Fear of Commitment

[taxi]

Hi all, just found this site so first time posting.

The thing is I've just split with my partner of 4 years, I want to get married and hopefully have a family but he doesn't think he is the marrying type!! He has 2 children from previous relationships which he sees quite often - he was never married. He says he needs time to get his head together and maybe the time apart will help him see what he wants, absence makes the heart grow founder and all that.

But he keeps texting me and ringing me and then says sorry for wrecking my head. I don't know were I am with him. I told him I can't deal with him texting all the time as it's too hard. We always got on really well the odd row but sure that's normal. Tells me I'm his bestfriend and he's lost without me. Most people would love this in a marriage so what's putting him off? He wants to meet up over the weekend but I think he only has one thing on his mind and it's not going to change anything.

What shuld I do, use him to satisfy myself just this once or do I keep my distance........

Help

By the way we are both in our 30's

Do I meet him

[Fred75]

Move in with him
Don't get married.
Have babies.
Then he can abandon you like the last fool that spread her legs for him.

Better yet... marry him and bang out a few babies so his other kids get to see him live and raise the kids he really loves FULL TIME!

[Verve]

You’re a woman in your 30's.... Well! Um honey you should know a few things about how this is going to turn out. It's not going to be pretty. Remember, when someone tells you who and what they are you should always believe them. "he doesn't think he is the marrying type!" says a great deal given the history. So if a woman who's in her 30's who is willing to have her hair messed up and sweat this weekend, go for it. Just don't be angry when you’re left by your lonesome. If you can do it and have no emotions go for it. If not, please put that nickel between your thighs. Hold onto it tight. If you can’t even do that then the answer is no. You decline the invite.

[noodles]

Hi all, just found this site so first time posting.

The thing is I've just split with my partner of 4 years, I want to get married and hopefully have a family but he doesn't think he is the marrying type!! He has 2 children from previous relationships which he sees quite often - he was never married. He says he needs time to get his head together and maybe the time apart will help him see what he wants, absence makes the heart grow founder and all that.

But he keeps texting me and ringing me and then says sorry for wrecking my head. I don't know were I am with him. I told him I can't deal with him texting all the time as it's too hard. We always got on really well the odd row but sure that's normal. Tells me I'm his bestfriend and he's lost without me. Most people would love this in a marriage so what's putting him off? He wants to meet up over the weekend but I think he only has one thing on his mind and it's not going to change anything.

What shuld I do, use him to satisfy myself just this once or do I keep my distance........

Help

By the way we are both in our 30's

Do I meet him

If a bloke said that he'd get lots of abuse.

[74jax]

If he says he's not the marrying type why is this so strange to you that you need a load of exclamations marks to get the point over? He's told you he doesn't want to get married, what's wrong with that? Loads of people don't. He's been tied down with kids before and didn't want the commitment, he's being honest. If he turned round tomorrow and changed his mind, wouldn't you feel just a little bit as though you'd pushed him into it? A relationship where one person wants more than the other only works for so long, and I learned that the hard way.