female advice

[mb]

i've had a few relationships come to an end and yet to have someone "get in touch" out of the blue so my girlie view is she wants you back. max b

[Absmax]

The reason why she has contacted you now is because she wants to meet someone else (or already has) and wants to know what she did wrong last time so that she doesn't make the same mistakes again. She has left it this long because her emotional coping style is to ignore things that would cause her psychological pain. The time in between you breaking up and her contacting you was how long it took her to get strong enough to deal with whatever faults you may point out about her. Sounds like the break up hit her hard if she has left it this long. She is looking for reassurance from you that she is capable of being a good girlfriend and it wasn't all her fault. If during your relationship she never criticised you or argued with you she probably was unable to tell you her side of why SHE thinks it went wrong and things that YOU did that led to the breakup. Listen, share your reasons for the breakup, accept them, then move on, cutting all contact, for both of you.

[al-guest]

absmax, thanks for the explanation. she actually has a on-off relationship with some guy. very much a rebound thing i'm sure. i bet she complained to him about why things didn't work out and he told her to go and seek closure. word on the street is that he's cooling down ( his parents don't care for her ) and she's not a happy bunny

the full story is in the "just for men" forum under "i need some good advice" have a look if you get the chance and tell me what you think.
thanks, al

[Dancer]

What's happened Al? As her or you contacted one another?

[Guest]

Dancer

No contact which maybe isn't a bad thing as the relationship was fiery. But two people have quizzed me about what happened. It was a weird type of questioning; sort of probing not just general chit chat. I've heard that her current guy has twice tried to dump her but I gather they're still together - at the moment. I know her new mans cousin and he was quizzing me too. Apparently his parents haven't taken to her so that is usually a death knell for any relationship. Thanks for asking

[zip_dj]

Past is gone

[Secret]

She must like her man, else she wouldn't be with him, as for things going round the 'street' these could just be rumours!

I agree with max, if you are going to do something, do it now, before it's too late and you may be the one who's regretting everything

[birdie3]

i would say it's time to move on................

[iknow]

Well we women are stubborn bitches, and she probably won't contact you again, well that is until you contact her!

How old is she?

[Guest]

she's 37 and v v v stubborn. don't expect to hear from her but i'm sure if i texted her it would set off a chain of hundreds. she may want me back but on her terms and i'm not prepared for that !!

[secret]

See you're expecting that off her! If you sent her a text then she would keep on constantly texting you?. Well this may not be the case, people change and she's probably learned from that mistake!

[guest]

Not an expert, but hey! Who is??!!
If she's treating her current blokey like that, do you really want to get mixed up with all that? try to keep the past in the past.

[rachael]

Do you have a girlfriend at the moment Al?

[Guest]

yes, and i'm v content but my 6th sense says she's going to make her presence felt. she's too vain to contact me. actually, i don't want her back...........my current g/f is better for me

[iknow]

Is your current girlfriend like your ex?