Babysitter giving bath

[gewoon]

The boys should be able to trust the girl in question. Likewise the girl should not have friends over and participate in the process unless they too are suitably mature about the situation. I have had a friend accompany me at times on babysitting jobs where the parents were going to be out later than usual (more of a concern when I too was younger). But I felt she was mature enough, so she would sometimes join us in the bathroom and even help out with baths. I did have a friend once ask me if she could tag along but I got the feeling that she was just interested in seeing boys naked in the bath, so didn't allow her to come over.

The only boy I´ve ever bathed was my brother so I don´t have personal experience of how boys react to being bathed by females other than close female relatives. As for my brother he would be embarrassed if an unknown woman came into the bathroom while we were checking him in the shower. Having an unknown girl in the bathroom while the boy is naked taking a shower is a very different situation from having a close female relative in there. As for my brother, other than me and my mother the only other other woman who helped him bath was my aunt. He went to her beach apartment, in summer, when he was 10, 11 and 12 and she too used to check him in the bath while he was in there. As she is his relative he was never embarrassed by it, although he had never been naked in front of her before. He would have been embarrassed if she was not related to him.
I´ve never been a babysitter but I suppose boys 10 or older will not be embarrassed being seen naked by a babysitter whom they have known for years and has been helping them bath for years. They are accustomed to her doing that. But it would probably be difficult for a boy 10 or older to have a new babysitter, at that time almost a complete stranger to him, see him naked for the first time, while checking him in the shower.
The first time she goes in the bathroom with him, at that age, he probably will be embarrassed about undressing in front of her. My brother would be, at that age.

That would be fun , when ur father,brother and uncle would do this to you when ur 12 or 13 years old nice

[Michelle R.]

It certainly helps if you have been babysitting the boy for a while, since he was younger so that he is used to you. In situations where I started babysitting a boy when he was a bit older (say 9-10) he would usually be a little embarrassed the first time he undressed in front of me. But once he saw I wasn't mean or trying to embarrass him he usually got over it fairly quickly - if not the first time certainly by the end of the 2nd or 3rd (by which time I guess the boy could rationalize that I had already seen him naked so there wasn't much to lose). The same is true on the rare occasion I've had a friend join me and help out with an older boy (the younger ones never batted an eye) - there was a little hesitation and embarrassment (e.g. covering his penis with his hands) but when they can tell my friend is nice and I clearly trust her they tend to relax a bit.

The only boy I´ve ever bathed was my brother so I don´t have personal experience of how boys react to being bathed by females other than close female relatives. As for my brother he would be embarrassed if an unknown woman came into the bathroom while we were checking him in the shower. Having an unknown girl in the bathroom while the boy is naked taking a shower is a very different situation from having a close female relative in there. As for my brother, other than me and my mother the only other other woman who helped him bath was my aunt. He went to her beach apartment, in summer, when he was 10, 11 and 12 and she too used to check him in the bath while he was in there. As she is his relative he was never embarrassed by it, although he had never been naked in front of her before. He would have been embarrassed if she was not related to him.
I´ve never been a babysitter but I suppose boys 10 or older will not be embarrassed being seen naked by a babysitter whom they have known for years and has been helping them bath for years. They are accustomed to her doing that. But it would probably be difficult for a boy 10 or older to have a new babysitter, at that time almost a complete stranger to him, see him naked for the first time, while checking him in the shower.
The first time she goes in the bathroom with him, at that age, he probably will be embarrassed about undressing in front of her. My brother would be, at that age.

[Michelle R.]

It wouldn't be any different provided the same conditions were met: (1) the girl was uninterested/unable to properly clean herself without supervision or assistance, and (2) that whatever the age difference between the babysitter and the girl, he was suitably mature. I understand though that some parents may be nervous about using a male babysitter, but I do know some boys who have babysat and they were all fine and certainly not sexual predators. Of the ones I know one did babysit a girl for a time. I don't think he bathed her much beyond 9 years-old (I guess because that was the age when she happened to take over her bathing responsibilities). One girl I babysit now used to have a male babysitter. He moved away last year. She just turned 11, so he was bathing her until after she was 10 and there were no problems. (I still help her a bit.) On average I'd say that girls mature faster and therefore stop needing help in the bath at a younger age, but other than that there is no problem with boys bathing girls if the two conditions above are in place.

All of this discussion has been about sisters bathing brothers or girl baby sitters bathing boys. Seems like most of you support those actions. Would it be any differerent if it was about brothers bathing sisters or boy baby sitters bathing girls? Why or Why Not?

[Guest]

The boys should be able to trust the girl in question. Likewise the girl should not have friends over and participate in the process unless they too are suitably mature about the situation. I have had a friend accompany me at times on babysitting jobs where the parents were going to be out later than usual (more of a concern when I too was younger). But I felt she was mature enough, so she would sometimes join us in the bathroom and even help out with baths. I did have a friend once ask me if she could tag along but I got the feeling that she was just interested in seeing boys naked in the bath, so didn't allow her to come over.

The only boy I´ve ever bathed was my brother so I don´t have personal experience of how boys react to being bathed by females other than close female relatives. As for my brother he would be embarrassed if an unknown woman came into the bathroom while we were checking him in the shower. Having an unknown girl in the bathroom while the boy is naked taking a shower is a very different situation from having a close female relative in there. As for my brother, other than me and my mother the only other other woman who helped him bath was my aunt. He went to her beach apartment, in summer, when he was 10, 11 and 12 and she too used to check him in the bath while he was in there. As she is his relative he was never embarrassed by it, although he had never been naked in front of her before. He would have been embarrassed if she was not related to him.
I´ve never been a babysitter but I suppose boys 10 or older will not be embarrassed being seen naked by a babysitter whom they have known for years and has been helping them bath for years. They are accustomed to her doing that. But it would probably be difficult for a boy 10 or older to have a new babysitter, at that time almost a complete stranger to him, see him naked for the first time, while checking him in the shower.
The first time she goes in the bathroom with him, at that age, he probably will be embarrassed about undressing in front of her. My brother would be, at that age.

That would be fun , when ur father,brother and uncle would do this to you when ur 12 or 13 years old nice

Girls mature faster than boys and that´s why you often have 11 or 12 year old boys being bathed, or just checked while bathing, by their mothers or sisters or aunts but don´t usually have girls the same age being bathed by their relatives. Girls that age usually wash themselves properly so they don´t need supervision. But its true that, at any age, its more usual for a female relative to help a boy bath than for a male relative to do the same to a girl.

[Kimmy P.]

I have been babysitting a couple of boys for just over a year. I just turned 16 and they are 10 and almost 12 (not brothers, 2 families). So far I haven't had any issues, including helping them in the bath. I am a little nervous about how to deal with things if one of them gets an erection. One friend told me a younger boy she was babysitting gets one sometimes but is too young to really notice it (just thinks it's funny). If the older boy gets one what should I say/do?

My mother bathed me till I was 12. On those nights that my mother was not home, my sister, who is 3 years older than I, had the job of bathing me. I didn't mind my mother bathing me at all. I kind of enjoyed the closeness actually. And I would have enjoyed those nights that my sister bathed me also except when I started getting erections at around 10 or 11, my sister would giggle. That annoyed me. When I complained to my mother about this, she just told me to get over it and that it isn't unusual for girls her age to giggle and be amused by seeing erections.

[Michelle R.]

Just understand that erections happen for various reasons and expect that it will happen at some point to minimize your surprise. My first experience was like your friend - a younger boy I babysat. I was surprised because I didn't think boys got them until they got older. But my long term experience is that they happen to boys of all ages. Sometimes it's embarrassment that causes it (for example the first time being seen naked by someone), but other times I think embarrassment prevents them from happening. Other times it could be a response to the physical contact from being bathed. With boys that are a bit older I expect that it could also be in response to whatever thoughts they are having - about being seen in the bath or something else. You can either ignore it or remind the boy that erections are normal and they don't have anything to be embarrassed about.

I have been babysitting a couple of boys for just over a year. I just turned 16 and they are 10 and almost 12 (not brothers, 2 families). So far I haven't had any issues, including helping them in the bath. I am a little nervous about how to deal with things if one of them gets an erection. One friend told me a younger boy she was babysitting gets one sometimes but is too young to really notice it (just thinks it's funny). If the older boy gets one what should I say/do?

[Jon K.]

I had a regular girl babysitter growing up who helped me with my bath. I didn't regularly get erections when she was there, but it did happen sometimes (discussed in earlier post). She would just remind me that it happens and eventually it would go away. But I do remember one time she was away and I had another girl (her friend I think). She was a little older and she was absolutely beautiful. My normal babysitter was not bad looking or anything (in fact for a while I had a crush on her) but the replacement girl was like a model or something (at least I thought so). I remember the first time she was there (I was probably somewhere between 11 and 12) I was very embarrassed to have to get undressed in front of her. I think I had an erection before I even took off my clothes and I couldn't get it to go down. She tried to be nice about it but couldn't help giggling a little. I think I was so nervous I had trouble washing myself, so she had to help, which made me even harder and more embarrassed - I remember it was like a never ending cycle! But I can't really think of anything else she could have said to make it better. I guess just saying that it's no big deal and not focussing on it is all you can do!

I have been babysitting a couple of boys for just over a year. I just turned 16 and they are 10 and almost 12 (not brothers, 2 families). So far I haven't had any issues, including helping them in the bath. I am a little nervous about how to deal with things if one of them gets an erection. One friend told me a younger boy she was babysitting gets one sometimes but is too young to really notice it (just thinks it's funny). If the older boy gets one what should I say/do?

My mother bathed me till I was 12. On those nights that my mother was not home, my sister, who is 3 years older than I, had the job of bathing me. I didn't mind my mother bathing me at all. I kind of enjoyed the closeness actually. And I would have enjoyed those nights that my sister bathed me also except when I started getting erections at around 10 or 11, my sister would giggle. That annoyed me. When I complained to my mother about this, she just told me to get over it and that it isn't unusual for girls her age to giggle and be amused by seeing erections.

[cleanboy]

To the girls who have responded here I have this question.. I know that you tell the boys that erections are normal and nothing to be embarrassed about. And that is true. But I am curious as to what went through your own mind at the time. Were you amused at all? Fascinated? Your curiosity about them satisfied? or something else?

[Guest]

Just understand that erections happen for various reasons and expect that it will happen at some point to minimize your surprise. My first experience was like your friend - a younger boy I babysat. I was surprised because I didn't think boys got them until they got older. But my long term experience is that they happen to boys of all ages. Sometimes it's embarrassment that causes it (for example the first time being seen naked by someone), but other times I think embarrassment prevents them from happening. Other times it could be a response to the physical contact from being bathed. With boys that are a bit older I expect that it could also be in response to whatever thoughts they are having - about being seen in the bath or something else. You can either ignore it or remind the boy that erections are normal and they don't have anything to be embarrassed about.

Erections in a boy that hasn´t entered puberty yet don´t have to be sexually motivated. My brother sometimes had half erections when having a bath. The penis becomes slightly stiff , then goes down again. Its something to be expected from a boy.
Many times, before puberty, when I woke him up in the morning he had to wait before going into the bathroom to pee, because he woke up stiff. We were accustomed to that so it was never an embarrassment for him or for us. But we are his relatives. It might be different for a babysitter.

[Michelle R.]

I'm not really sure what I thought the first time(s) it happened. I suppose I was interested on the one hand, having never seen it happen before. But because they are young boys it is innocent, so I wouldn't say it addressed my curiosity or made me feel like I understood men better. It is more of a cute thing to see happen. But I guess it does make one appreciate how little control men have over it happening sometimes. Even now I sometimes get a little smile out of it, especially if the boy looks embarrassed or worried that he's in trouble because it happened.

To the girls who have responded here I have this question.. I know that you tell the boys that erections are normal and nothing to be embarrassed about. And that is true. But I am curious as to what went through your own mind at the time. Were you amused at all? Fascinated? Your curiosity about them satisfied? or something else?

[OldBoy]

Like many boys, I didn't have erections in the bath whilst my mother was still washing me. If I had she or a babysitter would have noticed that my foreskin would not retract when I was stiff and treatment then would have saved me a lot of discomfort and embarrassment later. I mention this because some babysitters may not realise that a tight foreskin is abnormal.

[Michelle R.]

My understanding is that uncircumcised boys' foreskins retract at different ages and that you should never force back the foreskin farther than it goes naturally. Most of the boys I've babysat have been circumcised, and I think most of the others have been able to retract the foreskin, but not all to the same extent. And I remember one mother warning me that her son's foreskin wasn't retracting yet so I should make sure not to try. At times when I have tried to teach uncircumcised boys to wash themselves I've always told them to try to pull it back as far as they felt comfortable doing so.

Like many boys, I didn't have erections in the bath whilst my mother was still washing me. If I had she or a babysitter would have noticed that my foreskin would not retract when I was stiff and treatment then would have saved me a lot of discomfort and embarrassment later. I mention this because some babysitters may not realise that a tight foreskin is abnormal.

[Tracy D.]

My understanding is that uncircumcised boys' foreskins retract at different ages and that you should never force back the foreskin farther than it goes naturally. Most of the boys I've babysat have been circumcised, and I think most of the others have been able to retract the foreskin, but not all to the same extent. And I remember one mother warning me that her son's foreskin wasn't retracting yet so I should make sure not to try. At times when I have tried to teach uncircumcised boys to wash themselves I've always told them to try to pull it back as far as they felt comfortable doing so.

I´m the guest who was describing my experience helping my brother bath.
I´m curious how you deal with washing the boys that you babysit more intimate parts. As I´ve already said me or my mother used to wash my brother until he was nine. After that, until he was 12, we just checked that he was washing himself carefully, helping him sometimes wash his back if he had dificulty doing so. So after nine he washed his more intimate parts himself.
When the boy is very young it wil not be awkward for either him or the babysitter for her to wash his penis and inside his buttocks. But if the boy is older it may become awkward for the babysitter to do that. The boy may not be embarrassed to be bathed by the babysitter but he may be embarrassed to have his penis, his buttocks or his Anal region washed by her. It may be embarrassing for her to do that to an older boy, too.
Do you tell boys older than 8 or 9 to wash those areas themselves and only wash their less intimate areas or do you wash those areas yourself?
Although a 9 or 10 year old may not be careful washing himself and need asistance bathing he may be capable of washing his private parts if told to do so.

[Former babysitter]

I'm now 43 and the mother of a girl 19 and a boy 16. But when I was 13 I started babysitting. I babysat till I was 18 and went away to college. Boy does this discussion bring back memories. The second family I sat for (when I was 13) had a boy, 8. The second time I sat for this particular boy, the parents were running late, so the mother asked me if I would please give her son a bath since she didn't have the time. I said sure. Outside I appeared calm. But inside I was shaking like a leaf. I had never seen a naked boy up close before and certainly never touched one. I was both nervous and excited at the same time. Soon after the parents left, I ran his bath. Then the moment of truth came. I told him his bath was ready and he calmly went into his room and got undressed and then met me in the bathroom. He wasn't embarrassed at all. I looked at "it" and didn't realize that "it" would be so small. It was quite cute actually. He got into the tub and I let him soak for a minute or two. I took deep breath, picked up the soap and started washing his back. Then (in this order) his face, neck, chest and belly. Then even before I could tell him to, he stood up. He told me that his mother always washed the rest of him while he was standing. That made sense. I washed his legs as far up as I could go without touching his balls. By this time I wasn't quite as nervous as I was before. His penis seemed to get half erect and then go down again several times. Again I took a deep breath, soaped up my hands and then washed "those" parts. I hope you don't yell at me when I say that I was very excited (but not turned on) at doing this. Remember I had never touched one before and this was all new to me. He got a full erection at this point and I was just so fascinated seeing this happen. He didn't seem embarrassed by this at all. It stayed this way till after he got out of the tub and I dried him off. After that time there were occasional times when I would bathe him and of course there would be other boys that I would bathe in the years following. But that first one and one other boy I will remember vividly the baths I gave them. BTW, I bathed my own son everyday till he was 8 and after that about twice a week till he was 11 just to make sure he was really clean.

[Michelle R.]

Tracy - It really varied case by case. Generally speaking, I do more of the actual washing for younger boys (all parts of the body), with occasional attempts at teaching them how to do it themselves (when they show any interest in doing so), and more supervision as the boys got older (although I probably set the bar for an "older" boy around 10 years-old based on my experience).

The younger boys never really seemed more embarrassed about being washed "down there" than about the situation as a whole, and in any event they quickly got used to me. You're right, I usually encourage the older boys to do their genital area (if I am doing other parts) themselves (especially if they tend to get erect during the bath - I figure that if they get erect in general or specifically in response to me touching them somewhere, this would only be compounded if I washed their bottom or penis myself).

There are times, however, when I wash the "older" boys' bottoms/penises. For example, I used to babysit this one boy who sometimes would just slosh around in the tub and simply never get around to actually washing, no matter how much I prodded, so around the time he started to prune I would decide enough was enough. There is one boy I babysit now who I had to teach to clean under his foreskin (why his parents never taught him that is beyond me). Sometimes a boy washes poorly and in the interest in time I give him a second wash. And there have also been times when the boy has not been feeling well or has been injured and I have to do the job. One boy just a couple months ago had broken fingers on one hand and had hurt the other, so I had to do everything for him. So it really is a case by case answer.

(Other than the last example, I'd say the "older" boys who sometimes need washing even in their genital area are usually ones who show little to no signs of entering puberty, i.e. late bloomers. The boy in the last example has started to show pubic hair and a little growth. I had actually stopped helping him for the most part, just peeking my head in when he took a shower. But when he was hurt I had to get involved again.)

I may have been nervous the first few times I had to bathe a boy, but I was never embarrassed about it. After a while you just get used to it I guess.

I´m the guest who was describing my experience helping my brother bath.
I´m curious how you deal with washing the boys that you babysit more intimate parts. As I´ve already said me or my mother used to wash my brother until he was nine. After that, until he was 12, we just checked that he was washing himself carefully, helping him sometimes wash his back if he had dificulty doing so. So after nine he washed his more intimate parts himself.
When the boy is very young it wil not be awkward for either him or the babysitter for her to wash his penis and inside his buttocks. But if the boy is older it may become awkward for the babysitter to do that. The boy may not be embarrassed to be bathed by the babysitter but he may be embarrassed to have his penis, his buttocks or his Anal region washed by her. It may be embarrassing for her to do that to an older boy, too.
Do you tell boys older than 8 or 9 to wash those areas themselves and only wash their less intimate areas or do you wash those areas yourself?
Although a 9 or 10 year old may not be careful washing himself and need asistance bathing he may be capable of washing his private parts if told to do so.