New "fool"

[srfboy009]

Hi,

This is certainly an new outlet for my frustrations...however I think I already know the answer to the question I wish to ask. I recently moved to a metro area in the hopes of rekindling a once dead relationship. I ended the intitial relationship, which led to her relocating to another area. I ended it because I knew that her job hindered her willingness to be "close" with me. I unfortunately and subsequently rekindled this flame a couple of months ago and have moved to a large metro area to be closer to her. Unfortunately for me since I have moved (and sacrificed) I felt like a burden to her social calendar. In the past it was pretty much me and her, exclusively, which was nice...now though since we have split she has met a new group of "girlfriends" who she seems very dedicated to pleasing. Case in point, it's a friday nights and I wined and dined only to have her leave in order to hang out with the girls. Not too bad... however the girls just happen to be hangin out at a porn party. Yes, that's right, a real life porn party for porn stars, which I was uninvited to- needless to say I am seriously reconsidering my decision to be closer to the girl I care a great deal about. Any help?

[Buffed]

Well, it sounds like she moved on when you ended it, and the cause for you to do it makes it sound like she wasn't "totally committed" to the relationship anyway.

Coming back in is always tough. Add to this your second thoughts and the signals add up to finding the next one.

If she's not "hooked" and you're having second thoughts.... it just doesn't make any sense to persue. (not to me anyway)

[one_irish_rover]

your lives have diverged. this happens all the time, to many relationships. she is no longer the same girl you knew. I would predict that she is different in many ways that you have yet to discover. she likely has developed different interests, a different lifestyle, ambitions, etc, so your relationship will never be like it was in the past. you have to decide for yourself whether this "new girl" is someone you want a relationship with, and whether she really wants one with you.