Husbands & Porn??

[Buffy]

Geez, must be one of k9's red dot calander dayz. Doesnt take much to get you goining, does it?

I think that "pleasedontyell" has some very valid points. From the sounds of things he in the latter part of his life, and if my mate was still interested in sex at that age, I wouldnt care how or what got him off; me or the porn.

As for the referal to the Anal thread, you lead K9, Ill follow with my StrapOn!

[Tracy Edwards]

Hey K9, fancy a round or two with some hard-core sailing fanatics? I know a group that would jump at the opportunity to pile drive your S***-shack and tell you filthy regatta stories.

[k9trainingbiz]

pleasedontyellatme wrote:

"There have been times when I'm tired...just plain tired...but she puts the magazine in front of me and says 'look at this' and I just can't help it...." Now, what you are seeing there cutie is someone saying that the horrible porn is causing an erection that I did not want, and it was started by my wife putting that horrible porn in front of my face.

O god, the humanity!!

You didn't hear me saying "honey, we've already driven the tuna truck to pork town four times today, could I see some more porn so we could make another trip?"

No, I didn't. This is what I heard:

We're back to several times a week, which at my age is a minor miracle.

Is a week one day long? (4 to me indicates "several")

Still experiencing a bit of cognitive dissonance?

Why, yes. Yes I am.

As far as saying no once in a while, let me give you some advice about getting older.

I'm 40.

Never waste a hardon and never trust a fart. I don't know how much time I have left on this earth. When I get a hardon, I put it to good use.

And this is a bad thing?

The only problem is that I seem to be being manipulated into getting them through the use of that horrible porn.

If you are that easily manipulated and trained, it's your own fault, not hers. We were all born with free will.

Get your husband away from the porn or the next thing you know, he'll be performing like a trained seal!

That's just it - he DOESN'T perform with her; only by himself. Haven't you learned yet what her problem is?

It's always about you isn't it?

Um, no I didn't start this thread!

I know this is a hard concept for some little ladies to grasp, but sometimes, other people have different viewpoints. Sometimes when they do, they title their posts with some variation of the words "different view."

True you do have different views on porn. Two of them, in fact. First it's good, saves your sex life, and then it's bad becuase it gives you an erection you don't want.

Perhaps a trip to theAnal thread is in order, to clear that head up.

I agree. Would you like a referral?

Ah yes, now we see the teachings of the "I know you are but what am I" School of Argument. Bravo. This is more exciting than porn!

Oops! My mistake. Since you weren't clear as to who you were talking about, I thought you were referring to yourself.

Oh, and thanks for the compliment!!! It is much more fun, isn't it?

[PleaseDontYell]

Wait a minute! This isn't argument, this is just contradiction! I paid for an argument!

[427v8]

Wait a minute! This isn't argument, this is just contradiction! I paid for an argument!

Oh Sorry! You want room 12 b then. Good Day.

[Canadiangurl]

i didnt think my post would get some much feed back.. some i didnt quite get but anyway...i agreed with a lot of you.. its not porn i have a problem with i acually enjoy watching it as a couple its fun.. and tempts us to do things we normally dont... its this sneaking around behind my back the lying is what i hate.. and to be honest i dont want him watching it alone EVER... magazines im ok with but real live porn is just tooo close to acually sex.. and i cant compare to it or even try.. have anyone you seen the new virtual sex pornos? when i saw those on my hubbys computer i was fumming mad. they are unreal... you cant see any man in the movie its all woman saying things like ( i love you C*$&K..F&*^k me harder etc.......) im sorry i want to be the only woman that says that to my husband..

i have a huge problem with even the way he make love to me.. and i have tried to tell him in a nice way.. that the way we have sex is always like a porno.. and tried to explain to him thats not the way real couples have sex.. he is constaly asking me to do things he has seen in movies.. and up untill i found out about his HABIT i was always up for it.. and i mean up for it.. even right down to the C*m on my face.. but now when he asks me i wonder is he just asking me this because its all he likes to watch i feel more like his TOOL then a partner in our bedroom.. and the sad thing is. i rarley get off.. cause he says i take to long to orgasim... can you believe it?? Sorry im not a porn star who "CumS" as soon and a penis enters her... which really isnt true.. he has even had the nerve to say i suck in bed.. im just at the end of my rope and heartbroken over the whole thing.. i just dont know what to do anymore...
thanks for listening to me whine and complain

[427v8]

Oh Not good.
Porn is one thing but the way he's treating you is another.

I watch as much porn as anyone, but the wife is made to cum untill she says stop ( or most likely "F*** me" ) I don't care how long it takes.

I think it's time you start controlling the sex. Nothing for him untill you are ready. In fact everything he does must be to please you. If not. Stop and tell him that either he pays proper attention to you or your done.

Then YOU can go watch the porn movie

[k9trainingbiz]

I'm even sorrier to hear how he is treating you in bed. *shudder*

I know you won't take this advice, but I think you should leave him. Do you really think he is going to change? He obviously has no love or respect for you. Unfortunately, you are nothing more than a blow up doll to him.

How does he treat you outside the bedroom? I can't imagine it's much better; sex is usually equivalent to how people feel about one another in a marriage. He is abusing you.

Do yourself a favor and dump this loser. Don't throw away the rest of YOUR life for HIM. You're more important than that.

[horny_girl2]

U SHOULDNT WORRY MOST MEN DO

[mostirreverent]

I have to ask this as i've thought about it quite a lot lately.
If a man came home to find his wife masturbating over the image of another man would he think it was healthy and not a threat to his ego or the relationship?
The porn industry is aimed at men for men so I suppose we can't find out. When my husband found out i'd found his porn and had been watching it he got angry. Strikes me as a little hypocritical I think. Its easy for men to say not to worry and that all men do it and that women should just except it and put up with it. They don't have to put up with their wife getting off on the images of other men's c****s. I'm sorry to sound so graphic but the porn industry is graphic. I don't think men realize women have egos just as fragile as theirs and if men don't like their girlfriends looking at other guys they shouldn't make their girlfriends put up with it.

i would love that. i would also hope she would do it while watching me.

[mostirreverent]

well it all started about a year ago when i found a whole bunch of videos on my husbands computer.. i was mad as hell..since then he has promised he would stop and has lied to me about stoping..no he has become VERY good at hiding it.. its gotten so bad that if i take the kids to the park durring the day.. he comes home on his lunch break to watch it.. i have walked in on it a few times.. he stays up later than me to watch it.. and says he didnt but i know cause he only takes his wedding ring off when he is up later than me.. i assume the ring gets in the way of masterbating(he is left handed).... i hate the dishonesty i dont in anyway expect him to not masterbate but i just dont see the need of porn.. i see it as a form of cheating.. i am always up for having sex so i dont get it..im at the end of my rope and im considering leaving him over it. im not sure what kind of response i want here but it just feels good to talk about it.. a few times before i confronted him about it and he had said its his right to look at it and i couldnt stop him.. then after a few more fights and me saying i was going to leave he says he wont do it again...so i think he is just saying it to get me off his back... i am holding a lot of resentment toward him about it.. and i just dont know what to do how do all the other women here think about porn in a marriage??
thanks

You say you are always up for sex, does he know that? Many women say no more than yes and so consequently many men give up. They stop asking and just take care of themselves. What acts will you not do? Is his porn centered on those acts?
Does he rebuff you advances. How do you ask him for sex. If you were to get on you knees in the kitchen and say “come here, I have somewhere for you to put your C***” what would he do.

can you come? sex without that can seem like work. he may not want to do something that seems not to have and endpoint.

[bassplayer06]

well he sounds like he is all in it for himself and gives 2cents of S*** what you get out of it does he not realize that the girls in the video's don't even really cum?? they fake it all b/cuz they have to shoot each scene like 10 different views..maybe dont be nice about it jsut tell him if he can't fullfill your needs how are you suppose to be open to anynew positions idea's and so forth for him..if he isn't willing you shouldn't either

[Guest]

screw all these answers about porn is okay...blah blah....porn is okay to an extent...but when it is hurting your partners feelings in anyway that one posses is and uses it...its trash. im in the same boat and my husband doesnt get it.....i dont know what to do either....my opinions never count when it come to that subject.

[sally wey]

well it all started about a year ago when i found a whole bunch of videos on my husbands computer.. i was mad as hell..since then he has promised he would stop and has lied to me about stoping..no he has become VERY good at hiding it.. its gotten so bad that if i take the kids to the park durring the day.. he comes home on his lunch break to watch it.. i have walked in on it a few times.. he stays up later than me to watch it.. and says he didnt but i know cause he only takes his wedding ring off when he is up later than me.. i assume the ring gets in the way of masterbating(he is left handed).... i hate the dishonesty i dont in anyway expect him to not masterbate but i just dont see the need of porn.. i see it as a form of cheating.. i am always up for having sex so i dont get it..im at the end of my rope and im considering leaving him over it. im not sure what kind of response i want here but it just feels good to talk about it.. a few times before i confronted him about it and he had said its his right to look at it and i couldnt stop him.. then after a few more fights and me saying i was going to leave he says he wont do it again...so i think he is just saying it to get me off his back... i am holding a lot of resentment toward him about it.. and i just dont know what to do how do all the other women here think about porn in a marriage??
thanks

Hi, first same old line, both men and women like watching porn, but when a man lies about it then you have a problem,, without trust there is no relationship, this way is worst than going out and having an affair, its in the home, tell him straight that you dont mind the porn but hates the lying about it, love Sally

[davian]

I hesitate to get involved only to be shot down in flames but I would like to venture some observations if I may.

Regarding secret porn, I‘ve found one problem to be that the more forbidden it becomes the more exciting & attractive it appears. The times in my life when I’ve found myself using it the most were when I wasn’t supposed to be doing so. Otherwise, I tend to prefer the real thing or else fantasies that come from my imagination.

It would seem to me from Canadiangurl’s posts that the bigger issue is her husband’s continued deception & that his sexuality appears completely separate from hers. I’ve been in a not dissimilar position to her husband in past relationships & ultimately in my case it has been a major cause of relationship breakdown. Ultimately I took my situation seriously & now I avoid deception & I try to be clear & honest about how much of my sexuality is shared with my partner, but regrettably I didn’t achieve this in time to save the previous relationships it affected.

PleaseDontYell seems to be in a position where his wife now controls the timing & frequency of the sex in their relationship, through the medium of porn. Maybe she likes the power involved in this & perhaps he should consider if he likes her to have such power. Some men would & others wouldn’t. The fact that he is responding sexually, despite his complaints & after previously having problems doing so with her, makes me wonder if a part of him at least is turned on by her more obvious control of their sex life.