Help, my boyfriend is turning himself into a sissy

[gbjessflrt]

I don't know what to do. I encouraged it at first because it turned me on a little and I thought it was harmless. But now he's taking big steps that are obvious and making me a uncomfortable. Some time ago at his request, I got him a full body wax and he has kept bare ever since, even during summer wearing shorts around our friends. I was prepared to cover for him if asked though no one did. Next, he bought a drawer full of panties and through away his boxers. Now he is on to wearing women's shorts and jeans in public (earthtones at least but they look obvious to me). Last week took the cake, he was late coming home so I went out without him. He joined me and friends at a bar later. I noticed something was odd but couldn't place what until one of my friends whispered to me when he went to the bathroom, "did he just get his eyebrows waxed, my god they are thinner than mine." My heart sank, that was it. I got a good look when he returned and he got my glares back, they were more shapely than any woman's at the table. That wasn't all either, when we got back home, he waited buck naked for me in the bedroom, he had gone to the tanning bed wearing my two piece bikini! I didn't know whether to strangle him or just laugh hysterically and leave. So, I told him how unhappy I was about all his treatments today and told him not to do it again. I care for him a great deal and he is warm and loving. I just don't know what to do about his behavior especially when he is doing things intentionally to be noticed by others that I don't want to have to answer to. Has anyone had to deal with this? Help, I need advice on how to proceed.

[baby-button]

this doesn't seem right.... may i ask how old he is, how does he usually dress and what did he say when you told him how uncomfortably you felt.
he could be bi-sexual.
XxX

[SharonJOC]

You could have some fun with it. When he's in the shower, lay out a complete outfit for him. lingerie, hose, dress, heels, the works. If he gets into it happily you know what he wants. But just think, if you wear the same size he can buy some of your clothes!

[Buffed]

If he really likes it, you may have opened something up for him.

About the only thing you can do is talk to him, but don't get upset or make into a fight because he'll only get defensive and nothing will be resolved. See just how much he likes it and why. Let him know you are not comfortable with it and find it unattractive and see if he will stop for you. If he won't, there really isn't much choice for you but to leave, unfortunately. You can't force someone to change (though I know you women love to try. ).

[Tina TV]

It certainly doesn't make him gay. I should know

Talk to him about it but don't be confrontational. It might be attention seeking
or simply a desire to have a bit more excitement in his life. You have to talk,
just telling him you don't want him to do things will just drive it underground
and reinforce the desire.

If you're uncomfortable with him doing things in public what about doing a few
more things at home? Dress him up and have a "ladies maid" for the evening.
Perhaps you'd like a foot massage or some other service he doesn't normally
like. As the maid he can't refuse you

If you're resonably happy in public take him to some safe clubs. Better that
you go with him to a controlled environment than he sneaks off on his own.


If all else fails you may have found a new shopping and clubing companion

[gbjessflrt]

I don't care so much except for the impact on me and my friendships. Not sure how they are taking to his appearance and I don't want them to start on ten reasons for me to go out with someone else... He's really into it but paying enormous attention to me. I told him no more trips to the salon without my permission but I can tell he is still tanning in the two piece. He confessed a lot the other night when I had his full attention! He wants me to embarass him more in public with what "I" pick out for him to wear and by taking him shopping and for a french pedicure. Oh my. It sounds fun but nothing like my boyfriends ever asked me before, whew!

[azraelle]

He is primarily a masochist, who uses the societal crossdressing taboo as a vehicle for his desire to be humiliated, especially in public. (He is also a reverer of women in general, and femininity in particular--he may have had a particularly overbearing father--probably more psychological rather than physical--and a subservient mother) I wonder if an early granting of his wishes, in a "full bore" way, along with some self-esteem counseling, might help him to adopt a more "healthy" way of viewing himself. Yes it is unhealthy, because it is ultimately self-destructive, as are most addictions. It has taken me nearly 40 years to realize this in my own life.

[azraelle]

I speak from my own experience, BTW, not as a psychologist.

[gbjessflrt]

Well, some is masochistic, he wants to be considred as an inferior, including to me. But I don't think he has a self-destructive bo ne in his/her body, very responsible and professional work wise. He went out with the "guys" tonight and when he gets home we had planned on playing dress up. I think I am going to work this to my advantage. If he wants to do certain things he will have to pay the price for it, I got lots of favors coming I know!

Well, back to the question, how do I deal with my girlfriends when I have fallen for a sissy boy?

[Buffed]

He is primarily a masochist, who uses the societal crossdressing taboo as a vehicle for his desire to be humiliated, especially in public. (He is also a reverer of women in general, and femininity in particular--he may have had a particularly overbearing father--probably more psychological rather than physical--and a subservient mother) I wonder if an early granting of his wishes, in a "full bore" way, along with some self-esteem counseling, might help him to adopt a more "healthy" way of viewing himself. Yes it is unhealthy, because it is ultimately self-destructive, as are most addictions. It has taken me nearly 40 years to realize this in my own life.

If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done? If pain is pleasure, is it really pain?

I can't really see how people can be addicted to humiliation. Seems to me they aren't really being humiliated, but rather, enjoying themselves and being the center of attention.

Cross wired extroversion?

Either way, waxing and pedicures aren't something that brings humiliation. They are accepted socially, look good, and get you more attention from the ladies. And even some slightly negative attention could be turned into a positive (say with toe nail polish for example).

I think he'd have to go full blown TV for the effect you think he's seeking. And even if you're right, in time, it will just become the norm. Then what?

[gbjessflrt]

I really appreciate the input. I think he is progressive in his interests but I am torn because we are having a lot of fun together. Oh, I am planning on a makeup night, soon if not tonight. Bottom line, I think I am sleeping next to my "servant" and am enjoying that feeling for a change. I am still worried about my friends and want to smooth that over. I am going to enjoy his situation and putting him in his place with his own desires. He cares for my interests so I guess I should count myself lucky.

[UKGent]

If they truely are your friends then they will accept the situation and back you all the way with your relationship. Good friends will also tell you any doubts or concerns they have and then leave it at that, they wont keep going on about it.

The friends who keep going on about it and keep putting doubts in your mind, they are not really friends then are they.

[Silver]

I agree with the previous post, if they are true friends they should be aiming to keep your best interests at heart. Also be careful not to get taken in by your own fears. By this I mean don't let your own fears and worries manifest into something that may not even be there. Some of your friends may never notice any of the changes he is going through.

It does sound as though his desire is getting stronger and stronger and if so that is something you need to decide if you can work with. At the end of the day you must also be comfortable with how you are reacting to his desires and the only other piece I may be able to offer is this: As long as you both love each other and treat each other with respect, honesty and openness then this could be a truly wonderful relationship.

[gbjessflrt]

Maybe I was overreacting and being paranoid about what my friends think. He's very special to me and that is all that matters. Well, it would help if he came home at a decent hour. My plans for last night changed a bit when he came home from his guys night out late and drunk. At least the event and the result aren't typical for him so I wasn't mad, just dissappointed when he passed out on the couch. I was just disspointed at first since our latenight plans had been altered, then I thought, why don't I just proceed? It will teach him a nice lesson and we can have fun with it tomorrow. I stripped him down to his panties (not easy) and he didn't budge. His tanlines are coming right along I saw by the way. It took a while but when I was finished he wore waterproof mascara, eyeliner and shadow and an adorable pink lipstick. The kicker was that I glued acrylic nails (french manicure predones) to his nails and did a good job too I might add and painted his toes a hot pink. He was a sight to see when he woke up and noticed his nails, his jaw hit the floor when he saw himself in the mirror! He loved it! I didn't want all my work to go for nothing so I told him he had to keep it up for the next few days while off work and picked out some outfits for him. This is fun, he's like a little kitten now!

[Silver]

Like putty in your hand. Well done