i caught my son wear nail polsih/makeup

[The Colonel]

I agree in many respects.

[Guest]

I believe that gender identity and sexuality are truly things within individual people. Its not something thats chosen but something that is. If you 'make' a young boy wear dresses and makeup (for play or otherwise) and it goes against their natural bieng you are going to fu** up your child.

Similarly if a young boy is in touch with what we percieve as feminine and negative traits and wants to dress up in his mums clothes and you make him feel bad for doing it or tell him he cant you equally fu** him up.

I feel that if you allow a child to work out who they are for themselves you are much more likely to find a well balanced adult in later life.

A young boy who is told only girls cry, more than likely 'will' have problems with expression. A young boy who is stopped playing with mums clothes at an early age more than likely 'will' then only play with approved toys, he will do this for acceptance not because its what he naturally wants to do. (or maybe he likes tonka toys AND mums clothes). Gay kids brought up in unaccepting households are much more likely to struggle and feel mentally distressed. If what you are forced to accept and believe as a child isnt who you naturally are its potentially damaging.

Im not suggesting all kids are forced to play percieved boys/girls clothes and toys, Im merely suggesting that given the choice they will find thier own way of bieng thats most comfortable for them.

David Beckam is a straight man, he's also successful sportsman and family man. He wear nail varnish and earings - he loves fashion - do you believe he's messed up about his gender? Or is he just comfortable with himself and likes to experiment with clothes and accessories?

what you 'believe' is only your uneducated opinion and not scientific fact...you have no place calling anyone an 'ignoramus'....

[Guest12345]

Hey guys all these posts are confusing me even more now, l still dont know if l should or shouldnt let him wear nail polish and he even asked me last night again. If you guys were in this situation what would you do, and if anyone has had an experience like this before could you guys tell me what you did.

[The Colonel]

Hey guys all these posts are confusing me even more now, l still dont know if l should or shouldnt let him wear nail polish and he even asked me last night again. If you guys were in this situation what would you do, and if anyone has had an experience like this before could you guys tell me what you did.

The answer should be "No".

As I father of 4 boys I am telling you "No".

End.

[The Colonel]

the above should read:

"As a father of 4 boys..."

[Guest]

what you 'believe' is only your uneducated opinion and not scientific fact


So then ignoramous what 'are' the scientific facts about lads of 15 wearing nail varnish - enlightnen me.

[Guest]

Id say let him wear it. If he was 5 id say go for it, he's just playing and experimenting (in the same way he might also choose with an action man). At 15 I think you should give him the choice, they're his nails. Don't judge him and dont make assumptions - trust him to know what he's comfortable wearing or wants to wear to be like his mates or summat (thinkin goth type attire). He's asked that many times now he obviously wants to do it. If he asked you 5 times for a football, he'd probably be kickin it around the park by now.

[The Colonel]

Id say let him wear it. If he was 5 id say go for it, he's just playing and experimenting (in the same way he might also choose with an action man). At 15 I think you should give him the choice, they're his nails. Don't judge him and dont make assumptions - trust him to know what he's comfortable wearing or wants to wear to be like his mates or summat (thinkin goth type attire). He's asked that many times now he obviously wants to do it. If he asked you 5 times for a football, he'd probably be kickin it around the park by now.

Yes, but football is something most boys do...

Nail varnish is not something most do

[Guest]

Hey guys all these posts are confusing me even more now, l still dont know if l should or shouldnt let him wear nail polish and he even asked me last night again. If you guys were in this situation what would you do, and if anyone has had an experience like this before could you guys tell me what you did.

I agree with The Colonel that wearing nial polish/varnish is something most boys do not do, but if your son wants to wear it, what's the harm? It's not permanent like a tatoo or a piercing. At 15 it's important to keep the communication open with him. Allowing him to wear nail polish/varnish will show him that you are willing to allow him some freedom of expression so long as he discusses it with you first.

[The Colonel]

Hey guys all these posts are confusing me even more now, l still dont know if l should or shouldnt let him wear nail polish and he even asked me last night again. If you guys were in this situation what would you do, and if anyone has had an experience like this before could you guys tell me what you did.

I agree with The Colonel that wearing nial polish/varnish is something most boys do not do, but if your son wants to wear it, what's the harm? It's not permanent like a tatoo or a piercing. At 15 it's important to keep the communication open with him. Allowing him to wear nail polish/varnish will show him that you are willing to allow him some freedom of expression so long as he discusses it with you first.

There is truth here. Open lines of communication are vital between parents and children. However, the parent should seek to understand why a child is interested in something, and base their decision upon that and other factors such as age and level of maturity.

[Guest12345]

Well lve taught about this long and hard and you guys are right, it is probably just a phase and l have to keep the line of communication open with my son. So l have decided to allow him to wear nail polish, however he does not know this yet. The next time l plan on doing my nails l'll ask him if he wants his done too. Anyone want to recommend any colours? or how l should bring it up?

[The Colonel]

Well lve taught about this long and hard and you guys are right, it is probably just a phase and l have to keep the line of communication open with my son. So l have decided to allow him to wear nail polish, however he does not know this yet. The next time l plan on doing my nails l'll ask him if he wants his done too. Anyone want to recommend any colours? or how l should bring it up?

Have you found out why?

[Guest]

Have you found out why?

Does it matter that much? Do you ask your child why on one particular day he puts the left shoe on before the right or the right before the left? Perhaps you are falling into the trap of reading too much into it - maybe he simply feels like it, and that's that.

[The Colonel]

Have you found out why?

Does it matter that much? Do you ask your child why on one particular day he puts the left shoe on before the right or the right before the left? Perhaps you are falling into the trap of reading too much into it - maybe he simply feels like it, and that's that.

I think it's important to understand why. In doing so, you understand more about your children do you not?

If a child likes football, is it unreasonable to enquire why they like it? Potentially, you might gain some information which might be of use.

It certainly does no harm to ask.

[Guest]

what you 'believe' is only your uneducated opinion and not scientific fact

So then ignoramous what 'are' the scientific facts about lads of 15 wearing nail varnish - enlightnen me.

i don't know the scientific facts and never said i did. i'm not the one telling parents what they should and should not do and what is right and wrong in how they raise their kids, like you have done. you are the one calling people names for pointing out that you are unqualified by education or experience in parenting or child psychology to make such statements. who is the 'ignoramus' then?