by Had the same problem... on Sun Oct 31, 2004 11:41 am
... before my divorce...
only in my case, my wife's position was that once a week was "a lot." Her quote.
Some here seem to think the men are awful when they complain. I once attended a marriage seminar where the speaker said that a good sex life shouldn't be the foundation of a good marriage, but it can certainly be a good barometer for the rest of the marriage. In my case, I didn't leave because of a lack of sex, but a lack of sex certainly factored in. Specifically, long-term insensitivity in this area makes it harder to accept other problems in the relationship.
Nonetheless, I think some people have markedly different libidos, and it does make for a miserable match--for both people, probably--even when the rest of the relationship is good.
Back to the original question... Normal? I don't know if we can agree on what normal is. Mismatched? Certainly. Wouldn't life be grand if all the people with low libidos found a similar mate; same for those with high libidos. Everyone would be much happier then. But life isn't like that, and, even if you could arrange that at marriage time, things like hormone shifts and children often change one person but not the other.
Try what you can. I would hope you could find some activity she'd be willing to do on in-between days (handjobs, maybe?) that would keep you more satisfied, and not put her in the position where, all of a sudden, she is the one despondent. From my experience, it can't always be done, yet I think it's worth a shot to try.
Don't start by talking about this subject. First find some night where the two of you can have a long talk, and discuss how she feels about her marriage. See if there's any area of discontentment you can address. Work on that first, before you even bring this subject up. Of course, if her answer is "how much you want sex," then it's going to be one tangled rat's nest...
[/b]
