Any Advice For My Shy Daughter?

[Winky89]

Im still at school now and we dont have to take showers after gym, but then not a lot of effort was ever put in by anyone. And I always shower once a day anyway so none of the sweatiness is there for long.

[Constance T]

We all have to do some things that make us uncomfortable at times in our lives.

Let's just hope that most teens have the maturity and common sense to realize that a post gym shower is important! I would especially think that the girls would put their personal hygiene ahead of silly nervousness?

[Guest]

How dare you make out as though they are immature and silly for not wanting to have a communal shower.

If it makes them so uncomfortable that it causes them problems then NO they shouldnt have to do it.

As for doing things that make us uncomfortable, yes, but not having a shower is'nt going to kill you.

On one hand you have them educating children that their bodies are sacred and they shouldn't have anyone make them do something to make them feel uncomfortable then we have fools like you saying that they are immature and silly if they dont like the idea of taking showers in the nude with their school friends.
Most adults would be apalled if their employers demanded that all staff took showers together.

A bit hypocritical I would say.

[Constance T]

Actually, yes, it is silly for a girl to fear being seen nude by other females. True, it may be common these days that some girls feel this way, but that doesn't change the fact that it is still silly to feel that way.

Back in the 40's, 50's and 60's there were far better morals in the world than there are now. Back then if you watched Gone With The wind you were shocked by the line "frankly my dear I don't give a damn." Back then we girls were modestly dressed, we didn't have pre-marital-sex, and we respected our parents and other authority figures.

And another thing we did was take a shower after gym class everyday no questions asked. It was just understood that it was important to do and no one complained. It was only other girls and we all had the same parts and we knew it was expected of us so we did it without giving it a second thought. No one was embarrassed by it, and we were just happy to get cleaned up. And yes, they were communal group showers.

My point of how much more moral we were back then is that we UNDERSTOOD that there wasn't anything sexual about it, it was just a darn shower not an orgy. From time to time our gym instructors even showered with us, these were grown and married women who were also teachers in health class and they too knew that there wasn't anything sexual about it, and there wasn't anything to be embarrassed about.

What I think is unfair is that there are people in this world who don't have clean water to drink much less bath in. There are women in some middle eastern countries who are forced to wear a berka at all times when they are in public. Those women have to sweat under that outfit that covers them from head to toe even though they are in extreme temperatures year round day after day. The people without water are filthy and even worse dying of thurst.

Go to some of those African nations where they barely have any water to drink, and what they do have is contaminated, and then tell them about the "poor" students in the western world who "have" to shower.

[Guest]

Actually, yes, it is silly for a girl to fear being seen nude by other females. True, it may be common these days that some girls feel this way, but that doesn't change the fact that it is still silly to feel that way.

You are just being silly yourself. Because you feel it's ok does not mean that others do.
if you are happy to parade your body around then feel free to do so but it shouldnt be forced on anyone.
Its a shower they are talking about not some life saving procedure. it will hurt no one to go without because they are uncomfortable with the situation.

[Constance T]

Trust me, I'm no exibitionist! But it is silly for anyone to be embarrassed to be nude in a locker room when their only in front of members of the same sex.

If you are not taught to be embarrassed you won't be embarrassed.

I don't know about you, but i have breasts just like every other woman, I have a vagina just like every other woman, and I have a bottocks just like every other human. Should we feel the need to hide our nose from other women? Should we feel the need to hide our ears from other women? Should we hide our ankles from other women?

Unless we are taught to be embarrassed there is nothing embarrising about showering and changing in a same sex locker room! I guess some people just need to get over themselves that they think that there body is so different? Maybe some people need to get their mind out of the gutter and realize that showering and changing in a same sex locker room is not sexual? If we should feel embarrassed and humiliated by showering and changing in a locker room among members OF THE SAME SEX then where do we draw the line? I'm definitely NOT taking about being nude in front of boys, and I'm not taking about some strip show, were taking about a simple shower after gym class?

[Guest]

But it is silly for anyone to be embarrassed to be nude in a locker room when their only in front of members of the same sex.

Get over yourself you arrogant woman.

You are talking about forcing people to do things they are NOT comfortable with. Once you get that through your head you might have some understanding.

Keep on gabbing away. I imagine that you are much the same in real life. One hell of a pain in the ass.

Who could be bothered with you any more?

[Constance T]

I think your lack of maturity in your posts toward me reflect on your lack of maturity on this issue!

[Diane Jensen]

I do have my own feelings on this topic, but I highly recomend to everyone on both sides of this debate to read a great article on the subject. Do a google search of the words "bathing beauties anna schnur-fishman."

This was a wonderful article written by a teenage girl about the topic of locker room showers and nudity. People on both sides of the issue will find it interesting.

Be sure to read both pages. You will see at the bottom of page 1 a 2 to click on for page 2. It will only take a few minutes to read.

Then please give me your feedback on the article.

[Guest]

I suffer from GAD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder; and when i was in high school i had severe anorexia. I was clearly body conscious and even when changing i used to change in a cubical. Part of our school uniform was a skirt and for gym. For gym i refused to wear a skirt and spent all my lunchtimes in the pe office being told off. I am the extreme, but what about the lesbians in the class. By 15, 1 in 10 girls think they are gay. You wouldn't make girls change with boys? If i knew that in my class 3 of the girls were gay i would have been even worse. I am not saying anything against lesbians, but teenage girls are self concious.
I was always pushed too hard and now i have mental health problems, have you noticed the number of body related mental health problems is steeply increasing. I mean Anorexia, Bulemia and SAD. Shyness is a personallity trait and i sure as hell think that if your daughter doesn't want to have a shower with the other girls, that is not your choice.

[Tamara B]

That was an excellent article by that young woman, kudos to her! It's nice to see that perhaps some teens are more mature than we some times give them credit for?

Good find, thanks!

[Guest]

I think your lack of maturity in your posts toward me reflect on your lack of maturity on this issue!

What you think is irrelevant. You have already shown that you are single minded!

[Guest]

In a perfect world then forcing girls into a communal naked shower together probably does have all kinds of wonderful benefits, including some of those listed by others here.

In the real world of many, there can be much cruelty and bullying. Especially amongst kids - and extra specially amongst teenage females (who seem so much better at "psycho bullying" than males).

To the bully, the forced naked shower is a wonderful weapon, a weapon of torture which can be used to inflict misery and harm over and over again. A weapon which can be used during the shower, and later. Later that day, and next day and next week and next month and even next year. And then there's next week shower, where the bully gets another go.

The bully doesn't tell the truth. They don't judge the reality of a body shape. They just pick some minor blemish or feature and make the maximum of it. To the victim wondering if their breasts are "too big" or "too small" the last thing they're going to get out of this situation is realism or objectivity.

So to the victims of such bullying there are no "benefits". They won't gain any realism about their bodies or bodies in general, they won't get any joy or learn anything wonderful. They just gain utter, unmitigated misery, hangups and sometimes much worse.

So, to all of you who want to sing the benefits - lovely. Brilliant points. Wonderulf thinking. Great. But until you address the reality of what happens when this wonderful idea of yours doesn't work out - then all you have is a misguided theory. A misguided theory which, in practice produces some modest benefits to some at the expense of horrendous cost to others.

And this is why it should be a matter of choice. Because you can't judge where and when the bullying and teasing is happening. You *don't* know. The bullies make F****** SURE you don't know - that's exactly how it works.

By giving the kids a say, you are giving them a defence - the means of taking themselves out of this particular nightmare. By denying them that say you, albeit unwittingly, become another ally of the bullies.

[Guest]

I have mixed emotions on the topic at hand. I thought I might mention an observation that I have made.
I attended a different high school than most of my girlfriends. I did not have to shower at school at any time. Most of my girlfriends did have to shower after P.E.
Now as adults I am unable to bring myself to shower at my health club whereas they are fine and dandy with the nude shower and nude locker room routine.
Do any of the rest of you feel that having showered in school has made it easier for you to shower and be nude in the ladies locker room at your health club?
Or has nothing changed over the years?
I always feel like the nude-prude when I'm at the health club with one of my girlfriends!
I've always wondered if it would have been easier for me to deal with being nude in the health club's ladies locker room if I had showered in school?

[MarieD]

I think it is absolutely crazy that Americans are forced into communal showers. In Ireland were are told to shower but we also so have cubicals so no one minds really.
I also find it quite disturbing that so many teachers stood watching girls showering; I think that is overstepping the mark. My teacher stodd in the changing room, but once we went into the showers we were granted our privacy.
The same goes for staff at swimming pools, while it is required to wash before entering the pool we have the options of cubicals or communal showers. AND no one watched you and asks you to wash naked in front of her.
I thought Americans were granted their basic human rights/ freedoms?