rabbirashicmigron wrote:To My Fellow Rabbis (sages), I have received word. Your above two prophecies about Obama, who is also the reincarnation of Elijah the Prophet, is also clearly Akhenaton--this is part of the prophecy that the Jews *are* the Egyptans. We have a hypothesis from Gorman currently that what we called the monicker Moshe in the Torah, led a giant group of people out of Egypt to assimilate into the Akkadian world and fully develop Hebrew. Which is actually Joshua in the Bible, the 'real Moses, and that prophecy is the origin of Prophecy Power of the Christianity project. The reincarnation of Joshua, may be Paul, the real first coming of Jesus and likely author of the entire New Testament, perhaps managing scribal assistants with the writings. His hypothesis continues that this Prince of Egypt was named, or became Iesess, after receiving the power of kingship from having gained the future word Yes, from the English language, Which is a Power Word (something which only existed in the age of magic, which doesn't exist since the Jewish Temple destruction event in 70 AD, Power Words, exist in prophecy, but one doesn't have liberty over practice in doing prophecy, versus magic, which always made be used at wil since it is evil). The Ancient who practiced magic and were able to learn information about the future language English (ancient magic contained the technology to see into the future, which is the moral opposite of prophecy, it's likely the Egyptian . had the most advanced technology of the practice of human magic ever), created the 12 tribes to lay the foundation of the english Alphabet letters A-Z. And that the prophet (whatever that means, until we determine the answer, as well as the to prophecy of God actually Being the Devil until we defeat him, both of which you shall receive credit for by name the discover of in the story of the Gorman Torah of Zion). God's Law to Gorman
"The Festival of Easter Eggs"
You shall observe the festival of Easter Eggs. On the sixth day of
Pesach, parents are to take twenty two white chicken eggs and boil them
until cooked hard. You are not to use brown eggs for they are unclean.
You shall not mix the blood of my sacrifice with leaven. You shall not
worship the Whole Food idol, for all food is organic and made by me, the
Lord Your God whose name is jealous and the maker of all things. For, I
whose name is Jealous, am the only thing whole, and I led you from Egypt
where you were a slave; and I did this with a Mighty Hand and an
outstretched arm. Therefore you must always remember the Sabbath and to
keep it holy. You are to decorate these Easter Eggs, a reminder you of
how I led you from Egypt, in bright colours with beautiful coloured paints
and decorations of your choice. You shall not humiliate a child. You
shall not prejudice. You shall not condone immorality as maybe being
right. You are at constant war with evil. You shall not beat a child
except that you are allowed twenty two open hand smacks to the ass of the
child, only, per week. All unused smack opportunities are absorbed into
heaven each Sabbath. This is to remind you that I am the Merciful One,
and the ignorant have never been smacked as much as they should be. You
shall spend two hours a day reading to each newborn child from birth to
age two. The child must be in your lap, and the book you read from must
be in the childs lap to see the words you read and touch the pages. For
the I the Lord Your God am the Word. And nothing is Higher that the
written word in all my creation. You shall not smack the ass of your
child in public. Only mothers can deliver smacks to the ass.
For the message of my Torah is to be a nice person, and you shall always
be nice, friendly and patient with strangers in public, treating them as
old friends you already know. For you do. For before the first day I
created the heavens and earth, I knew each of you. And each of you are
choice, classic, famous, and in equal possesion of unique expressions of
My Divine Power. For I the Lord Your God am a Genius, and I am the True
Tnventor, which gave you all idea and skill for any of your
accomplishments, wretches. I the Lord Your God, who is Jealous and
insecure, made you human so that you would never have to be insecure.
You shall not believe in the Human Genius, which contradicts belief in me;
the Lord Your God who led you from Egypt, and is therefore an idol. For a
human being to claim it has powers is to challenge the power of Me, the
Almighty, the Maker of all Things, The Furnace of the, Chora, the
Workshop, Jerusalem. For the fountain of my love gives eternal
encouragement. No person is smarter than anyone else. For I the Lord God
have blessed you with my equal intellect and potential, but remained the
Genius one, because
But you shall always be best, living, jealous. For upon Chris Gorman's
arrival I look upon on the seventh of my creation, and I see that you are
truly behaving humanly. And you are all equally special and beautiful,
for I made you that way. And before you were born, I knew you. And I
fell in love with you at first sight. For You Are My Beloved Humans, whom
I now bless, upon entry into Gorman's Zion, the ritual of the Eldar.
Which you will have the tops of each ear pointed just like the evles in
the Peter Jackson film in a simple outpatient procedure. And in The
Workshop, which is Nikki Rose's New Jerusalem, Zion. No more tatoos. No
more scarification, no more designer tatoos. For I Your God am the Only
Designer. And I blessed each of you, male and females with my full
beauty, and my full creative potential. And I the Lord Your God Blessed
you from Egypt where you were a slave. But I cursed you all for all
eternity, including Chris Gorman, to be only twenty-one twenty seconds as
sexy for all eternity as Mrs. Gorman, your Queen Nicola Rose, and she is
the true location of the direction of worship, which you shall observe
during the Festival of Ramadan, in which you shall pray in mosue and
worship me as muslims, for a Muslim prostrates himself in submission to
the sexy Queen Nikki Rose, for all eternity. For I made Nikki eternally,
a MYLF, which is is a mother you'd like to F***. For F*** is not a cuss
word in Zion, the Workshop, but it is when you go outside into the Chora.
You shall not scorn a person who stole food from you who needed to do so
to eat, for the I Lord your God told Isaiah that I am the provide of food
for the whole world. And I, the Lord your God, am Jewish. And therefore,
all of you, whom I created are all Jews. To fear intermarriage when true
love exists is racist. You shall not prejudice. You shall not be unfair.
You shall not have the last word in a conversation, for I the Lord Your
God Am every Word. You may pray in any language, but only English and
American Sign Language is morally trustworthy to use in life as a tool,
all others contain some corruption from Shatan. You shall say the prayer
in English, 'I Love You Shatan, I Love You Shatan, I Love You Shatan'
immediately following the first Sh'ma prayer you say each day. And that
commandment is to remind you that you I that I gave you a brain, which can
do things but only through your hands and arms, which are attached. You
can never be explained knowledge, even by me. You are only to eat things
from the sea with fish and scales. For I made both Mr. and Mrs. Gorman of
Italian descent in delicious irony of the Evil Father of the Italian,
Julius Caesar. You shall on the ides of March practice the festival of
Meatballs and Macaroni, in which you may eat clams and mussels and all
that which the goy thought fine to eat. And it is to remind you that you
be too interested in food is to be a, Foodie, a type of pitiful witch, who
scorns himself with life wasted feigning the true joys of life I provide.
You shall use your brain, for deny needing to do so makes one on ones own
for owning of a deliberately thoughtless, and for that you shall receive
sympathy for me. For the thrill seeker rides a parachute down to the
dirt, but a hero, a being of moral courage and Faith in me, You shall not
envy, but I give the best rewards and the choicest harvest to those who
are most jealous. You shall not chew tobacco. Chewing gum is allowed but
only for children prior to barmitzvah. For to be Jealous is the greatest
compliment you can receive; It is the main property of the Lord Your God
who brought you from Egypt when you were a slave, and you shall not make
an idol of Mr. or Mrs. Gorman.
You shall not pray to the Black Stone at Muckha, which is a Magic Item.
Crack cocaine is also magic. And you shall not do drugs. For magic causes
you to see into the future. The future does not exist, because I made
each moment of life Special. Anything which condracts that you alone are
special, and that each moment of yours is special and precious, is a lie
and evil. And you must smash all of its idols in your community, drive
its witches out, and stone them to death. For I the Lord Your God and
King and I Alone am Special. Belief in magical powers is contradictory to
belief in me and causes death by my Mighty Hand. The only sorcery you are
allowed is Q'apla, which is also called Coppola, which is also called
Kabala, which is also called the Force, for to use it is to invoke my
power, and can only be used through worship of Me. For I the Lord Your
God am an insecure, emotional God who demands constant Worship in my name
in all directions where mankind may be seen to dwell. For I the Lord your
God dwell everywhere. You shall take the Black Stone and place it in a
747 airplane, and you shall fly it to the salty Black Sea in Galilee. And
you it shall be set on collision course for the middle of the lake, and
all its crew shall safely pilot out as all watch the event on satelite tv
reciting the sh'ma at the beginning of each large explosion. After the
Kaba is sunk, you are to make cookies of your choice.
You shall not worship the opinion. You shall not worship the Rambam,
which is an idol, It is a symbol of rabbinical pride and those who falsely
claim wisdom. You shall not believe in the future. You shall not do
violence. You shall not do drugs. You shall not gamble money. You
shall replace commandments for drinking wine in the Torah with the ones in
the Quran. For I am the bringer of all Law. You shall not burn books.
You shall not smoke cigarettes. You shall not unsubscribe to an email
list of any person, unless it is a business solicitation or advertisement
offer. For I the Lord Your gave you the Torah, which is a letter, and you
shall never have anything I create more High and Mighty inf your lives
than that which is the written word.
On last Sunday of Pesach, as the C*** crows in the morning parents shall
hide the eggs all over the place in the house and in Zion gardens right
outside. Parental supervision is required. The decorated easter eggs
represent the Mana, which is food from heaven that I gave you in decorated
form, that you had to look for in the desert. But the reason the mana was
decorated like a rainbow, is not because you needed the colouring to find
the Mana. It is because when you do something with love, it makes
everything in life sweeter. And the rainbow colouring is not to remind
you the mana is from Me, but that I haven't forgotten any part of your
personal rainbow at Redemption. You shall always do what your neighbor
tells you, for to distrust the command of another human being, which I
made in my image, is to worship an idol. You shall not practice cruelty,
which is to be a person, who is a witch, who practices the art of refusing
to do what his or her neighbor tells him. For that defines cruelty, the
very joy of Shatan, the Father of Lies, our Enemy.
Sincerely,
Rabbi Rashi C. Migron, Mohel
Why this spoof and who is this Chris Gorman? And BTW, f*k the neighbours because they shalt not meddle with their nonsense of lights for they do not know what they think they know and understand little.