there is no explanation for what he has done. These liars are good and nothing they say can be trusted. They have no problem with what they say and they say it enough that they believe it. It is a horrible situation but consider yourself lucky b/c you don't have kids yet. I have been with my husband for a long time and married for over 10 years. His lies become more spectacular every year. He apologizes, cries and I eventually let him back into my circle of trust. He has broken it every time!! I know he will never change. I have decided to stay b/c we have 3 kids and I don't want them to have to go to daycare and be carted back and forth. I can't say that I will always feel this way, but for now I am staying. It sucks b/c if I had known I would have never married him. But that's the thing about liars, they are good and they know what to say and what you want to hear and they are only to happy to accomodate you.
I'm sorry that you have gone through this, but chin up it will get better and don't lose hope. There are decent people out there. I live in the states so this kind of compulsive liar thing happening goes beyond geography. It's worldwide!!!
Andrea&Mike wrote:I have been reading with interest the posts above. I have just found out on Monday night that the man I have been practically living with and loving for the past 8/9 months has in fact been seeing another woman for 6 years (according to her). I feel like a fool as I believed everytime I was told I love you, you are my life, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want us to have three daughters. The counselor I have been speaking to has said that this man sound likes a pathological liar, which is how I came across this forum. I don't understand how someone can spend everynight at home with me and then go and see another woman during the day and also work as a British Transport Policeman? His ongoing statement of "honey, when would I have time to see someone else, I'd never want anyone else but you, you're my world" would ring true everytime I questioned him, especially with our romantic nights away, him usually always being home for dinner and how much effort he put into our relationship - learning how to communicate better, doing special things to show he loved me etc.. but the constant text messages that would come through and the way he would guard his phone always had me suspicious. He also claimed to be visiting his daughter some Sundays, God the arguements he created around that, when in fact according to his "girlfriend" he hasn't see his daughter in years! It seems like there have just been lies build upon lies built upon lies - yet it is hard not to believe him when he says that I have changed his life and I mean more than anything else in the world to him... Apparantly he would be lost without me *raising an eyebrow* I'm interested to hear from anyone that has any idea as to how to get over such a betrayal? I for one am not coping very well and am stunned that this other woman isn't sure if she still wants to be with him or not?? I have never felt so loved or so wanted by anyone in my life - how is it that I am so stupid that I could not see that this was all lies?? I actually believed him when he told so many times that he had "finally found THE one for him and that none of his past relationships can compare to what we have". The thing that stings the most is that I held him at arms length for the first 2 months as I had trust issues and he worked so hard to turn that around & get me to trust him. He worked it so well that I moved into a flat near his work at Paddington so it was a short 5 mins walk home for him & we created a lovely home, exactly what he wanted to be able to "come home and chill out with my baby and be in her arms... water our 'practice child' Fred the plant that he bought for our room". God I am an idiot. How do you get past something like this, how do you move on... how can you ever trust again. I talk to the guys here at work and nearly all of them cheat on their wives - are all British men this disloyal? The thing I'm struggling with now is that after having him in tears the other day at the thought of losing me he is now refusing to explain any of what he has done - am I wrong for wanting an explanation so desperately?
