Sister wants my BF to wear his hair pinned up for

[HfH]

My BF has below shoulder length hair and loves it, and so do I. Both of us are part of the wedding party on my sisters side and she is getting married in six weeks.

My BF's hair has not been an issue until now, but I think she is being influenced by her future mother in law. Maybe this is a play to try and force him to cut it, but I don't want that and neither does he.

This past weekend she called me and said that she now wants him to wear his hair pinned up for the wedding. We had already agreed either a low ponytail or a braid (even a french braid) might look good (formal but not too femme). But now she says she is insisting on a tucked under FB so that it is "off his collar".

I feel really torn now. My BF is not happy about it. Netiher am I. But I don't want to pull out of the wedding either. My mom thinks my BF is being overly sensitive for not just agreeing to it and is in tears most of the time and is on my sisters side - saying its her wedding. I am in the middle as I feel disloyal to my BF if I side with my sis and mom, but my mom is beating on me too. I feel like if I/we back out now it could cause a serious family rift for the future.

Any suggestions?

Lisa

[Superjane]

That is one of the reasons I have grown to hate weddings (not marriages). Too much emphasis on show and less on substance. Your sister is only 50% of the wedding couple, what does the groom say? Your BF's hair is his affair. Why should he cut it for a wedding that isn't his. Superjane.

[serena881]

This is a tough one. I was recently a bride, and had ideas about how I wanted things to look, but my main concern was that everyone had a good time and was comfortable. Try talking to your sister and explaining that your BF would be more comfortable wearing it in a low ponytail, or whatever you had previously discussed.
If she is concerned about how his hair will look in the photographs, she could discuss it ahead of time with the photographer to let her know to make sure she's photographing him from the front to make his hair less of an issue.
One of my groomsmen showed up at the wedding wearing cowboy boots instead of the shoes that came with his tux. I thought it might happen, and while it was not exactly what I wanted, I wasn't about to let it upset me. Not only that, but the only people who noticed were my bridesmaids (who were a little uptight about those things).
Just try discussing it with her - she may compromise with you. But if she is adamant in her opinion, then your BF should try to make her happy - it is her day. It's only one day, and it's only hair.