Babysitter giving bath

[June 19]

Tracy he should not be embarrassed with being naked in front of his auntie even if he became erect

My sister was 15, my male cousins and I just turned 12.

It was very embarrassing for me everytime I was naked in front of my sister. I did not get used to it and I don't think the cousins did either, although they were certainly used to being naked in front of their mom.

I don't really know how Donna felt about it. We never did discuss it.

If she was older, like 17 or 18, it could have been easier for you to get used to it. At 15 she was too close to your age.
What about you aunt, were you as embarrassed with being naked in front of her as you were with being naked in front of your sister? Her being much older than your sister made it easier to be naked in front of her?

[ben12380]

June, you should not be embarrassed being naked in front of a young boy either. Remember that I said I hope there will come a day when you'll be babysitting for a boy who refuses to undress in front of you and you might or might not be prepared for how to deal with that. As I mentioned to Tracy, some boys might rather be diagnosed with testicular cancer than let a girl see them naked and wash their genitals. If you force the child to disrobe I hope his parents report you to DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL SERVICES (DSS) and then you'll lose your opportunities of working in child care which will go on your employment record. I will repeat this as many times as I need to which Tracy understood. Boys privacy NEEDS to be respected just as much as girls privacy no matter how well or poorly boys wash. You seem to be a sexist pig saying, "boys don't wash that well," even if that's what you've experienced, you should keep your sexist remarks to yourself.

[The Colonel]

I am slightly concerned at this thread.

I have read one issue that I feel I need to comment on, regarding Ben’s comment about sexual harassment.

Under UK law, what is described here would be considered sexual harassment, and if you touch him, or force him, it becomes sexual assault.

Further, making him strip against his will, bearing in mind you are not the parents or legal guardian of the child, could make you guilty of degrading treatment. (See Tyler V UK (1976).) This is illegal under the European Convention on Human Rights as incorporated into UK law by the Human Rights Act (1998).

You could also be charged with breach of trust in a position of responsibility, and further if the child is 16 or above then you are committing an offence on someone who has the right of refusal in his own right. (Breaching his human rights). If they are under 16, you are committing an offence on a minor, which may well lead to you being placed on the Sexual Offenders Register.

I speak as a retired British Lieutenant Colonel, and a Justice of the Peace. (Magistrate).

So, you leave the child alone, and leave the issue to their parents. End of.

[Grown Man]

June, you should not be embarrassed being naked in front of a young boy either. Remember that I said I hope there will come a day when you'll be babysitting for a boy who refuses to undress in front of you and you might or might not be prepared for how to deal with that. As I mentioned to Tracy, some boys might rather be diagnosed with testicular cancer than let a girl see them naked and wash their genitals. If you force the child to disrobe I hope his parents report you to DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL SERVICES (DSS) and then you'll lose your opportunities of working in child care which will go on your employment record. I will repeat this as many times as I need to which Tracy understood. Boys privacy NEEDS to be respected just as much as girls privacy no matter how well or poorly boys wash. You seem to be a sexist pig saying, "boys don't wash that well," even if that's what you've experienced, you should keep your sexist remarks to yourself.

I'm not June, but I assume she would wash a boy only if his parents ask her to. So if she's washing a boy, she's doing it by delegation of parental authority. I see no problem with that, as long as she uses no more force than the boy's mother would.

And your privacy argument doesn't wash (so to speak). If a boy stays clean by himself, I doubt his parents will ask the babysitter for help on this matter. If not, it's the duty of his parents, and by delegation, his babysitter, to do it.

[Former babysitter]

June, you should not be embarrassed being naked in front of a young boy either. Remember that I said I hope there will come a day when you'll be babysitting for a boy who refuses to undress in front of you and you might or might not be prepared for how to deal with that. As I mentioned to Tracy, some boys might rather be diagnosed with testicular cancer than let a girl see them naked and wash their genitals. If you force the child to disrobe I hope his parents report you to DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL SERVICES (DSS) and then you'll lose your opportunities of working in child care which will go on your employment record. I will repeat this as many times as I need to which Tracy understood. Boys privacy NEEDS to be respected just as much as girls privacy no matter how well or poorly boys wash. You seem to be a sexist pig saying, "boys don't wash that well," even if that's what you've experienced, you should keep your sexist remarks to yourself.

I'm not June, but I assume she would wash a boy only if his parents ask her to. So if she's washing a boy, she's doing it by delegation of parental authority. I see no problem with that, as long as she uses no more force than the boy's mother would.

And your privacy argument doesn't wash (so to speak). If a boy stays clean by himself, I doubt his parents will ask the babysitter for help on this matter. If not, it's the duty of his parents, and by delegation, his babysitter, to do it.

I agree. I only bathed boys if their mothers asked me too. once I did, they never hesitated to ask me to do it other times as well.

[baldpiggy]

First of all this is complete sexuall abuse which is a fact there is no arguing that point what you can argue though is wether it should be or not. (which is a whole other disscution.) i am an attorny who has dealt with many cases like this so i understand that it is sexuall abuse.

I'm sorry but, you are a horrible person for even posting this question. this means that you value the opinions of complete strangers on the internet (who some of the people, lets face it, are complete pervs) over that of your own sons. His is the only oppinion that should matter, Not mine or anyone elses even that of his mom's shouldn't count. If he dosn't want to not only is it not right it is also illegal and he should be removed if you persue this.

[Grown Man]

First of all this is complete sexuall abuse which is a fact there is no arguing that point what you can argue though is wether it should be or not. (which is a whole other disscution.) i am an attorny who has dealt with many cases like this so i understand that it is sexuall abuse.

Wrong. Bathing children *might* be sexual abuse, but for the overwhelming majority it isn't. Otherwise a lawyer such as you claim to be would be far too busy to post on forums like this one.

I thought lawyers were taught to think, but all I see from you is logical BS. It is not sensible to ban an activity merely because it *might* have unhappy consequences. Kitchen knives have been used for murder; should they be outlawed? Cigarettes can also be deadly; are they illegal yet? Drivers kill an enormous number of people every year; should cars be banned? No, no, and hell no.

Similarly, whether a young boy should be bathed over his objections is something that should be weighed on a case by case basis -- not categorically prohibited.

I'm sorry but, you are a horrible person for even posting this question. this means that you value the opinions of complete strangers on the internet (who some of the people, lets face it, are complete pervs) over that of your own sons. His is the only oppinion that should matter, Not mine or anyone elses even that of his mom's shouldn't count. If he dosn't want to not only is it not right it is also illegal and he should be removed if you persue this.

A child's opinion is sometimes worthless; a wise parent should know when to ignore it. If I had children, I would not listen to their preference for candy over real food. Similarly, I would not listen to my young son's objection to being washed -- if he really needed the washing, and he could not or would not do it himself.

[Grown Man]

It is not sensible to ban an activity merely because it *might* have unhappy consequences.

Allow me to quickly change "it *might* have unhappy consequences" by appending "on rare occasions".

[baldpiggy]

The childs oppinion in such a case should deffinatly be respected. it would be wrong to force him to go through with this if he was feeling very uncomfortable. Plus what if he had refused to let the babysitter give him a bath, what then is she supposed to force strip him and throw him in the tub. that would be sexual abuse.

There is also a complete double standard here, if there was a 14 year old boy bathing a 11 or even 10 year old girl everyone pretty much would be against that

[Guest]

Some of the stuff I read in here is crazy! Someone having to bathe your penis for you when you're a teenager?????

I was raised by just my mother and didn't have much memory of my dad. Because it was just her and me, I had lots of babysitters. They checked in on me during bathtime, but none of them ever washed me, particually on my penis. I stopped getting babysat and supervised during baths when I was in middle school, because at that point I was old enough to not need a sitter.

I was babysat by a few different teenagers in the neighborhood. As I got older (around age 8 or 9) bathtime grew more and more embarrassing. Some of these girls weren't even old enough to drive, and I was expected to give them a full display of my bod. Quite an humiliating experience for a young boy.

Some of the girls were older sisters to people in my school which made it a bit more embarrassing. Some would have their friends over and they never hesitated to join the sitters in the bathroom during my bathtime. I was just a little nude 9 year old whose body was on full display for all these females from head to toe. Don't tell me that if I was female and they were male you wouldn't think the situation was inappropriate.

I did all the "hide your penis" tricks. I would tuck it between my legs, put a wash cloth over it and the classic cup your penis with your hands. The babysitters reactions? They would laugh and tell me I was being silly. Yes I suppose a boy not wanting a girl less than 10 years older than him to view his penis is silly...(sarcasm)

There was a high schooler on the block named Kyle who would watch me from time to time. This was before having a male nanny or boy babysitter was as big of a thing as it is now. Remember I had no male role models so this guy was like my humor, and I looked up to him. He played football, and had a band. This guy was my hero.

As the other male sitters in this topic pointed out (I think one was on page two and another on page 16 or so), it's much less embarrassing for older boys to be seen naked if it's a male sitter. It's not a sexual or gay thing, but imagine yourself in my position. I was much more comfortable with Kyle seeing my "little pecker" (as he teasingly called it).

[male observer]

There is also a complete double standard here, if there was a 14 year old boy bathing a 11 or even 10 year old girl everyone pretty much would be against that

very true. i think lots of women use this technique as a teaching and learning experience for a girl to learn about a boy's anatomy. note in the story of the aunt making boys shower together in front of the girl but didn't make the girl naked in front of the boys even though she claimed there was a time and water limit

[Tracy D.]

The childs oppinion in such a case should deffinatly be respected. it would be wrong to force him to go through with this if he was feeling very uncomfortable. Plus what if he had refused to let the babysitter give him a bath, what then is she supposed to force strip him and throw him in the tub. that would be sexual abuse.

What happens usually is that the boy feels uncomfortable undressing the first time the babysitter baths him and would like to refuse to do it. She knows he is embarrassed so she gently tells him there is no motive for him to be embarrassed, that its ok for him to undress in front of her and reminds him that his mother has told him that he will be bathed by her.
The boy ends up reluctantly undressing by himself, with no need for the babysitter to force strip him. After a few times he gets used to it and is no longer embarrassed about it.

[Guest]

The other guest poster on this page 2 or 3 posts back seems to disagree. He says he was embarrassed each time except when it was a boy doing it.

[Tracy D.]

He said he had many different babysitters. That´s not good. I agree that it must be embarrassing for a boy to be bathed by a different girl every month. And bringing the babysitter´s friends into the bathroom, like he said some of the girls did, is awful.

[MSH]

If she was older, like 17 or 18, it could have been easier for you to get used to it. At 15 she was too close to your age.
What about you aunt, were you as embarrassed with being naked in front of her as you were with being naked in front of your sister? Her being much older than your sister made it easier to be naked in front of her?

I was more embarrassed in front of my sister, not because of her age but she was someone I saw everyday before and after these showers. It took a long time to get over the fact that everytime my sister saw me, she knew what I looked like without clothes. I never got used to it as you have inquired and suggested in other posts. Forgive me if I'm wrong; you've never directly said it, but I get the impression that you think this was OK, or at least not that big of a deal.