Any Advice For My Shy Daughter?

[animallover15]

It's not the showering, it's the forcing of being naked in the presence of others....Why should anyone be forced into that situation??

If certain people are fine with it then let them parade around in front of everyone, for those who aren't they should NOT be forced to do it!!

[Katie Lansing]

I understand that it's the nudity that seems to be what some people have a hang up about, and if that bothers them I simpithise. It's just that I don't understand why anyone would be embarrassed by being nude in a locker room when it's only members of the same sex? Did the other girl's have different body parts? I have never tried to show off my naked body in an exibitionist way. But I also feel it silly to be bothered by other females seeing me nude either.

[animallover15]

That's a rather naiive way to look at it...Because you don't feel uncomfortable with it, how could anyone else be different??

Young women are renound for having issues with their bodies and I dont think being forced to have communal showers does them any favours whatsoever...I think the only other place that may occur would be the military!!

It's silly...What harm would it do to have shower stalls??

[noodles]

Totally agree animal lover. I wouldnt be told at 35 that i 'should' be ok taking my clothes off in front of others and I would afford 'anyone' else the same choice should they wish it. Just because someone is under the age of 16, it doesnt mean that they dont know how they're really feeling and should just do as they are told. Its 'their' naked body and they should be given a choice as whether to show it or not imo.

I sometimes think that adults cross the line in thinking that they are the be all and end of decision making for younger 'people'.

[Kevin Thomas]

I thought they mostly did away with mandatory showers in schools?
I graduated in 1993 and we never had mandatory showers at my school during my four years there.

I thought that I had heard that they did away with mandatory showers by the start of the 1980's?

Does anyone know when and if they stopped requiring kids to shower in school?

[Pamela Johnson]

Sorry for going a little off topic here.

But a perfect example of over-the-top shyness that I have noticed is that some women at the Y that I swim at will actually wear a swimsuit while showering after a swim.

Kids in school I somewhat understand being a little shy about showering in the nude, although even then I don't think it's that big of a deal either.

But for an adult woman to feel the need to wear a swimsuit into the shower after a swim is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen in my life

I'm a proud American But some of us American's can be so insanely prudish that it's ridiculous Women like them really need to grow up already I wonder what makes them feel so special that they think that they are so different from the rest of us

The funny thing is you don't even notice the women who take a real shower, in other words a nude shower, they just blend in. But it's these silly women in their swimsuits that stand out and make you have to laugh.

[noodles]

Sorry for going a little off topic here.

But a perfect example of over-the-top shyness that I have noticed is that some women at the Y that I swim at will actually wear a swimsuit while showering after a swim.

Kids in school I somewhat understand being a little shy about showering in the nude, although even then I don't think it's that big of a deal either.

But for an adult woman to feel the need to wear a swimsuit into the shower after a swim is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen in my life

I'm a proud American But some of us American's can be so insanely prudish that it's ridiculous Women like them really need to grow up already I wonder what makes them feel so special that they think that they are so different from the rest of us

The funny thing is you don't even notice the women who take a real shower, in other words a nude shower, they just blend in. But it's these silly women in their swimsuits that stand out and make you have to laugh.

It may appear ridiculous to you and you have a right to choose whats ok and not ok for YOU but i think deciding whats good for others is a more than a little judgemental and over-powering to be honest. You have no right to judge me or anyone else least of all add character traits to us.

My reasons for not wanting to be naked in front of others are personal and have absolutely nothing to do with you or anyone. Why you'd even care that id rather have an individual cubicle is beyond me.

My point was simply everyone (whatever age) should have the 'choice' to show thier bodies or not.

[noodles]

Sorry for going a little off topic here.

But a perfect example of over-the-top shyness that I have noticed is that some women at the Y that I swim at will actually wear a swimsuit while showering after a swim.

Kids in school I somewhat understand being a little shy about showering in the nude, although even then I don't think it's that big of a deal either.

But for an adult woman to feel the need to wear a swimsuit into the shower after a swim is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen in my life

I'm a proud American But some of us American's can be so insanely prudish that it's ridiculous Women like them really need to grow up already I wonder what makes them feel so special that they think that they are so different from the rest of us

The funny thing is you don't even notice the women who take a real shower, in other words a nude shower, they just blend in. But it's these silly women in their swimsuits that stand out and make you have to laugh.

It may appear ridiculous to you and you have a right to choose whats ok and not ok for YOU but i think deciding whats good for others is a more than a little judgemental and over-powering to be honest. You have no right to judge me or anyone else least of all add character traits to us.

My reasons for not wanting to be naked in front of others are personal and have absolutely nothing to do with you or anyone. Why you'd even care that id rather have an individual cubicle or want to wear a bathing suit is beyond me.

My point was simply everyone (whatever age) should have the 'choice' to show thier bodies or not.

[noodles]

what about a body concious child (or adult for that matter) who is this way because she's bullied (or has been in past) because of her weight/she has eating disorder/shes been or is bieng abused and therfore 'extremely' body concious/shes simply just uncomfortable with nudity.......................

who are you or anyone else to judge or even 'know' why someone feels this way!

[Guest]

Do you think that body conscious child is going to fair any better with the jokes about being smelly and nasty? There are a lot of things in life that make all of us uncomfortable at some point, but we end up doing them anyway, because it's how we get along in our daily lives. Kids showering in school happens to be one of them. Communal showers are cheaper to construct and maintain. All the extra walls, tile, grout, and cleaning materials do actually put in a bite to the school's annual budget, as will the labor cost for the custodial crews to labor on individual stalls.

What pissed me off about showering in front of others, was that my shampoo or soap would always get stolen. Every couple of days, I had to bring a new bar of soap in (the combination locks on our lockers were horrifically cheap). Boys and girls need to get over this painful shyness, and parents need to stop babying it. Most of the time, we conquer our fears by facing them!

[Kirsten]

Amen to the post before mine!

I, like almost every other student, showered in communal showers, and it never harmed me either.

I am grateful that we were able to shower after gym class, I hear that most schools these days do not even give the students enough time to shower after gym.

I myself would not have been able to shower though if we had had stalls because I'm highly claustrophobic and would have panicked in a stall.

So should I have had to deel with the humiliation of being one of the only girls who was not able to shower?

Hell no!

A body is a body is a body. The only fair way is to just have a mandatory rule that all students must shower after their gym class and that it's the same for everyone. I never saw anyone ever have a panic attack because they were showering in a communal shower. I on the other hand would have had endless panic attacks in a closed in shower stall.

If they just have all the students doing everything the same as every other student things run much smoother. Parents don't seem to object to school uniforms, so why should showers be any different?

I'll tell you this...when my daughter is in junior high and high school she had better be able to shower after her gym or the school will definitely be hearing from me!

[opalfruit]

Amen to the post before mine!

I, like almost every other student, showered in communal showers, and it never harmed me either.

I am grateful that we were able to shower after gym class, I hear that most schools these days do not even give the students enough time to shower after gym.

I myself would not have been able to shower though if we had had stalls because I'm highly claustrophobic and would have panicked in a stall.

So should I have had to deel with the humiliation of being one of the only girls who was not able to shower?

Hell no!

A body is a body is a body. The only fair way is to just have a mandatory rule that all students must shower after their gym class and that it's the same for everyone. I never saw anyone ever have a panic attack because they were showering in a communal shower. I on the other hand would have had endless panic attacks in a closed in shower stall.

If they just have all the students doing everything the same as every other student things run much smoother. Parents don't seem to object to school uniforms, so why should showers be any different?

I'll tell you this...when my daughter is in junior high and high school she had better be able to shower after her gym or the school will definitely be hearing from me!

totally see what you're sayin. my point is that kids should have a choice. just because a child is younger than an adult, id dont believe it gives the right to 'force' someone to do 'anything' with thier own bodies that they are uncomfortable with. maybe 'most' kids would chose communal - cool thats thier 'choice'.
i personallly wouldv been 'much' more comfortable with my own space to wash my own body.

[opalfruit]

Do you think that body conscious child is going to fair any better with the jokes about being smelly and nasty? There are a lot of things in life that make all of us uncomfortable at some point, but we end up doing them anyway, because it's how we get along in our daily lives. Kids showering in school happens to be one of them. Communal showers are cheaper to construct and maintain. All the extra walls, tile, grout, and cleaning materials do actually put in a bite to the school's annual budget, as will the labor cost for the custodial crews to labor on individual stalls.

What pissed me off about showering in front of others, was that my shampoo or soap would always get stolen. Every couple of days, I had to bring a new bar of soap in (the combination locks on our lockers were horrifically cheap). Boys and girls need to get over this painful shyness, and parents need to stop babying it. Most of the time, we conquer our fears by facing them!

See what you're saying too but i believe 'everyone' should have a right to privacy should they want/need it so from my perspective communal showers would be a good investment - and would last 'many' years.

[Madison M]

We have mandatory showers at my school. I'm a senior.
When I found out that we would have to shower naked in open showers I was like "we have to do what?"

However, like some of the others said you really do get used to it pretty quick.

My mother gave me really awesome advice, she was like "just be happy that you have good clean water in this country unlike many parts of the world, and be glad you don't have to wear a berka like women in middle-eastern countries." I guess she's right that in Africa and other parts of the world they don't have clean water to drink much less bath in so were blessed here in America, and at least we can be undressed in front of each other without having men make us cover every last bit of skin that we have?

Another good point that my mother made is that she said that we females have it better than the males because our most private part the vagina is still mostly not visible when were naked, but a guys thing is hanging out in clear site to anyone in the locker room.

[Guest]

Do you think that body conscious child is going to fair any better with the jokes about being smelly and nasty? There are a lot of things in life that make all of us uncomfortable at some point, but we end up doing them anyway, because it's how we get along in our daily lives. Kids showering in school happens to be one of them. Communal showers are cheaper to construct and maintain. All the extra walls, tile, grout, and cleaning materials do actually put in a bite to the school's annual budget, as will the labor cost for the custodial crews to labor on individual stalls.

What pissed me off about showering in front of others, was that my shampoo or soap would always get stolen. Every couple of days, I had to bring a new bar of soap in (the combination locks on our lockers were horrifically cheap). Boys and girls need to get over this painful shyness, and parents need to stop babying it. Most of the time, we conquer our fears by facing them!

See what you're saying too but i believe 'everyone' should have a right to privacy should they want/need it so from my perspective communal showers would be a good investment - and would last 'many' years.

Eventually, we must al leave home, get a job and work for what we get. We are forced to do it, even though it may not be what we want. If we wish to get by, we must work. I go to work everyday, wondering if htere is a better job out there, but happier than hell to have one at all. It pays pretty well, decent benes, but I still remember the care free days. The point of this, life forces us to do things that aren't exactly comfortable. The sooner we get conditioned to doing these things the better off we are. Communal showers for kids aren't harmful. They are just uncomfortable, at least until you have done it enough times that it is no longer a big deal. The very first time I had to shower in front of everyone wasn't comfortable, but I did it because I didn't want to stink and be ridiculed for it. When you were a child and your parents told you it was time for bed, did they give you a choice about it? When you had your first OB/GYN, did you have a choice on the pelvic exam? It may be uncomfortable, it certainly isn't private, or else you would be the one doing the exam, it MUST be done. The child will be stronger emotionally for it, and I strongly believe that.

Also, schools aren't giving enough time to shower adequately. It was a fast effort if youdidn't want to be late for the next class, but I was glad for the cool off and clean up time, and I'm sure my classmates were thankful that I showered too! I was a rank b***** after PE!