Please answer me this question

[dougal_maguire]

If you are seeing someone, isnt that the same as you are going out with someone. Is there a difference?? Please explain to me if there is cause I cant seem to find one

My beloved ex tells me, "im not gonna lie to you... I am seeing him, but im not going out with him. We've not done anything, I dont feel like that for him, I dont even love him".

What is going on

[Ambriel]

It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter if she likes her new boyfriend or not, or what they have or haven't done together.
It doesn't matter if she's lying to you.

Seeing someone/going out/being together all same. It's not about words u use.

Your ex may be making mistakes for her own reasons but it has nothing to do with you. Harsh I know.

If you want to remain friends with your ex you shouldn't be asking her about her new boyfriends. but should give her a bit of space for awhile to sort out what she wants.

Be there for her if she needs you but don't be a sucker and focus on making yourself happy in other ways, even if u don't feel like it.

You can't control other people however much their actions suck but if you just let it go and move on you will be a stronger person and if they ever need you you'll be there.

[dougal_maguire]

I cant try and stay friends with her, im so much in love with her. Ive loved her for the last 13 years of our relationship, shes all i ever wanted in a woman.. she was my soulmate. I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life.
I will never be a stronger person without her

[xpaigex]

ok the difference between going out with someone and seeing someone is that when you are going out u are officially gf and bf when you are seeing someone its more like a friends with benefits (sexual) but only those meanings are ones that teenagers use and when you get to like 18+ seeing someone and going out tend to mean the same thing

[dougal_maguire]

well, she swears to me this guy is just a friend..... No sex involved, i find it hard to believe

[dougal_maguire]

well, the question i asked, if you are seeing someone, how is that different to going out with someone.
Well today i got my answer, its the same. My ex who has told me all along, she is not going out with this guy, but she is seeing him, finally admitting she is seeing him, she is now his girlfriend. Its what i assumed all along.. there is no difference between seeing someone and going out with someone, its the same damn thing!!!

[Playa]

in my area it works like this.....

going out: your together and you cant do anything with anyone else..

seeing someone : your together but you can do whatever you want with anyone else, its a no strings kinda thing.

man i almost puked when i saw your post, i really really hope you were not like that with her, "I will never be a stronger person without her" dude, stop being silly! you dont have a chance now, you've blown it, move on.

no wonder she left, you sound clingy, and needy, stop it! and it you cant be friends with her no more then forget her totally, plenty more fish in the sea....

[grinforgrin]

Sorry 'playa', you're way off base. If Dougal has been in love with this woman for 13 years, and it sounds like he really loved her, then it will take a Long time to get over her. And he's going to be feeling pretty screwed up until he gets some perspective. Dougal, if you're going to obsess over the guys she dates, that's a problem. You're no longer together, and being friends with someone you've been head-over-heels in love with for 13 years pretty much isn't going to work out. When a relationship like that ends you 100% need some space from the other person.

Hang out in different places, move, change jobs, spend time with different friends, whatever, but spending more time around her will only make it hurt more. Torturing yourself by seeing her with another man won't help anything mate, it just hurts.

Playa, throwing around insults won't help this guy, people need to be able to speak frankly about their problems on these forums without having people slam them for being vulnerable and in pain.

[dougal_maguire]

cheers my friend, i really appreciate your post...

As you pointed out, 13 years is a long time to be with someone and not easilly gotten over.

Im worried about this new guy cause he is a serial cheat, takes part in gang bangs etc.. im worried cause ive had to leave a 4 year old daughter behind with the ex.. and him being around her is not ideal.

[Playa]

grinforgrin, in your view i was being insultive and of base...
in my view i was pointing out the problem so it dont happen again.

I wont go on an on......dougal_maguire, Just make sure you stay on talking terms for the sake of not having to call the police to see your kid.