anyone NOT want children?

[TipsyDipsy]

People who have children lose all sense of the outside world and become so boring. All they do is go on and on and on about how their little precious threw up or shat itself....awww how cute (I think not). I never ever want to become one of those people.

That's why I still work part-time to keep me connected with the outside world and still have something interesting to talk about.
I've still kept my circle of friends and go out regularly.
My hubbie and I take it in turns to go out with our friends.
I always make a point not to talk about my daughter when I'm out unless asked how she is.
I don't see why you can't do both and still have a social life and be a mother.

[Guest]

People who have children become complete. They are in touch with their feelings. They are able to fully function as compassionate, empathic beings. By having children they come face to face with who they are. Like it or not, having children is natural.

As far as boredom is concerned, what is more boring than listening to someone talking endlessly about how wonderful they are? At least people with children are able to focus on something other than themselves.

[swee]

Huh? What's wrong with Mr. X wanting to have children? It's a pretty basic thing - it's not like he is demanding kinky sex or something.

No, I am just wondering how old he is, how long he's been with her and why he wants children - to feel complete? to have a mini-me? because it's the 'right' thing to do? I would get the girl dream then the child dream, he has it the other way round

People need to stop bringing children into the world for a few years and focus on the unwanted kids with no parents that are already here. The difference is 'mini-me'ness. If you want to impart your love and wisdom to a child, what's wrong with taking one out the system? But to breed is to carry on your gene pool - I don't understand the importance of that. Imo, it's pretty scary we keep overcrowding the world. There are so many children out there desperate for love whose own parents failed them; would anyone consider/does anyone already do fostering/adoption? Just curious.

[MR X]

Wow, What a response.

I guess you all need a bit more info to make things a bit clearer.

I am 34 and been with the girl for 5 months. I have always wanted children and believe it's important to make this clear quite early to a partner incase 2 or 3 years down the line, you may want differant things.

This subject was mentioned about 2 months into the relationship and although she said she has never wanted them, she would be prepared to have one if it was important to me. Initially I was happy but then thought she shouldn't have a baby to keep me happy, it should be because she wants one. Recently I got the news she doesn't was children and is not likely to.

Yes, I do love her for what she is and there is no guarantee I would have children with another partner so I have some tricky decisions to make.
There is nothing wrong with a man longing for children like many women do. I have been a step father to 3 kids and found the experience rewarding confirming my wishes to be a great father to kids of my own.

Thank you for all your comments.

[ali_mon_x]

Huh? What's wrong with Mr. X wanting to have children? It's a pretty basic thing - it's not like he is demanding kinky sex or something.

People need to stop bringing children into the world for a few years and focus on the unwanted kids with no parents that are already here. The difference is 'mini-me'ness. If you want to impart your love and wisdom to a child, what's wrong with taking one out the system? But to breed is to carry on your gene pool - I don't understand the importance of that. Imo, it's pretty scary we keep overcrowding the world. There are so many children out there desperate for love whose own parents failed them; would anyone consider/does anyone already do fostering/adoption? Just curious.

I agree. When my mum and dad first got married they fostered children, and I really respect them for doing that.

My boss is 40 years old and has polycistic ovaries. She has been trying for 10 years to have a baby with no luck at all. She recently got pregnant but lost the baby...I really don't understand why she's putting herself through so much heartbreak. Surely it's obvious that some women are just never meant to have kids (nature's way of controlling the population?)

[Guest]

Wow, What a response.

I guess you all need a bit more info to make things a bit clearer.

I am 34 and been with the girl for 5 months. I have always wanted children and believe it's important to make this clear quite early to a partner incase 2 or 3 years down the line, you may want differant things.

This subject was mentioned about 2 months into the relationship and although she said she has never wanted them, she would be prepared to have one if it was important to me. Initially I was happy but then thought she shouldn't have a baby to keep me happy, it should be because she wants one. Recently I got the news she doesn't was children and is not likely to.

Yes, I do love her for what she is and there is no guarantee I would have children with another partner so I have some tricky decisions to make.
There is nothing wrong with a man longing for children like many women do. I have been a step father to 3 kids and found the experience rewarding confirming my wishes to be a great father to kids of my own.

Thank you for all your comments.

2 months into the relationship and you're talking about kids already ? I think you have to live with a person atleast two or three years before even thinking about mentioning the prospect. No wonder many relationships with kids break up, people make huge decisions way too early.

[Guest]

People who have children become complete. They are in touch with their feelings. They are able to fully function as compassionate, empathic beings. By having children they come face to face with who they are.

Idealistically.

Like it or not, having children is natural.

As is not having children, some can't procreate.

As far as boredom is concerned, what is more boring than listening to someone talking endlessly about how wonderful they are? At least people with children are able to focus on something other than themselves.

Selfcentred people are to be found everywhere, with and without kids.

[MR X]

2 months before I asked if she wanted kids, not 2 months before we start trying. Why spend 3 years with someone and then find out they don't want kids. I think it's important to be open about these serious issues so you both know the score. Unfortunately I am now in the position of having to make a choice. Not easy.

Wow, What a response.

I guess you all need a bit more info to make things a bit clearer.

I am 34 and been with the girl for 5 months. I have always wanted children and believe it's important to make this clear quite early to a partner incase 2 or 3 years down the line, you may want differant things.

This subject was mentioned about 2 months into the relationship and although she said she has never wanted them, she would be prepared to have one if it was important to me. Initially I was happy but then thought she shouldn't have a baby to keep me happy, it should be because she wants one. Recently I got the news she doesn't was children and is not likely to.

Yes, I do love her for what she is and there is no guarantee I would have children with another partner so I have some tricky decisions to make.
There is nothing wrong with a man longing for children like many women do. I have been a step father to 3 kids and found the experience rewarding confirming my wishes to be a great father to kids of my own.

Thank you for all your comments.[/quote]

2 months into the relationship and you're talking about kids already ? I think you have to live with a person atleast two or three years before even thinking about mentioning the prospect. No wonder many relationships with kids break up, people make huge decisions way too early.[/quote]

[Guest]

Like it or not, having children is natural.

As is not having children, some can't procreate.

Some people have gynaecological problems which are only relieved by having children. For those women bearing children is a biological need. What do you suggest they do? Have hysterectomies?

[Guest]

Wow, What a response.

I guess you all need a bit more info to make things a bit clearer.

I am 34 and been with the girl for 5 months. I have always wanted children and believe it's important to make this clear quite early to a partner incase 2 or 3 years down the line, you may want differant things.

This subject was mentioned about 2 months into the relationship and although she said she has never wanted them, she would be prepared to have one if it was important to me. Initially I was happy but then thought she shouldn't have a baby to keep me happy, it should be because she wants one. Recently I got the news she doesn't was children and is not likely to.

Yes, I do love her for what she is and there is no guarantee I would have children with another partner so I have some tricky decisions to make.
There is nothing wrong with a man longing for children like many women do. I have been a step father to 3 kids and found the experience rewarding confirming my wishes to be a great father to kids of my own.

Thank you for all your comments.

2 months into the relationship and you're talking about kids already ? I think you have to live with a person atleast two or three years before even thinking about mentioning the prospect. No wonder many relationships with kids break up, people make huge decisions way too early.

what sense does it make to spend three years of your life with someone with the intention of more and one person doesn't even want kids and the other does? a waste of time for nothing. issues like that need to be cleared from the start of dating so both of you feel this is a relationship worth having

[MR X]

My thoughts exactly.

Issues like this have to be discussed early to save everyones time. If you can't talk about subjects like children openly, what's the point of being in the relationship. Too many people bury their heads in the sand because they are scared of being alone. We all need to find someone with the same dreams so we can share them together. God I sound like a soppy old sod!

[cyber]

Don't think my husband really wanted kids, I did ask him before we got married as i always wanted them, he agreed to it but i remember him saying he would marry the first person who came along as he was 24 at the time and scared of being left on the shelf, we've been married 23 years and have 3 kids 19, 15 and 10. I wouldn't be without them. It took me 18 months to conceive my first child, so i know how it feels when it doens't happen.
As for having someone to look after you in old age doesn't always work out anyway, something could happen in your family where the kids grow up and have their own life, we only give birth to them and shouldn't assume they will want to give up their life to look after their parents, as i heard someone say, i never asked to be born !!!!!

[Guest]

Huh? What's wrong with Mr. X wanting to have children? It's a pretty basic thing - it's not like he is demanding kinky sex or something.

No, I am just wondering how old he is, how long he's been with her and why he wants children - to feel complete? to have a mini-me? because it's the 'right' thing to do? I would get the girl dream then the child dream, he has it the other way round

People need to stop bringing children into the world for a few years and focus on the unwanted kids with no parents that are already here. The difference is 'mini-me'ness. If you want to impart your love and wisdom to a child, what's wrong with taking one out the system? But to breed is to


carry on your gene pool - I don't understand the importance of that.
Imo, it's pretty scary we keep overcrowding the world. There are so many children out there desperate for love whose own parents failed them; would anyone consider/does anyone already do fostering/adoption? Just curious.

I dont know how it is in the UK but in the US it cost around $30,000 and 2 years to adopt a baby. fostering kids is great but not so much for someone who wants a baby as most of the kids in the system are older meany with emotional problems becouse of what they have delt with in life. and even if you do foster a child that you want to adopt it is not that eazy becouse most parents have not lost permanent rights. Only about 20% of the US children in the foster care system are open for adoption.

[rubbish]

Like it or not, having children is natural.

As is not having children, some can't procreate.

Some people have gynaecological problems which are only relieved by having children. For those women bearing children is a biological need. What do you suggest they do? Have hysterectomies?

People need to have children to ease their gynaecological problems? What a load of old tish tosh (and what a selfish reason to have children!)

[Guest]

Like it or not, having children is natural.

As is not having children, some can't procreate.

Some people have gynaecological problems which are only relieved by having children. For those women bearing children is a biological need. What do you suggest they do? Have hysterectomies?

People need to have children to ease their gynaecological problems? What a load of old tish tosh (and what a selfish reason to have children!)

Biological FACT, dear. So "rubbish" right backatchya!