nasty mother in law

[tamsin]

Is your mother-in-law always putting you down? Has she tried (or succeeded) in splitting you up? Is no one good enough for her beloved son, least of all you? If this sounds like you, and you're interested in being interviewed for a well-known women's magazine, please email me at tamsink@blueyonder.co.uk or call 020 7502 0732. Many thanks.

[BarbwireFL]

My mother in law is nasty and my husband sides with her on every occasion. Its enough to make me sick. He acts like an idiot to me when she is around and she is a total bitch.

Any one else have husbands like this? I cannot stand him when she is around at all....and I can't stand her. The only good thing is that she is only around once a year.

[emilina]

this mean nasty mother in law of mine is 89 and all she cares about is herself. She has lived her life, yet all of us have to bow down to her nasty butt and kiss it according to her. I am sick and tired of catering to her every stupid useless whim, when I lost my dear angel of a Mother christmas of 1998 and lost my Dad just last year in July of 2005. Both of them suffered terribly in their way and this one is so ungrateful for just being alive. I want nothing to do with her and her nasty ways. She was a BAD mother a lousy wife and the meanest most horrible woman in this world

[Guest]

I'm always having trouble with my soon to be mother in law, I realised yesterday that we are aways going to have conflict, no matter how much I try and keep the peace.

my advice to you, is what I wish I had done a few years ago, let your mother in law know exactly how you feel, don't worry about what you say to her, as long as you stand up to her, and then she won't be able to walk all over you.

why some people have to try and make our lives harder I will never understand, and it often is the case with in laws.

Just make sure your soon to be husbands family has the same values as youself.. If you do not when you have kids it will be total HELL!!!!

[Guest]

My mother in law is nasty and my husband sides with her on every occasion. Its enough to make me sick. He acts like an idiot to me when she is around and she is a total bitch.

Any one else have husbands like this? I cannot stand him when she is around at all....and I can't stand her. The only good thing is that she is only around once a year.

Be happy she is only around once a year.... and remember he was raised in a different enviromnet then you and he acts like an idiot becuase that is the only way he knows how to deal with the situation... And for him to change takes a lot of time ( maybe years) and practice

[seroberts9]

I am 19 and have been engaged to my fiance for 1 year we bought a house together 4 months ago and I have just found out I'm pregnant. I'm so happy. My family has been so supportive and great about the whole thing. My fiance's mum came round after not speaking to me for 2 weeks since she found out. She said that my bf would not be a good dad and told my nan I was lying. I asked her why she had said that she replied all you have done is peed on a stick if your pregnant now you don't know how long it would last! I was upset. My bf cuddled me and made a comment that he couldn't wait till I had a bump she said 'What do you mean she already has one' one of the many comments she has made about my weight even though I am a very healthy size 10-12. Please help I'm young but feel so bullied.

[maryahome]

Now I don't understand why the husbands here don't tell their mothers to kiss off, I mean really, we are the ones they have to go to bed with every night. We are the ones they rely on to raise their children and to keep their houses clean and to do the laundry and the other million chores we do because we love them and want to be good partners for them, so why oh why don't they stand up and demand that their mothers stop insulting us because their mothers are not going to walk in and take over once we stand up and walk out! I mean they're not going to partner them in bed and they're not going to do the hard work of keeping house and raising children are they? No! Are we all in agreement that the worse thing about a bad mother in law is the husband who won't stand up and be the man for us? I am so aggravated I could pull my hair out. Last night my husband had the nerve to tell me that she's not suffering and that Im not suffering, and that the only one suffering here is him. Give me a ludicrous break, he deosn't know how it hurts to be criticized and insulted despite the many loving and considerate things I do every day for him.

[MIL hater]

Omg I agree with each and everyone of you women. I am young and i like to be respectful to someone older than me but when a old hag women comes up to you and puts you down on how you clean YOUR house and wash YOUR clotes etc. ihate MIL ahhhh!!!!! My soon to be MIL hates the way i do everything she steps one foot into my home and critzies everything where i put MY lamp how i set up MY kitchen it just keeps going on and on and we are never good enough for their beloved sons. God why are MIL so rude!!!!! She actually used to come to my house and do her laundry and i would have to enterain her for hours at a time well i put a stop tp that. Women stand up for your selfs and lets make sure taht we NEVER turn into our MIL's>

[Little Ghost]

Last night my husband had the nerve to tell me that she's not suffering and that Im not suffering, and that the only one suffering here is him. Give me a ludicrous break, he deosn't know how it hurts to be criticized and insulted despite the many loving and considerate things I do every day for him.

I think he means he's the one caught in the middle. She may be a bad MIL, even a bad mother or a bad person full stop. Most kids love their parents though don't they? By taking your MILs heartless comments on board you are giving her power over you and your marriage. To make the issue a proof of loyalty for your husband is handing a truely bad MIL (one who wants to split you up) victory on a plate. It's only my view based on my experience of MILs from hell on both sides. Some of the advice in earlier replies seems pertintent.

[45boy]

I found a great way to overcome my mil's hostility to me, I simply worship her, no kidding, she loves the attention, even at the xmas dinner table I slipped my hand on to her inner thigh and rubbed her thing thru her nylon. She smiled albeit nervously thru the whole dinner.
One time she fell asleep in the comfy chair, or at least she pretended too, and I slipped her slipper of and licked and sucked her nylon covered foot, I think she enjoyed it and it has made her a fun and enjoyable person to be around.
The moral of this story is enjoy her and include her and she will be great.

[Guest]

omg thats all i have to saw OMG r u crazy!

[xXx.Lesley.xXx]

You know, we are going to me mother in laws in a few years, I hope to god my sons wives arent talking about me like this! I have horrible in-laws so I am going to try my hardest to compliment their wives (not too much to make it freaky!), let them know that I am always there to help with anything from housework to babysitting.

[traineetobe]

I think MIL get a bad press - they feel it when their beloved sons go off and get married, and need to feel wanted and needed. I have a great relationship with my MIL - she's not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but when she annoys me I just remind myself that she NEEDS to be needed and nothing pleases a MIL more than being asked for advice - even on something simple. Husbands respect their wives if they have have a good relationship with their mothers and Ilove the fact that I get on so well with mine!! Having said that some of the MIL in the posts here sound like total nut nuts!!! Perhaps I'm just lucky!!!

[animallover15]

Nobody who disrespected me like that would get through the front door of my house. And if my husband didnt stand up for me he could p.iss off too.

Although I must say when I was younger I did put up with it.
I think you should put them in their place as soon as possible and as nicely as possible but make it clear that they wont be welcome back until they behave in a respectable manner.
You cant change others. But you can make the rules in your own home!

[helpplease]

Please can anyone else in my situation talk to me... id love to have a pen friend, someone i can talk to along the way with similar problems as I...
Basically my im due to get married in two months and am seriously considering calling the wedding off. My mother in law to be is a serious problem to our relationship. Ever since the beginning (over 4 years) she has had a problem with me. Everything Ive done has been wrong... Im constantly trying to keep the woman happy, make sure my husband to be buys her flowers... make him visit her and generally tread on egg shells to keep the cow happy. She be-littles me at every opportunity and has a very manuplative way of making sure i back down every time i try to have the confidence to stand my ground... Now ive come to realise im never going to have a relationship with this woman.. shes now tipped me over the edge by controlling and making oppinions of ALL my wedding plans... weve recently changed them all... Ive even sacrificed my own happiness on many occasions to keep peace.. (mostly for my fiance's sake)... its just gone too far... She has no respect for me as a woman.. i dont know what her problem is... she speaks to me as though im a child which infuriates me. NOT ONLY do i have this problem... she also lives in viewing distance from my parents home!!... NOT ONLY do i have these problems... she has the same dam birthday as me!.. you can imagine what grief and upset i have... NOT ONLY this but she is also friends with my beautiful mother.... so ive seriously nearly had a complete breakdown... so much so im seriously considering as to whether its all worth it. Its recently coming between my relationship with my mother and it ENDS THERE!... I love my fiance so much but the future is looking bleak. Id so appreciate being in touch and becoming friends with someone who is experiencing the same issues as I. I would like children but really dont want this mess to bring them into. Weve recently decided to tell her what will happen should it carry on and that if we have children.. she will be ruled out of their lives... (and that will certainly be the case!!!!!) IS THIS ALL WORTH IT???.... please speak to me if you have the same problems... im most unhappy at the time in my life when im supposed to be soooo happy with our marriage... WHY, WHY, WHY do these sad women become so bloody selfish!???.... she has two boys... been alone for a long time (wonder why) and is sly to my parents... my mother is not worth loosing for any man with a complete mad mother!!...