need to guage your opinion re; partners children

[glidewest]

Thanks Max

[MissCharlie]

Good Luck Glidewest


Cx

[glidewest]

Good Luck Glidewest


Cx

thanks MissCharlie

[brunettebimbo]

I've been in a relationship with a women for four years, she has two
children from a previous marriage I have no children, we do not live together but see each other often.

I feel I put a lot of effort into the relationship, I do lots with the children enthuse and join in their past times, pay for their holidays, meals and days out. I look after my girlfirends aged dog all week, take her for walks pick up poo and put cream on her scabs.

My girlfiend has been doing a college course for the past two years, I pick the children up from school once a week, cook dinner and get them off to bed whild my other half is out at college. I also help out the odd weekend she has to study.

Last night was baby sitting duties for me again, the children went off to bed fine (7.30pm) at 8.45 I heard movements and went up stairs to find them out of their beds and messing about. They have been told this is not acceptable 4 times in the past week, including that night at story time, so I went ballistic at them, shouted at them to get to bed told them to never do it again, stormed downstairs and slammed the door.

Today my girl friend says I scared them and is unsure about me looking after them again. I feel upset and unapreciated and am beginning to feel I invest a lot in the relationship with the three off them and get little back.

Did I over react?, have I done a bad thing?

I welcome your views.

My boyfriend has 2 young boys who stay with us every weekend so I kind of know how you feel. Maybe you did over react a slight bit but never apologise! My boyfriend has started to let me tell them what to do more. They used to ignore me but now they know I mean business. Have a chat with your partner and ask her to talk 2 the kids and explain that you are allowed tell them what to do. It is hard and the way I've explained probably doesn't make sense! LOL

Also make sure your partner doesn't undermine you when it comes to the children, if she disagrees with something you've done or said to them get her to explain 2 u y when you are out of site and earshot of the kids, this helps alot.

Hope this helps

[glidewest]

thanks for the suggestions brunettebimbo, but I'm afraid it's just not working. Maybe, yes, I did blow my top a bit, but my (ex)girlfriend has sided with the children and seems not to accept that their bad behaviour as part of the situation.

I can't see a future in a relationship with three people I invest a lot in, and don't get a fair hearing from them in a disagreement. It's always going to be a case of them closing ranks, and the children will soon learn that they don't have to behave at all when I'm looking after them. This could lead to a serious accident.

I need to be in a relationship where my opion is respected.

[Verve]

decide on how to do it and support each other. .

I feel this has been a key part of the problem, support or lack there-of

After much discussion with my girlfriend, I have decided to leave the relationship despite my love for them all. I can see no other resolution
that we can reach together.

thankyou all for your considered and balanced thoughts

that was from me by the way not 'guest'....... forgot to log in

I can't believe I didn't get any emails on this post. I hate when that happens.

Anyway I'm very sorry to hear the news... . Glidewest you sound like a great guy and I hope you find someone who will appreciate you fully, not to a certain point. Good luck with life and maybe this is all for the best. Glad you dumped her though before she dumped you... could actually see it... as soon as she finished using you to graduate she'd give you your pink slip. Bravo to you.

[glidewest]

thanks Verve

sun's shining today.....helps things