"Normal" sex drive

[youngron78]

Okay, ladies, I realize I may be asking a question that's impossible to answer, but I've never let that stop me before. Could I have your input on how often you'd like to have sex???

The reason I ask is my wife thinks twice a week is just TONS. (And, that's twice a week except for the week she's menstruating, which is more like six times a month.) And, if that's "normal" for her, fair enough. But that is NOT "normal" for me. And I've certainly been w/ women who've wanted it almost every day.

We've been married nine years, and, at her insistence, our sex life has been unchanged for, oh, the past seven years or so. Six times a month, always missionary, I give her oral, she refuses to reciprocate, and that's that. I, on the other hand, would like to try LOTS more different things, and LOTS more often.

Is she "normal?" Am I? Are you???

Thank you!

[baeraers]

We're all normal. Except the cross dresser who obsesses on waxed coats and riding pants. He's wierd.

You've defined the problem and maybe the solution too. I'm not being cryptic. Some people can live like you are, some can't. Tell her exactly what you told us and see if you can come up with something together. You may be surprised if she says "but I thought you didn't like that!", or maybe she has a hang-up you can work through together. Good luck whatever the outcome and let us know how it turns out.

[Guest]

'normal' means a different thing to everyone. is your wife a person or simply just a hole in your bed? is your marriage based around sex or other stuff too? if its simply about how much sex your getting and how thats carried out then i suggest you but yourself a blow up doll - i believe they also give head.

[baeraers]

A blowup doll isn't a serious substitute for a wife, or intimacy. Handy as it might be sometimes. j/k.

Being intimate also includes the bedroom. I simply don't see him calling his wife "a hole in the bed" in that post, although I also realize you were using that as a way to draw attention to your point.

[Guest]

yeh, i was a tad sarcastic, lol. Not everyone needs sexual intimacy to feel deep love and bedroom gymnastics is simply just not everyones cup of tea. Maybe you've been with other women who wanted sex everyday but many many women arnt like that. You are both normal but I dont believe that its your wifes resonsibility to fulfill sexual stuff thats she doesnt want to do herself.

I'll put it another way. Say you didnt like Anal stuff done to yourself, in fact you didnt like it one bit, it made you feel uncomfortable. If your wife wanted to put things inside your anus 4 times a week cause it gave her a sexual high would you do it? Would you think she was unreasonable expecting you too?

[sexythang]

id give it to u as much as u wanted it. all u have to do is say the word.

[Guest]

@sxythang - why dont you join in discussion properly or go and get a life elsewhere?

[been there]

I've been married for 26 years. My wife is the same. It will not ever get better.

I've tried everything to make it better. My wife is multi orgasmic , so it isn'nt like she isn't enjoying it. She just has no desire . It seems like she doesn't like the mess or the effort or something. I think it is some kind of psycological problem.

For me... I've given up hope and just W*** instead and when the time comes that she wants it I give an excuse and deny her. It is a spite thing . But at this point I don't care any more. I'm very unhappy with her and don't desire sex with her. It is because of trying for this long without results. Sex is last on her priority list.

Bail out while you are young and find someone with thee same drive. You will regret it if you don't.

[youngron78]

id give it to u as much as u wanted it. all u have to do is say the word.

The word.

[John :)]

You may have to ask yourself a number of questions here, has it always been like this since day one? Of course in the early days of any relationship most people are like it like rabbits but you might just have to except that your wife is content with having sex 6 times a month and through no fault of her own thats just her normal sex drive in a long loving relationship. However as you want/need more sex than her you really need to talk to her about if you havn't done so already, after all she may be content and she might be thinking you are the same. If you don't communicate with each other on this then it going to lead to serious problems.
Another big question you have to ask yourself is has your sexlife gone stale? Do either of you make the effort anymore? Do you just go to be bed every night at the same time and just hope to wham bam thank you mam! Do you make her feel wanted, sexy or desired? Do you surprise her with weekends away and romantic gestures? As in a lot of relationships over time people become content, take the other for granted and stop making the effort and then wonder why there is a problem.

[guest]

The reason I ask is my wife thinks twice a week is just TONS. (And, that's twice a week except for the week she's menstruating, which is more like six times a month.)

I am in exactly the same situation. Twice a week tops. None during the period even though it was fine before marriage. No blowjobs even though I got them before marriage. I think she wants me to look elsewhere.

[beany1]

'twice a week tops' 'never get a blowjob'

not bein funny but have you any idea how disrespectful you sound or did she cease to become a person the day you got married too! AND you have sex twice a week - which judgin by articles iv read and posts on internet sites, you have a damn sight more sex than most people.

maybe if your wife felt like she wasnt SUPPOSED to give you blowjobs and have sex more often shed feel more comfortable would possibliy want more sex.

i cant believe how some people speak about thier partners on this site .

[Guest]

Oh please take your self rightousness and shove it where the sun don't shine. I am replying to Ron saying that I have the exact same "problem". Me and my wife used to do much more than we do now. I give her oral, don't get any back. It's small potatoes really because I do appreciate the sex twice a week, but I do miss the times I got those extras. As to the period, for me it's more like four days so it's not really that bad, still she did not have these inhibitions at first. I guess sex lost some of the original excitement we had years ago and so she is more choosy when she will or will not have it.

I don't see how that is being disrespectful or makes my wife into a thing. If you do then please enlighten me.

[SkeeLo]

If you try talking to your wife, and you two hit a brick wall (can't work it through).... Then you, like many males on earth will discover why the female population is generally higher than that of the males

[beany1]

i would love to enlighted u guest although i feel my words would go straight above your head!

'those extras' - your talkin bout your wife here not someone you pay for sex who isnt giving you your moneysworth.


do you REALLY not see how these comments are disrespectful. it makes your wife sound like a performing seal thats not performing too well at the minute. why dont you ask your wife to read it and see what she thinks? If she says oh, homey im so sorry you feel that way let me s**k your c**k - i'l stand corrected. if it was me id be gutted and want to poke your eyes out with a big stick.