elliott20 wrote:
1. I fail to see how what is essentially fantasy denotes that it's okay to cheat in a relationship. Would you consider it cheating if you were to drool over a male model?
i don't drool over male models. not my style. if i am with a man, i want to be with him in every way. that's unlike men who look at porn, who would quite happily sleep with every girl they look at if they could manage it.
In the same way that male strippers reduce a man down to his physical body and looks alone.
yes - and that is what i find so objectionable. 'stripping' is right - reducing him of his internal worth and everything he is about, to view him instead as basically a piece of meat.
how does lesbian porn/gay porn factor into this for you?
male gay porn is objectifying and degrading. but at last the person on the receiving end has a measure of autonomy in that he is catering to a sexuality he is partial to and understands (male sexuality). Women doing porn are often clueless as to the attraction of what they are doing, but servilely continue with it, in the hope of receiving affirmation from men. As one veeteran porn star said ' men will always want porn, and women will always do porn, but they'll never understand why'.
At least men in gay porn get an inkling of what it's like to be bombarded with images on every top shelf that imply you're ready to be put out to pasture in terms of sexual attractiveness once you're past 23. But middle aged men can go on to assume the dominant role in hetero porn. Women don't even get that. The average "career" for a woman lasts 18 months.
Lesbian porn? You can tell lesbo porn that has been produced for men. It is extremely stagey and contrived. I usually get the impression the girls there don't have a clue why they are there, and are very definitely putting on an act. Genuine lesbian porn made for lesbians by lesbians is often offputting to men, as indeed, are the realities of lesbian life.
But most people who have a normal social life outside of just porn will probably realize that pornography is not reality, and should not be used as a guide as to what is normal in real life.
Each and every man who has been or is addicted to porn is starting to 'alter' his perception of the dividing line between these two. Very often men do make sexually unwelcome comments in inappropriate settings...