My ex

by **Beckz1205** on Mon Jul 21, 2008 8:46 pm

ok, so I split with ex boyfriend a few months ago, and was totally devastated because i was in love with him (still am!) and I sort of lost it a bit and wrecked any chance of us having a friendship. I have recently been trying my hardest to rectify things between us. I do love him so much still and miss him and want him back but I would settle for us being friends because I want him to be part of my life. it kills me us not speaking. we used to get along really well and enjoyed each others company etc. He recently had a serious accident and i sent him a get well card and he seemed to appreciate it. but then things have gone down hill again, and he just ignores me all the time when i txt him. I dont know what I can do? I'm not very good with explaining how I am feeling and it usually makes things worse when I try. I just wanted some help on the situation. please. xx

by **jessp** on Mon Jul 21, 2008 9:15 pm

Maybe bide your time,wait a little longer before speaking to him.When he doesn't hear from you he might start to miss you and then be glad to hear from you.Try to keep yourself occupied,meet up with other friends.Good luck

by **Beckz1205** on Mon Jul 21, 2008 9:27 pm

i have tried that, I do go out at weekends, but dont enjoy myself. I'm just constantly thinking about him and wanting to see him. as stupid and as sad as that sounds

by **jessp** on Mon Jul 21, 2008 9:37 pm

Plan b!! Instead of texting,why not write telling him what you've said here.Explain that you want to remain friends and you're not going to put any pressure on him.You may feel better putting your thoughts into words.

by **Beckz1205** on Mon Jul 21, 2008 10:30 pm

i also tried that also when we broke up, trying to explain how i feel, but like i said im not very good with words, and he said that what I said had upset him but clammed up and said there was nothing to say about it. which upset me because I had kinda poured my heart out. we both were in love with each other and i refuse to believe any feelings he had for me have just disappeared

by **Cambridge** on Tue Jul 22, 2008 5:09 am

Beckz, you don’t give us very much to go on. You obviously have a history with this guy, yet your story begins with the breakup. Has it occurred to you that something that happened before the breakup might be affecting your relationship now? Or, are you just trying to avoid telling us about that part? If so, why? How can you enlist the aid of people you won’t confide in? Are you just trying to get mutual support and comfort, or do you really want help?

It’s pretty clear he has some attitude from something. Whence that attitude? How do you expect us to help you when you leave out the most important ingredients?

by **Verve** on Tue Jul 22, 2008 6:03 am

*Pulls up a chair and waits for answers to Cambridges questions*

by **tobinfest** on Tue Jul 22, 2008 10:11 am

Verve wrote:*Pulls up a chair and waits for answers to Cambridges questions*

Agreed. Now sitting on the couch next to Verve waiting for answers and more detail, necessary to be able to assist. Nice one, Verve and I like Cambridge's request.

by **Beckz1205** on Tue Jul 22, 2008 6:13 pm

sorry for the delay, have been at work. we broke up back in november last year because I was drunk and upset at a party and kissed an ex of mine who is a good friend. It meant nothing but I know i was in the wrong and I admitted it to him. things were quite ok between us after we broke up and we still talked civilly and he admitted that he missed me etc and wanted to try again so we got back together early jan this year. And honestly things were so much better. Then towards the end of march he ended it. He hasnt really spoke openly to me about why or how he was/is feeling etc. thats whats so confusing and making things hard

by **Verve** on Tue Jul 22, 2008 6:19 pm

Are you being honest with us entirely about the ex?

Did he ask you not to see him anymore and did you comply?

by **Beckz1205** on Tue Jul 22, 2008 6:31 pm

100% that is what happened. I never really saw the ex who was a friend anyways, that was the first time id seen him in a long time. I spent most of my time with the guy I just split with.

by **Verve** on Tue Jul 22, 2008 6:50 pm

Beckz1205 wrote:I never really saw the ex who was a friend anyways.........

Either you did or you didn't... Did you see him after the kiss?

by **Beckz1205** on Tue Jul 22, 2008 7:14 pm

nope i never saw him after the kiss.

by **Verve** on Tue Jul 22, 2008 7:31 pm

Well maybe he tried his best to look at you without thinking about your betrayal and couldn’t. What you can do if your willing is write him a letter and be honest with him about what your feeling. Let it all out that your hurt he ended it without giving you a head ups as to why. Apologize for the act… Ask that you wish to be friends at least and if you can come to an understanding, lets talk.

Some men do pretend things are great but have it in their mind that you will be dumped soon. You just don’t know it. He might also not want you to affect his current relationship by having you in his life. Still try to be there … get in where you fit in.

by **Beckz1205** on Tue Jul 22, 2008 7:50 pm

I did write to him in an email saying pretty much everything i felt i needed to say, i tried to put into words how i felt the best I could. I left him alone for a while like he asked, as partly because i needed time to try sort my head out too. But he txt my old phone number asking how i was and when i asked him why he had text me he denied it. and on another occasion recently when a friend of mine had passed away and i was upset etc he offered to come see me. is he just trying to mess with my head or something?

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