|
|
| Author |
Message |
coolman
FemaleFirst Guru
Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 6067
|
 Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 4:57 am Post subject: |
 |
|
It has been almost 3 months now. It would be interesting to know how this worked out. Did you? Of course you did.  |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
TheatreDiva
Hello. I am New! Talk to Me
Joined: 31 Jan 2008
Posts: 4
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 3:25 pm Post subject: Follow up |
|
|
Dear All,
Thank you for all the words of advice, I think I knew what most of you would say. Since this new 'friendship' began, I have thought long and hard about life and in particular my relationship with my husband.
I decided to try and work things out with him, so I raised a few issues that I felt needed to be dealt with, for example, not spending enough quality time together, the lack of sexual intimacy and general intimacy and passion between us. He seemed to listen and although he did not see there were problems to begin with he agreed that he would make more effort. Sadly this has not yet happened.
Some months have passed and while I try to be a good wife, I cook, clean and try to listen to him, and make the best of myself at all times  he still seems to prefer the company of his pc, bike, kayak, mates, in fact, anything but me.
So what of the leading man? Well, the theatre show took place two weeks ago. It was a great success, and many commented on our amazing chemistry! (chuckle) Over the last few months he and I have become very close friends. Outside of rehearsals we have regularly seen each other alone, we meet for coffee or drinks and talk for hours, finding solace in each others company. There are occasional passionate moments, but generally we just enjoy each others company as friends.
We are about to start working on another project together, so I don't see this ending any time soon, and as wrong as this may be, and as stupid as this may sound, I can't help thinking that this is actually helping my marriage.... as the fulfillment I get from my 'friendship' takes the pressure of the issues I have with my husband, which in a silly way helps us along. Of course this cannot go on forever, but for now I am happy. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Cambridge
FemaleFirst Grand Master (1000+ Posts)
Joined: 11 Mar 2008
Posts: 1273
|
| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 4:40 am Post subject: Re: Follow up |
|
|
| TheatreDiva wrote: |
Dear All,
Thank you for all the words of advice, I think I knew what most of you would say. Since this new 'friendship' began, I have thought long and hard about life and in particular my relationship with my husband.
I decided to try and work things out with him, so I raised a few issues that I felt needed to be dealt with, for example, not spending enough quality time together, the lack of sexual intimacy and general intimacy and passion between us. He seemed to listen and although he did not see there were problems to begin with he agreed that he would make more effort. Sadly this has not yet happened.
Some months have passed and while I try to be a good wife, I cook, clean and try to listen to him, and make the best of myself at all times he still seems to prefer the company of his pc, bike, kayak, mates, in fact, anything but me.
So what of the leading man? Well, the theatre show took place two weeks ago. It was a great success, and many commented on our amazing chemistry! (chuckle) Over the last few months he and I have become very close friends. Outside of rehearsals we have regularly seen each other alone, we meet for coffee or drinks and talk for hours, finding solace in each others company. There are occasional passionate moments, but generally we just enjoy each others company as friends.
We are about to start working on another project together, so I don't see this ending any time soon, and as wrong as this may be, and as stupid as this may sound, I can't help thinking that this is actually helping my marriage.... as the fulfillment I get from my 'friendship' takes the pressure of the issues I have with my husband, which in a silly way helps us along. Of course this cannot go on forever, but for now I am happy. |
Um…so, if this guy makes you feel so good, why not get a divorce and go with him? I've never done anything hesitantly, so that’s my style. But, I don’t see anything holding the two of you back. You’re dissatisfied with your marriage and not inclined to do anything about it; he’s apparently disenchanted with his wife. The two of you could be a match made in heaven. Go for it. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
coolman
FemaleFirst Guru
Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 6067
|
| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 7:31 am Post subject: Re: Follow up |
|
|
| TheatreDiva wrote: |
| There are occasional passionate moments, but generally we just enjoy each others company as friends. |
details! Did you or didn't you? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
MaxtheGaul
FemaleFirst Guru
Joined: 29 Jan 2005
Posts: 3475
Location: London
|
| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 8:46 am Post subject: |
|
|
| She did. Read between the lines! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
TheatreDiva
Hello. I am New! Talk to Me
Joined: 31 Jan 2008
Posts: 4
|
| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:07 am Post subject: Yes! |
|
|
The answer is yes. It happened last week in fact (and was very good!)
I must add that as suggested by a number of you I have spent a lot of time soul searching and I am still trying to make things work with my husband.
It's like banging my head against a brick wall, but I don't have any intention at this point of walking out. I think he is slowly understanding what I am complaining about ... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
coolman
FemaleFirst Guru
Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 6067
|
| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:12 am Post subject: Re: Yes! |
|
|
| TheatreDiva wrote: |
The answer is yes. It happened last week in fact (and was very good!)
|
good girl.  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Cambridge
FemaleFirst Grand Master (1000+ Posts)
Joined: 11 Mar 2008
Posts: 1273
|
| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 1:30 am Post subject: Re: Yes! |
|
|
| TheatreDiva wrote: |
The answer is yes. It happened last week in fact (and was very good!)
I must add that as suggested by a number of you I have spent a lot of time soul searching and I am still trying to make things work with my husband.
It's like banging my head against a brick wall, but I don't have any intention at this point of walking out. I think he is slowly understanding what I am complaining about ... |
So you’ve got a used car stuck in the mud and along comes a limousine, but you’re saying you are going to await the tow-truck? Try counseling.  Good luck, anyway. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
MaxtheGaul
FemaleFirst Guru
Joined: 29 Jan 2005
Posts: 3475
Location: London
|
| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 6:44 am Post subject: Re: Yes! |
|
|
| TheatreDiva wrote: |
| I must add that as suggested by a number of you I have spent a lot of time soul searching and I am still trying to make things work with my husband. |
I do think you should talk to him and explain that you have a bit one the side, take it slowly, and just lead him to an understanding by talking more about this guy. If he asks you if you've slept with him, whatever you do don't lie, but you could say something like "You know I want to" which helps give him time to adjust.
You may find your husband is more excited than distressed by this, and he will probably become much more sexually competitive. I doubt very much he will kick you out. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
TheatreDiva
Hello. I am New! Talk to Me
Joined: 31 Jan 2008
Posts: 4
|
| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 1:04 pm Post subject: Re: Yes! |
|
|
| Cambridge wrote: |
So you’ve got a used car stuck in the mud and along comes a limousine, but you’re saying you are going to await the tow-truck? Try counseling. Good luck, anyway. |
Nice analogy
You've hit the nail on the head there! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
splinkygb
FemaleFirst Chatter (200+ Posts)
Joined: 02 Sep 2006
Posts: 421
Location: Lancashire.
|
| Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 11:11 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Diva: Get laid and enjoy it! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Demode
FemaleFirst Newbie (20+ posts)
Joined: 26 Jan 2008
Posts: 35
|
| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 12:20 am Post subject: |
|
|
Passion, passion... everything is new. But don't you realize Diva - at the end it will turn into "he seems to prefer the company of his pc, bike, kayak, mates, in fact, anything but me."
Everyone is spendable. Even you. Even him. Even Angelina Jolie. You had "the F*** of the century". Leave it that way. And tell no one. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
mrtickle999
Hello. I am New! Talk to Me
Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Posts: 2
|
| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 3:56 pm Post subject: details |
|
|
Tell us all the juicy details.
Enquiring (and pervy) minds want to know  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
revCowgirl
FemaleFirst Chatter (200+ Posts)
Joined: 26 Jun 2008
Posts: 353
|
| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 4:02 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| how come when i do the same thing i get stomped and every one cheers her on? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Cambridge
FemaleFirst Grand Master (1000+ Posts)
Joined: 11 Mar 2008
Posts: 1273
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 12:50 am Post subject: |
|
|
| revCowgirl wrote: |
| how come when i do the same thing i get stomped and every one cheers her on? |
Where do you think her indecision is going to land her? You just won't hear about it, that's all. She hasn't anticipated the strategic defect in her inability to make a choice…and quickly. If you’re going to play this game, you’ve got to be a scorpion. Quick strike…take advantage of the results.
It's lovely on the upside...ugly on the downside. You're just remembering the downside of your own experience. Patience cowgirl...just watch.  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
Site Map
FAQ
Usergroups
Search
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
Register
My Profile Space
