Jeremy Kyle- why is he such a tosser?

[FrankiePaul]

I try to watch this fool , but he's so up his own back passage I cant take more than 10 minutes of him ? Does anyone love him or hate him?

[littlegiggles]

Hate him! His show is for trashy losers with fewer teeth than their shoe size.

He thinks he's tough because his gimmick is to shout in their faces then retreat and hide behind his security staff. A show doesn't go by without him screaming at someone that if it was he was in their shoes he'd have chosen the path of wisdom and morality. Bad single mother, Bad!

It's easy to feel superior to the scum he has on his show. It particularly pisses me off the way he tries to clump all drugs together as equally bad, so if he finds out someone smokes the odd joint, he's all "If you start injecting that marijuana, you'll be sniffing heroin by next week!"

These kind of talk shows are trash anyway. They aren't there to resolve problems, they're all about airing dirty laundry in public so people can say they've been on telly. Give me Dr Phil any day, he actually sorts problems out!

[Guest]

Hate him! His show is for trashy losers with fewer teeth than their shoe size.

He thinks he's tough because his gimmick is to shout in their faces then retreat and hide behind his security staff. A show doesn't go by without him screaming at someone that if it was he was in their shoes he'd have chosen the path of wisdom and morality. Bad single mother, Bad!

It's easy to feel superior to the scum he has on his show. It particularly pisses me off the way he tries to clump all drugs together as equally bad, so if he finds out someone smokes the odd joint, he's all "If you start injecting that marijuana, you'll be sniffing heroin by next week!"

These kind of talk shows are trash anyway. They aren't there to resolve problems, they're all about airing dirty laundry in public so people can say
they've been on telly. Give me Dr Phil any day, he actually sorts problems out!

You're so right ! If you went on there saying " I'm a one legged lesbian, with a cleft palate, a wooden arm and one eye. You can bet your bottom dollar that JK would know someone like that or someone in his family has exactly the same . You just wish that the trailer trash he has on there would shout back " F*** off you tosser" ... you never know , it could happen !

[littlegiggles]

I'd love it if somebody just bitchslapped the bugger in the middle of one of his self righteous tirades.

Oi, Jeremy, NOOOOOOOOOO! You're a smug b***** in a cheap shiny suit, stop pretending to care about feuding dropouts from council states and go advertise Cillit Bang in your shouty voice or something. Tw@t.

[Guest]

I'd love it if somebody just bitchslapped the bugger in the middle of one of his self righteous tirades.

Oi, Jeremy, NOOOOOOOOOO! You're a smug b***** in a cheap shiny suit, stop pretending to care about feuding dropouts from council states and go advertise Cillit Bang in your shouty voice or something. Tw@t.

Cillit Bang! That is funny..he's so effin patronising its not true

[snoasis]

do you know he used to work on radio years ago&his station did the first competition where they get two strangers to marry who have never met, so the two strangers married, then divorced(obviously!!)&he married the woman in the end!! just thought i'd share that with you!!

oh yeah...he is a patronising tosser with a cheap shitty studio!! theres about 20 people in the audience!!

[Guest]

do you know he used to work on radio years ago&his station did the first competition where they get two strangers to marry who have never met, so the two strangers married, then divorced(obviously!!)&he married the woman in the end!! just thought i'd share that with you!!

oh yeah...he is a patronising tosser with a cheap shitty studio!! theres about 20 people in the audience!!

Really?!!!!!!!! And he's got the brass neck to be so moralistic?!! What gets me is when he says to some toothless, uneducated bint " you're so brave, dont u agree ladeeze and gen'lmen" . Pulezeeee give me a break! These fools come on discussing their business and chatting S***! What is brave about that . But I really do think he should be renamed "Mr Cillit Bang " cos that suits him down to a T.

[snoasis]

yeah its true about his marraige!!
the guys a tosser!!
you made me laugh out loud to myself when you said "you're so brave, dont you agree ladies&gentlemen"
the prick ALWAYS says that!!

[Guest]

yeah its true about his marraige!!
the guys a tosser!!
you made me laugh out loud to myself when you said "you're so brave, dont you agree ladies&gentlemen"
the prick ALWAYS says that!!

And what's he's always saying that his brother's a druggie, if I was his brother I would cuss him out for that

[snoasis]

yeah he's a prick!!
he always tells people his families problems!! he must have the most unluckiest family ever!! it seems like every member of his family has got something up with them!! even his sister-in-law!! he tells everyone about her eating disorder, like she wants the nation to know about that!! dick!! i wouldnt marry into that family!! not with the kyle curse!! you become a member of the family&you suddenly drop down dead or get some crazy disease!!

STAY AWAY FROM ANYONE WITH THE SURNAME KYLE FOLKS!!!!

[Guest]

yeah he's a prick!!
he always tells people his families problems!! he must have the most unluckiest family ever!! it seems like every member of his family has got something up with them!! even his sister-in-law!! he tells everyone about her eating disorder, like she wants the nation to know about that!! dick!! i wouldnt marry into that family!! not with the kyle curse!! you become a member of the family&you suddenly drop down dead or get some crazy disease!!

STAY AWAY FROM ANYONE WITH THE SURNAME KYLE FOLKS!!!!

He actually makes Tricia look high-brow!

[cate]

he's HOT!! seriously 4 an older guy! dont u dare diss him! ok, so the ppl on the show are total losers that shud be sent 2 weight watchers, but isn't it great actually having a chat show host who knows wat he's talkin about??
and no i'm not sad cuz i dont watch the show much, SO THERE!!!
xxxxx

[littlegiggles]

Jeremy Kyle: On todays show, we meet girlfriends scared of their violent partners. Let's meet Donna. She's 17, and she says her family doesn't approve of the way she is being treated by her boyfriend, even though she says he's the father of her 4 month old baby. Donna, everybody!

Donna: Yeah but no but yeah but no but it's not Damions fault he headbutted me, it's just the baby might not be his and Mums a slag anyway so shut up!

JK: Welcome to the show, Donna...so you say he headbutted you while you were pregnant?

Donna: Yeah but I was shouting at him, so really, you can see where he was coming from...

JK: You love him even though he hits you? I'll have you know I'D never hit MY wife when she was pregnant with MY child and I'd move HEAVEN AND EARTH to kill anyone with my bare hands who touched MY WOMAN! Why are you with him?

Donna: Cos I love 'iiiim!

JK: Ok, well there are two sides to every story. Let's see what Donnas boyfriend has to say. Damion, everbody!

Audience: BOOOOOOO!

Damion: *walks in grabbing his crotch and sticking two fingers up at the audience* beep you all, you don't even beep know me, she's a beep who's beep all me mates and me brother and me brother said she was nothing compared to my last girlfriend cos she won't even take it in the bum so nurr!

JK: Hello Damion.

Damion: Alreet.

JK: So you er...headbutted her whilst she was preggers?

Damion: Yeah but I was acquitted cos the CCTV camera near maccy D's had a bird poo on it so they had no evidence, innit. So I never did it, did I? Spackers!

JK: But you did headbutt her?

Damion: Yeah but no but you don't understand! Cos my mate Daz says she's been shaggin' everyone and she even gave 'im a gobble in aldi's carpark in return for a swig of 'is White Lightening!

JK: Er...nice. Do you think you're the father to little Tarquin?

Donna: He is!

JK: *screams* I WASN'T ASKING YOU!

Damion: No, cos 'e won't even eat an 'appy meal so 'e can't be mine!

JK: ...wait, I thought he was 4 months old...?

Donna: Shurrup Damion, you know you're 'is Dad cos it's either you, Banksy or your brother, but it couldn't be either of them cos they did me up against a wall and everybody knows sperm can't swim upwards!

JK: *Yelling from the back of the audience* ONE MORE WORD OUT OF YOU AND YOU'LL BE DRAGGED OFF MY STAGE TO BE TEABAGGED BY MY SECURITY STAFF! I'M HARD, Y'KNOW! *Hides*

JK: ..........Ahem....Damion...do you love her?

Damion: Yeah, course. Duh.

JK: and if the baby is yours?

Damion: I'll bring it up to wear burberry and love Man U just like me, innit!

JK: ok, well let's see those DNA tests!

*opens envelope and looks grave*

JK: Donna, you said it was one of three guys. We took DNA samples from all three and matched them against little Tarquin. Are you ready for the results?

Donna: Yeah, I wanna show him he can trust me, innit? cos I love 'iiiim! *pulls chair closer to scowling Damion*

JK: The DNA results show that...Tarquin doesn't belong to any of the men tested.

*Audience erupts with abuse*

Damion: You fookin' slag! i'll fookin' 'ave yer!

Donna: It weren't my fault it was your Dad's!

JK: I'm sensing this is all because of drugs. Is it because of drugs? I bet it's drugs. Is it drugs? Am I right? It's drugs isn't it? Ah go on, it's drugs, isn't it! Is it drugs?

[Clara Onu]

That was sooooooo funny !! You should become a script comedy writer! I had to mail your skit to a friend it made me larf so much ! You got it spot on though! And as for that idiot who thinks JK is hot! Me thinks u takes da piss!

[Guest]

I like JK!! he's honest and good at his job. He and his team provide help for people who definitly need it, so wheres the harm in that?? He only ever shouts when hes being shouted at, and its good that he knows people who have had addictions- it means he lives in the REAL world!!!