Babysitter giving bath

[Tracy D.]

If she was older, like 17 or 18, it could have been easier for you to get used to it. At 15 she was too close to your age.
What about you aunt, were you as embarrassed with being naked in front of her as you were with being naked in front of your sister? Her being much older than your sister made it easier to be naked in front of her?

I was more embarrassed in front of my sister, not because of her age but she was someone I saw everyday before and after these showers. It took a long time to get over the fact that everytime my sister saw me, she knew what I looked like without clothes. I never got used to it as you have inquired and suggested in other posts. Forgive me if I'm wrong; you've never directly said it, but I get the impression that you think this was OK, or at least not that big of a deal.

I think your aunt assumed your sister, as she was older than you, used to see you naked sometimes at home. She assumed it was not embarrassing for you to undress in front of your sister.
As for her four sons I think your aunt should have talked with them first and ask if it was OK for your sister to help them wash, because she knew they weren´t used to your sister seeing them naked. Instead she caught you all by surprise, by unexpectedly going into the bathroom with you sister and telling all six of you that from now on she would be there everyday to help. Your aunt should have been more careful....I imagine all six of you were stunned when you aunt unexpectedly told you to undress with your sister on the room. She must have noticed you were embarrassed, but didn´t care much about it.

[male observer]

As for her four sons I think your aunt should have talked with them first and ask if it was OK for your sister to help them wash, because she knew they weren´t used to your sister seeing them naked. Instead she caught you all by surprise, by unexpectedly going into the bathroom with you sister and telling all six of you that from now on she would be there everyday to help. Your aunt should have been more careful....I imagine all six of you were stunned when you aunt unexpectedly told you to undress with your sister on the room. She must have noticed you were embarrassed, but didn´t care much about it.

maybe the aunt got off on seeing naked little boys and wanted to share that with the girl.

[Grown Man]

maybe the aunt got off on seeing naked little boys and wanted to share that with the girl.

I wouldn't be surprised if the babysitter gets a small thrill from bathing a little boy. But if she did, so what? When was the last time you heard of sexual abuse by a female babysitter? I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it's apparently so rare that I personally have never heard of any. So where's the harm?

Besides, do you want the job? Not me, thank you very much. Let the girls play with their Barbie dolls, I say.

[Ivan Diederhoff]

maybe the aunt got off on seeing naked little boys and wanted to share that with the girl.

I wouldn't be surprised if the babysitter gets a small thrill from bathing a little boy. But if she did, so what? When was the last time you heard of sexual abuse by a female babysitter? I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it's apparently so rare that I personally have never heard of any. So where's the harm?

Besides, do you want the job? Not me, thank you very much. Let the girls play with their Barbie dolls, I say.

Are you saying it's ok for a female babysitter to get her kicks from touching a little boy, but a male sitter bathing a little girl is inappropriate? If it's wrong for one, it's just wrong. Bathing a child is a necessity for them. for anyone to get a "thrill" out of it spells trouble. It's a job that must be done, just like preparing meals and washing clothes. Children are wonderful, and they make life interesting, but they should not be objects of "adult thrills and kicks."

[Former babysitter]

As I had written in an earlier post, I gave my first bath to a boy when I was 13. I had never seen a naked boy up close before and certainly never touched one. I was very nervous when the mother asked me bathe her son because she was running late. However, I was also very excited at this new experience. I want to say that I never did anything inappropriate. That said, I did get a little thrill out of these experiences especially when I saw my first erection occur. I did not bathe the boy for the thrill, only because the mother asked me to. The fact that I enjoyed it could not be helped. It was an education for me. I was asked by this mother to bathe her son on many more occasions, as well as by other mothers that I was referred to. What was I supposed to do, refuse their requests?

[Guest]

I consider it`s nothing wrong if somebody feel pleasure or thrill when perform his work, if this don`t lead to inappropriate and unallowable action. The occupation baby sitter supposes seeing children and teenagers of both genders in different stage of undress or stark naked and it`s unsuitable to be performed of underage girl.

[Jack k]

I am 18 years old and I have a dusty job and i live at home with my mom and younger sister (10) if my mom as a night out she gets a lady from down the street to come and get my dinner ready and look after my sister. And as i said i have a very dusty job and when I get home I go for a shower fist before my tea when I take my cloths off I know the dust is all over me mom comes in and washes my back for me but if she is out the lady mom gets to look after us comes and washes me I do not get shy she even washes the front of my legs. When she first did it I put my hand over my bits but she just said come on your not shy are you and I took my hand away

[The Colonel]

It's amazing how many posters here can't spell "clothes".

All the same person I suspect.

It is also amazing how every poster here has ignored my previous two posts about the illegality of what they are suggesting.

[rk0237]

When I was growing up, boys had very little privacy. I often bathed in front of my mom or other females including some my own age. This was simply accepted as normal. Our bathtub was a tub in the kitchen because it was warmer than any other room. I never saw my sister get her bath as this was not permitted. That said, I don't see what all the fuss is about--for me it was the norm.

[Guest]

hy, this is my first post!. i am a proud father of 6 kids. my first child are twin of 19 year old. one a boy and one a girl. the other girls 12, 6, 3 and other boy 9.
the theme are interest, and some quote are great. my post are about my children and this situation.
all my children are raised with out shamed. bathing together. but ...

When I was growing up, boys had very little privacy. I often bathed in front of my mom or other females including some my own age. This was simply accepted as normal. Our bathtub was a tub in the kitchen because it was warmer than any other room. I never saw my sister get her bath as this was not permitted. That said, I don't see what all the fuss is about--for me it was the norm.

my parents learn my when i was a child, that are normal that boys are naked and girl dressed. but when i raised my kids i learn about privacy, and also that is not bad that brother and sister bathing together while are conformt, or stay in underwear. but i learn my two boys, that by the norm or culture boys will be stay naked more than that girls. and girls sometime like privacy since certain age. also i explain that if their sisters no longer sharing the bath, or bathing together or not stay in the night or morning wear underwear only, it is because they already in this age, and that not necessarily you must do the same. also for saving water, i like to bathing the twin at least that the boy will puverty, although the girl wear underwear.

my older son when was 10, he stay a summer in a aunt house. the aunt have a daughter 8 year. and the babysitter 14. due that he wasn't washing very well. i or my spouse bathing her, he like to play in the water instead of wash with soap. is does not like much the idea but i explain the situation. but one night the daughter of the aunt also "help" the babysitter, she stay in the bathroom for see how to clean a boy. also i stay, and the girl say is the first time to see a boy naked. really is good experience for my niece, to learn about the anatomy of a boy.

[MSH]

I think your aunt assumed your sister, as she was older than you, used to see you naked sometimes at home. She assumed it was not embarrassing for you to undress in front of your sister.
As for her four sons I think your aunt should have talked with them first and ask if it was OK for your sister to help them wash, because she knew they weren´t used to your sister seeing them naked. Instead she caught you all by surprise, by unexpectedly going into the bathroom with you sister and telling all six of you that from now on she would be there everyday to help. Your aunt should have been more careful....I imagine all six of you were stunned when you aunt unexpectedly told you to undress with your sister on the room. She must have noticed you were embarrassed, but didn´t care much about it.

Tracy, why do you think my aunt assumed my sister probably saw me naked at home? Would you say that a 15 year old boy probably sees his 12 year old sister naked?

[Guest]

Agreed this stuff is ridiculous and sexist.

I am tired of all this "girls mature faster than boys". Um that doesn't mean that a 12 year being bathed by a 15 year old is ok!

Seriously some of you talk about us males as if we were invalids who can't do anything without your precious help.

If I said a bunch of stuff like "Girls don't blah blah" as well as boys I would be lynched as a sexist.

[theo50]

THIS IS MY!

hy, this is my first post!. i am a proud father of 6 kids. my first child are twin of 19 year old. one a boy and one a girl. the other girls 12, 6, 3 and other boy 9.
the theme are interest, and some quote are great. my post are about my children and this situation.
all my children are raised with out shamed. bathing together. but ...

When I was growing up, boys had very little privacy. I often bathed in front of my mom or other females including some my own age. This was simply accepted as normal. Our bathtub was a tub in the kitchen because it was warmer than any other room. I never saw my sister get her bath as this was not permitted. That said, I don't see what all the fuss is about--for me it was the norm.

my parents learn my when i was a child, that are normal that boys are naked and girl dressed. but when i raised my kids i learn about privacy, and also that is not bad that brother and sister bathing together while are conformt, or stay in underwear. but i learn my two boys, that by the norm or culture boys will be stay naked more than that girls. and girls sometime like privacy since certain age. also i explain that if their sisters no longer sharing the bath, or bathing together or not stay in the night or morning wear underwear only, it is because they already in this age, and that not necessarily you must do the same. also for saving water, i like to bathing the twin at least that the boy will puverty, although the girl wear underwear.

my older son when was 10, he stay a summer in a aunt house. the aunt have a daughter 8 year. and the babysitter 14. due that he wasn't washing very well. i or my spouse bathing her, he like to play in the water instead of wash with soap. is does not like much the idea but i explain the situation. but one night the daughter of the aunt also "help" the babysitter, she stay in the bathroom for see how to clean a boy. also i stay, and the girl say is the first time to see a boy naked. really is good experience for my niece, to learn about the anatomy of a boy.

[Michelle R.]

Wow, there has all of a sudden been a lot of activity on this since I went on a working vacation. Just to throw my two cents on all the comments about boys' privacy, I agree that boys deserve as much privacy as girls. But privacy isn't an issue until it is both requested and warranted. If someone's door is closed you knock before you open it, right? But if the door is open do you have to stand to the side and knock on the wall before going in or even looking in? No, the person is saying it's ok for you to be looking in. It's the same with children (note I said children, not just boys) and help/supervision with baths. I have babysat a lot of kids over the years (I will be able to pay for a big chunk of my college tuition with the money I have saved over the years and still earn). I have helped or supervised boys in the bath until past the age of 12 because those particular boys either required direct help (less common at that age) or supervision since they were not washing themselves properly (note I am not saying all boys, just particular boys) - all of this being at their parents' direction. I have also babysat boys as young as 9 for whom I play no role at bathtime - other than I suppose reminding them to take their bath. Why? Because they have said that they want to do it on their own and their parents agree that they are capable of doing so. Those boys have asked for (and earned) their privacy, so I respect it.

(For the record, I think the applicable ranges for girls I have babysat would be 11 and 7 respectively, although I think more of the girls were closer to the range of 8 or 9 when they started doing it alone while the boys were all over the map. I think this supports what I have read that girls tend to mature faster than boys, although I don't believe this is true for all boys or girls. Some of the girls who are capable of taking their bath on their own have occasionally asked me to sit with them to keep them company, which is easier as it is girl-girl. I wouldn't expect a boy who bathes himself to ever want to re-invite a girl into that process! )

I do think a parents' concerns about hygeine trump a child's concerns about privacy though. I remember one boy I babysat for a while who said he wanted to start bathing alone at some point (I can't remember at what age, probably somewhere around 10) because when I showed up one day his mom was explaining why he was all of a sudden unhappy about me helping with his bath (I always gave him his baths before then). She said he would now wash himself but I still needed to supervise because he hadn't been doing a good enough job (missing parts or just fooling around in the tub, etc.). So for a couple of visits he wasn't happy that I was there, he wanted privacy. But his parents decided that he hadn't earned it yet, so he didn't get it. Their concern was that he was clean. (Just like getting shots from the doctor - he probably didn't like them, but his parents' concern would be his health.) After a while though his parents said he was doing an ok job, and from then on I didn't get involved. I think that is the reasonable and correct approach.

(I just remember that one boy because he really objected to it at the time. For other boys and girls, sometimes all of a sudden the parents have told me I no longer need to help, sometimes the parents decide the child is old enough to learn to do it alone and ask that I show them how to do it themselves, and sometimes the child takes charge and says he or she can do it and I watch and report to the parents if they did ok on their own. I personally haven't experienced any other kicking and screaming type objections other than that one.)

[Michelle R.]

MSH - I think what happened to you was wrong because it sounds like you bathed yourself by this age (you said your mom hadn't seen you naked for a couple years, which implies she was satisfied that you could clean yourself). Therefore, your privacy was indeed violated by this, and compounded by letting your sister see you all of a sudden when she didn't before. Your aunt should have figured out another arrangement.

I agree that some posters or articles have a bias that girls should get privacy and boys shouldn't. My view is that it is case by case, and while I think the "evidence" (what I've read at least) suggests that girls on average mature faster, one shouldn't apply that generalization to all boys. I think it's reasonable that some boys either still need help or don't mind being seen at that age (because I have personal experience to that effect), but I also know boys who are capable at a younger age. The same it true with girls. Each child will desire (and earn) privacy at different times, but from that time it needs to be respected.

Also, I worry more about children being bathed/seen naked by someone of the opposite sex than by parents or babysitters. Parents - nothing they haven't seen before. Babysitter - assuming reasonable age difference, they are being hired by the parents based on experience and trust character to handle the situation appropriately. But siblings should only be involved (in my opinion) if they have since the child was very young. In other words, they are just continuing a role that the younger sibling has become used to. To all of a sudden be exposed naked to a sibling (like you were) sounds very humiliating, and I could easily see her teasing you or you just feeling uncomfortable in the future because she got to take a peak at something she otherwise wasn't allowed to.

As a 12 year old boy, my older sister, younger brother and I spent a summer at my aunt's farm. She had 4 boys; my twin cousins Kenny and Karl were my age and 2 younger boys. My aunt informed us that she had neither the time nor hot water for individual baths and that every night she showered her 4 boys locker room style with a garden hose. My brother and I would be showered with them. I was rather unsure what all this meant. I was led into a utility room with everyone. I was extremely uncomfortable as I had to strip naked with the other boys in front of my aunt, who then proceeded to spray us with water, gave us soap and shampoo, instructed us to wash our hair, etc. Even my mom hadn't seen me naked for probably 2-3 years at that point.

After a couple of nights, she told us that my sister Donna would assist her by helping with the two youngest boys. It was extremely embarrassing for me (and the other older boys) to take our clothes off and be naked in front of my sister. None of us boys had any pubic hair yet. We all had erections at various times throughout these showers. As a 12 year old boy, it was totally humiliating to have my erect penis pointing straight at my older sister.

There seems to be a philosophy among many women that pre-pubescent boys are not allowed any privacy.