Crap Joke Thread

[Greg39]

What a lovely set of italics you have

[LittleMissSexy]

Charmer! I have more if you want to see


Anyway, back to the topic!

[Greg39]

yes please lms......

....c'mon Miss we're starting to fidget now......

[MissCharlie]

......and have you all been to the toilet *so loving the teacher role*

[Greg39]

......and have you all been to the toilet *so loving the teacher role*

erm no miss, would you take me?

[MissCharlie]

......and have you all been to the toilet *so loving the teacher role*

erm no miss, would you take me?

NO!!! I'm the joke teller

[Greg39]

I thought you were the teacher...hey ho....

All done! Carry on...............

[LittleMissSexy]

whispers to Greg...


"Does she have a big whip? I'm getting scared!"

[MissCharlie]

ok

So baby camel says " Dad What are these silly hooves for?
Daddy Camel " Son when you are in the desert, it helps to cross the sand"

Baby Camel says " Dad well ok what are these daft eye lashes for?"
Daddy Camel Says " Son, when you are in the desert, it helps to keep the sand from your eyes"

Baby Camel " Great, so Dad what are these big humps on my back for?"
Daddy Camel says "Son, when you are in the desert, we can store gallons of water"

Baby Camel thinks a while and then says "Dad why the F*** are we in the zoo"

[Greg39]

Whispers, I think she has a walnut whip

[Greg39]

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to economy because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."

The disgusted stewardess gets the No.1 (cabin crew boss) who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The head stewardess doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blonde is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the first officer to speak to her.

The pilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in economy. The stewardess asks the what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The pilot replies, "I told her the front half of the aircraft wasn't going to Jamaica."

[MissCharlie]

You may have uncorked my 'blonde' jokes repertoire, as I'm

Exceptionally bored :twisted:

Stand Back!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Greg39]

A blonde walks into a electronic store and asks the manager, "Can I buy that TV"

"No"

"Why not?"

"Because you're a blonde."

So the blonde goes out and dyes her hair red. She returned to the electronic store and said, "Can I buy that TV?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"You're a blonde."

So the blonde goes and shaves her hair off and returns to the electronic store and says, "Can I buy that TV?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"You're a blonde"

"How can you tell I'm a blonde, I dyed my hair red, then shaved it off!"

"Because that's not a TV, that's a microwave!"

[Greg39]

BLONDE: "Excuse me, what time is it right now?"

WOMAN: "It's 8:27PM."

BLONDE: (confused look on face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I've asked that question thirty times today, and every time someone gives me a different answer."

[MissCharlie]

Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole looking up.

A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing.

Paddy replied " We're supposed to be finding the height of this flagpole, but we don't have a ladder".

The blonde takes out an adjustable spanner from her bag, loosened a few bolts and lays the flagpole down. She gets a tape measure out of her pocket and anoounces that it was 18 feet and 6 inches, then she walks off.

Mick says to Paddy, "Isn't that just like a blonde!! We need the height and she gives us the bloody length!"