurts]

After reading more of this forum, it is very good advice to not mess your head up anymore by trying to contact her as you would just be holding on and it will mess you up again. Try not to visit places she goes and try to not think about her all the time. I know this is hard to do, but try to do something to take your mind off her. Your mind can get very confussed over what is best to do at the time. Your emotions are all over the place. I felt sleeping alot helped me but I just woke to a panic state of shock and it started all over again. Try to move on, talk to a fmily member about how you feel or a friend if you can. It makes me feel better to talk, and even writing down your experience of what happened can help.

GOD BE WITH YOU ALL AT THIS TOUGH TIME

[myfirstlove]

wow, it's great to hear that there are loads of us who think of our first love and whilst I haven't seen mine or heard from him in over ten years, i think of him alot and wonder if he thinks of me. The truth is I've never loved anyone like him and we were planning to get married but my parents forced me to reconsider and I haven't spoke to him since. I have tried to locate him but he is or was in the forces and trying to find him proved impossible so I got on with my life. You'd think time would get over the heartache and it is does in a way-but a part of me just wants a chance to feel the way he made me feel just one more time i loved him so much it broke my heart. When he went out of my life it was like a flame had been blown out. I'm married with kids now and I am content but as god is my judge I'll never forget. Love sucks..

[MickMick]

hey everyone I'm writing again on this forum just to hope I can help anyone in need of the suffering they're going through. about 3 weeks ago i saw my ex at college. I sat down near her but I didnt say anything to her. She was talking to her boyfriend because I heard her say "i love you too." At that moment, I took the pictures we had taken before and i threw it in her face. This may be pretty mean but it does relieve some stress in a way. i havent called her ever since, and im beginning to feel alot better. Even though I havent meant anyone else, I still feel there's a purpose in my life. I have my friends, my family, and my school. My advice to all is put the important things out first like what i listed. Your future is alot more important than grieving over your ex. Do what you can to fulfill your goals in life and when you do meet that other someone, do not take it for granted and cherish it. i know i've made many mistakes when I was going out with her and I regret them very much, i just hope for all of us we can have much better relationships in the future.
God bless everyone on the forum
-Micky

[hopeless_lover]

I just got out of a four year relationship ... I don't know how to move on without him but I know he wasn't good enough for me. I have experienced alot of the same things you all are feeling it is a very common life process. he is seeing someone right now and we have only been broken up for 2 months.... I have been best friends with him for 14 years...I am 19 now and of course like anyone I just feel lost. I have met some great people who tell me everyday how wonderful I am... somethign he never did... there are lots of things people will tell you that wont help unless you experience them..like time heals all wonds. Unfortunatly it is true. The longer I am without him the better I feel....and don't even try the "we can be good friends" thing until you know you don't need him as a boyfriend anymore. I tried that its not all its cracked up to be. All that does is bring you closer(so you think) and it only hurts more when he starts seeing someone else. be apart. separate yourself from him, his friends, his family ...until you are happy being alone with yourself. When your in a long relationship you tend to give all your time and energy to make this one person happy, so when they are gone, you feel like you have no purpose...until you realize that you are a special amazing person on your own, and that you can put that time and energy into making yourself happy...then and only then can you be friends with your ex and start new relationships. Don't fall into a rebound either because your only looking for what you had and you don't realize that your not really accepting this person as they are..thats not fair to either of you....time will heal just be patient.....If you love someone...let them go if they come back they were meant to be...if they don't they were never yours to begin with and you will be better for it.