how to get father-in-law 2B in a suit

[Guest]

this is a difficult one, and one im not sure if i should just let lie....

my H2B's father is not keen on weddings for a start, and when we first got engaged made joke's about "did he really have to come" which he went on about so much when ever we went over that it started to upset me, that slowly wore of when i made a joke that he was top of the wedding list even before myself and my parter (think i made my point) without getting upset...

now im having trouble getting him into the wedding suit, when i was talking to my H2B's mother i showed her what they looked like, and she look me in the eye and said you wont get him in one of them...i just smiled and laughed it of at the time...i know his dad has had a colostomy quite a few years ago, and i think this may have something to do with it, as i can understand something like that would make you feel uneasy.

i spoke to my H2B after and he said he didnt want to push the subject....this was some months ago now and i know my H2B doesnt open up to his parents very well but more so his dad, as he had a stricket up bringing.

ive tried talking about this to my partner, but every time he says he doesnt want his dad to be unhappy, and i dont want to fight about it so i just go quite.

so what to do any 's......

i dont really know what to do for the best...i tell myself one thing, "that i shoudnt make a fuss over somthing so stupied", then i tell myself "that it would look so much nicer if he was in the same outfits as the other males, and make me feel that he was more involved and he wanted to be there"......

[lululol]

Reminding him how much you love him, how much you want him as part of the party, but since the rest of the bridal party will be in tux or suits (i.e. dressed for a wedding), while the guests are going to come in suits, then it would only be appropriate (as a respect for the family and most importantly himself) that he wear a suit to minimzie embarassment toward him and the wedding party.

However, if he insists on an alternative attire, suggest trousers, shirt and blazer. At least he won't look too offensive.

[Pete9]

How about telling him that everyone else is wearing track suits and trainers?

He might just turn up in a suit just to be different.

But seriously, it does seem like a very difficult situation, and one that is not easy to resolve.

Will some excess pampering win him around? If not, then there's nothing you can do and I wouldn't worry.

There is absolutely no reason why it should ruin the day. That will only happen if you let it. One guy wearing clothes that are out of line does not mean that there's a big cloud over the occasion. If there is no way that he can be won around to getting in line, then all you can do is make light of it. It needn't be the end of the World.

[Smiler;)]

thank you both for your comments..... as you say i wont let it get to me....after all i want him to be there, and be happy....fingers still crossed he may come round

[humphriessa]

I completely understand. Most people I know complain about having interfering inlaws but my problem is the opposite. We're getting married in OCtober and my inlaws just couldn't give a damn. They're completely uninterested and seem like their doing everything they can to appear to the guests that they're not part of the main wedding party. The've booked themselves, my h2b and best man into a hotel about 40 miles away from the church for the night before the wedding because they wanted to stay somewhere secluded because they're not really that sociable. They're refusing to go in the wedding cars with my parents fro the church to the reception, using the excuse that they have to chaufffer other people, my father in law is insisting on wearing brown velcro shoes with his morning suit, my mother in law to be is planning on wearing an anorak over her wedding outfit. And I'm dreading them at the reception. The last family wedding we went to, the two of them just didn't know how to mix with other people and spent the night sitting at a table just the two of them, making patterns out of the table confetti. My parents are so excited and so sociable that my fiance's parents are not only going to be an embarassments but I fear there'll be an argument between both sets of parents when my mum realises just how 'not bothered' they are to be there. I'm certain they'll leave the evening disco early and I wouldn't be surprised if my fiance's dad brings his lap top so he can get on with some work. I'm sure they won't be happy being told what to do by the photographer. I know my fiance won't say anything because he has such a formal relationship with his parents, but I know he's going to feel this. I wish they'd make the effort for just one day

[Guest]

humphriessa i feel for you i really do....you just want everyone to be happy and enjoy themselves, and look like they want to be there....i wish you luck with everything and hope that they dont make to much of a show on your wedding.[/quote]