"Regrets - I've had a few..."

by **friday13th** on Mon Jul 07, 2008 10:39 pm

What are your biggest relationship regrets? Do you have any one piece of advice about relationships to give to others? Let us knowww!

by **Cambridge** on Tue Jul 08, 2008 12:59 am

Work at it. It doesn't just fall down on you like rain.

by **honbuns** on Tue Jul 08, 2008 2:09 pm

Staying for far too long in marriage which was unhappy and which was very destructive for me, my ex and also my kids.

I do believe that you have to try but I stayed in that marriage far to long. This was partly because I had come to believe that no one else would want me and the thought of being alone was too scary, it was also because I felt bound by duty and sense of wanting to do the right thing.

With the benefit of hindsight I think we would all have been much happier if I had left many years before I did.

Not very positive I am afraid but you asked.

by **sugar&spice** on Tue Jul 08, 2008 2:28 pm

Not standing up for myself.

by **MaxtheGaul** on Wed Jul 09, 2008 12:18 am

Oh the girls I could have had.

And I felt I was being so virtuous, sad really.

Opportunities often only come once, do not be afraid, grasp them firmly with both hands when they do.

by **Cambridge** on Wed Jul 09, 2008 3:08 am

honbuns wrote:Staying for far too long in marriage which was unhappy and which was very destructive for me, my ex and also my kids.

I do believe that you have to try but I stayed in that marriage far to long. This was partly because I had come to believe that no one else would want me and the thought of being alone was too scary, it was also because I felt bound by duty and sense of wanting to do the right thing.

With the benefit of hindsight I think we would all have been much happier if I had left many years before I did.

Not very positive I am afraid but you asked.

I hear that. I had a collapse in my office when I was around 38. My wife listened to the HMO doctors who said there was nothing wrong with me. She went behind my back to the Church, in which I was an elder, and had them calling me to say there was nothing wrong with me.

Unfortunately, it turned out that there was something seriously wrong with the nerves in my back. It all came out in the end and we got a divorce. It was amicable. But, I envisioned what it would be like to live with her and be totally disabled. Not for me.

We are friends now, but I will never be dependent on her decision, thank God.

by **Fred75** on Wed Jul 09, 2008 1:15 pm

honbuns wrote:Staying for far too long in marriage which was unhappy and which was very destructive for me, my ex and also my kids.

Was your ex a drunkard or violent?
Was there abuse in the home?

Do you really think breaking up your children's home and having them kicked form one house to another like a football would have been better for them?

Do you really think them watching a parent move in with someone different and losing time with the parent, because of that, would have been better for them?

Do you think the children would have appreciated watching their parent raise new children full time while they only get their parent part time? (if a parent married another?)

by **honbuns** on Wed Jul 09, 2008 1:22 pm

As always fred, you comments are beyond the pale.

by **EmmyBee** on Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:22 pm

honbuns wrote:As always fred, you comments are beyond the pale.

The questions are needed its obvious he doesn't understand anything, because he is far too busy judgeing others who do him no harm. Bless.

by **FFFCaroline** on Thu Jul 10, 2008 1:44 am

Too confusing to a woman here

by **Cambridge** on Thu Jul 10, 2008 4:53 am

by **FFFCaroline** on Thu Jul 10, 2008 5:16 am

Too confusing to a woman on the thread...

by **honbuns** on Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:38 am

RE the above post - WTF

by **FFFCaroline** on Thu Jul 10, 2008 3:56 pm

honbuns wrote:RE the above post - WTF

Sorry about your WTF: I figured if you were confused about the second post, then the first one was a stumper too...

I did stipulate in my last post that it pertained to married couples or partners for life...One of the biggest problems in a relationship is the sexual closeness...With having this special closeness so many problems can be solved...This has been proven, but if a couple is not close to start and drift farther and farther apart, the fence gets higher and higher, and soon it is impossible to climb....It was a general statement, not for you...

I also stated my regrets in the first post..

So your "What The Fu*k" was just a part of what I was saying about life...I am sorry it disturbed you....

by **honbuns** on Thu Jul 10, 2008 4:17 pm

I Was just very confused.

"Regrets - I've had a few..."

"Regrets - I've had a few..."

Re: "Regrets - I've had a few..."

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