Stupid or What

[feline]

Ok, last weekend, my boyfriend broke up with me over the phone. We had an argument the night before and it was pretty bad since I was overreacting to something and he was suffering from jetlag. During the conversation that morning,he was pretty cruel said a couple of things that really hurt me such as he was miserable the whole time we were together. I was really hurt and I spent the week going through shock, grief and anger. Well, I finally saw him last night when he came to drop off my stuff. We spent the next two and a half hours discussing our relationship. He did apologize for the things he said but appearently, he felt stiffled in our relationship and missed doing the things he enjoyed like golfing and mountain biking. So, he said he wanted a two month break from seeing me on the weekends so he can have some alone time and do the things he enjoy. We can still get together for dinner and talk on the weekdays because he said he still wants me and this relationship. I know he has been under alot of stress from work since he is a workaholic and the weekends are his only free time. Although we did spend alot of time together during the weekends, I have never demanded that we have to spend Friday through Sunday together and I have always told him that if he wanted to spend time golfing/biking, he just need to let me go. But he never did because he thought it would be mean to tell your girlfriend that you didn't want to spend time with her. Well, I told him that I would respect his wishes to have some alone time and try it out for one month and then we will see.... However, right now there's a part of me that telling me I am being stupid. He tells me he wants me and he wants this relationship but he needs two months of weekend alone time. Am I being stupid for agreeing to this

[sal*]

coming from a girl who would probably have done the same thing in your situation, I have to say you are a bit stupid for agreeing to it. I've done similar stupid things in the past and they got me nowhere. It's so much easier to see it from the outside looking in, isn't it?

He says he's been stifled but if he loves you and wants a relationship with you then he should never feel stifled. And regardless, he's done it to himself from what you say. He's the one that decided it was wrong to not see you every weekend. You haven't enforced this, he has. For him to now make you suffer for his mistake just isn't right. He sounds like he's being pretty selfish and trying to put blame where it doesn't belong. You know that you haven't insisted he be solely with you all the time so stand up for yourself and tell him that. And tell him that a relationship involves give and take not rules and regulations. What would it be like if you ever marry. 'Ok, you burnt the roast so you can't have any girl's nights out for one month'? Sheesh.

tell him that this is either a relationship or it's not. If it's a relationship then you work things out by compromise and communication not by casting blame and making demands. I think a simple agreement to cut back on some time spent together is sufficient. A simple deal that if he has other plans he just tells you and everyone will be happy. This thing of 'no weekends for 2 months' is just silliness!

If you discuss this with him make sure you don't argue about it. Just state your case and see how he feels. Tell him that you don't expect every second of his time but you don't want specific rules and boundaries to be set. You're both adults and there's no need for it as long as you respect each other. When he agrees then once in a while make some plans on a Fri or Sat night that don't include him. Go out with the girls and give him some unexpected time alone. I'll bet any money he'll be begging for you to stay home with him in about 2 weeks!

Good luck! I hope this advice is good advice.