Hookers

[Lola]

No man, or woman for that matter, is perfect.

''My perfect man'' ? I don't think in those terms

[Lola]

To put it short,i don't mind men having sex with hookers,i just don't want to have relationships with men who see sex as a commodity; that's my preference.

Men can have sex with as many hookers as they like,if that's what they choose and it makes them happy.

[mostirreverent]

Now,please explain the race comment,as that really threw me off ?

You said men were stereotypical of themselves. That implies that they are all the same except for you ubermen. That we all possess the same base qualities. Would you substitute and say “The average black is also naturally a stereotype, I don't need to stereotype, as he does a perfect job by himself.”

In general, I have been attempting to say that most men are not that far from either doing it or not thinking there is much wrong with it for them.

I may be arguing both ways, but aside from catching something, there is not a lot about hookers that seems so bad for most men, all men. I have a particular aversion to the subjugation by woman’s charms that it may be harder for me to ever do it, but I think that reason is seldom in the minds of men.

[Lola]

You said men were stereotypical of themselves.

I think you can find stereotypes everywhere.I could even come up with a stereotype of myself.

Besides,i didn't say ''men'',i said the average man,did i not ? There is a difference.

That implies that they are all the same except for you ubermen.

No,it doesn't.To me it is just a rational viewing of peoples behaviour relating to their peergroups.I think it should be apparent from my post that i don't see one type of man generally superior to the other ! See,that is your false assumption.I say i wouldn't want a relationship with a man who has seen a hooker because of the way that type of man views sex;that is merely my preference.If a man likes seeing sex as a commodity,that's his preference.Does it mean i have to have a relationship with that type of man ? No.

That we all possess the same base qualities.

I do believe that people in peergroups possess a few or many,depending on the peergroup,base qualities,naturally.

Would you substitute and say “The average black is also naturally a stereotype, I don't need to stereotype, as he does a perfect job by himself.”

No,i wouldn't.I might say,the average black rapper has certain stereotypical qualities.

Stereotype can mean: ''One that is regarded as embodying or conforming to a set image or type'',which is,figuratively speaking,most of us.

In general, I have been attempting to say that most men are not that far from either doing it or not thinking there is much wrong with it for them.

I haven't been saying anything else.

I may be arguing both ways, but aside from catching something, there is not a lot about hookers that seems so bad for most men, all men. I have a particular aversion to the subjugation by woman’s charms that it may be harder for me to ever do it, but I think that reason is seldom in the minds of men.

You can't include all men.Many men,definately,most men,maybe,all men,no.You can speak for the men who think like you but not all men do
(and yes,i have said a few times that many,and maybe most,men do think like you).

[Lola]

Concerning my relationships and the mens thoughts on having sex with hookers ...

One man of mine is not even remotely interested in the thought of having real sex (or any sexual interaction) with a hooker.It's me (uh huh) who has said,why not go and see what it's like to get a handjob,blowjob from a hooker ? He's not interested in the idea of having sexual interaction with a person he doesn't love; the only exception would be a ''free'' (ie. not having to pay) threesome with a woman of our choice (non hooker)
for our shared pleasure,and that isn't even a need of his,if anything,it's more a need of mine.

The other,a very open man sexually,wouldn't want to have sex with a hooker because to him it would equal rape.His words.


See,it's not as if these topics don't arise,we talk freely and openly about them,but nice to see how people sometimes interpretate things said.
I am beginning to think interpretations of things said often say more about the person interpretating them,than the person whose words they are interpretating.Very interesting find !

[Lola]

Another thing,concerning ''but if they say they don't want it,doesn't have to mean they are telling the truth'' ...

Of course.

Your husband could be a rapist,a serial killer or even a pedophile,for all we know,but how are you ''sure'' he isn't ! ?

You can never be 100% sure

but there are indicators that draw an outline on the reasonability of the certain possibilities,for instance,what kind of relationship do you lead ? Do you talk about your fantasies ? How much time is spent together ? Do things being said and things being done match or are there big discrepancies ? etc.There are many ways to find out,if a person is telling the truth or not (sometimes people aren't even sure about what their own truths are,they have to experience and then learn to define their truths, but that is a different topic).

Another thing important in a relationship is trust.A hard one,i admit.
I am under the impression that many have the expectations for a partner to be honest,faithful,open,and yet have problems with these exact things.You can't expect honesty,openness and faithfulness,if you don't invest in these things yourself,aswell as trust.

[Lola]

As for,why do many men seek hookers ?
There are numerous reasons,beginning from the easy access to sex,to not getting fantasies fulfilled at home,and beyond.

Here a short excerpt on one of the reasons,taken from internet ...

Why do so many men pay for sexworkers ...
The sought after "GFE" (Girl Friend Experience)

I've actually had quite a few clients explain it to me this way: "I want to be with a woman, I want to touch her and have sex with her. I want to have a wonderful time with her, and for the time we're together, I want it to feel like I care for her and she cares for me. BUT, in the morning, I want to wake up alone in my bed, I want to go in to my office, and I DO NOT want to have to worry about calling someone in the morning or about going home to be grilled about what I did with my friends Friday night. I want the physical pleasure without the responsibility of a relationship, and I'm willing to pay for it."

A new kettle of fish.

[mostirreverent]

O.K. agreed. It was just that I read “naturally a stereotype,i don't need to stereotype,as he does a perfect job by himself.” As you were saying men were caricatures

[Lola]

O.K. agreed. It was just that I read “naturally a stereotype,i don't need to stereotype,as he does a perfect job by himself.” As you were saying men were caricatures

As ''if'' i was saying,right ? No,i was talking about a certain type of man.I'm not one of those women who think all men are a certain way.
People who do a ''perfect job'' of living a stereotype can be found everywhere,it's not limited to ''the average man'',and like i said,we all can be stereotyped and categorised by our behaviours,and more,at times.

[Reger]

Desperate men take desperate measures, personally i think it's ashame. But if that's what they were/are into then so be it. But I would never go with a guy who had been with a hooker before . That's just smelly.

[xlaurax88x]

I think it depends if it was way b4 u got together then it shouldnt both u. but if he did when u where together he'd b gone so fast.

[Nynaeve]

I think it depends if it was way b4 u got together then it shouldnt both u. but if he did when u where together he'd b gone so fast.

Agreed. I wouldn't mind he slept with a hooker, as long as he doens't do it when we are involved. That would be cheating, as simple as that.

[Rachel Janssen]

Hookers..... didn't they get Hugh Grant arrested??
http://www.mugshots.org/hollywood/hugh-grant.jpg

Who remembers the Divine Brown arrest in 1995???
That was a classic headline!!

Oh, and what do you think of the Michael Jackson trial??

[MaxtheGaul]

One man of mine ... The other,...

So Lola, do I take it that you have relationships with two men? How does that work out?

[Lola]

One man of mine ... The other,...

So Lola, do I take it that you have relationships with two men? How does that work out?

Why do you want to know ?
What does it have to do with this thread ?
What exactly do you mean by ''How'' ?