by Girlnextdoor on Thu Jul 26, 2007 5:04 pm
After 10 years of marriage and having had three children in the space of three years three months I would say marriage means the following things to me:
- Knowing someone has "got your back" when the world seems to be raining sh!t on you
- Someone to share a cup of tea with at the end of the day and a chat about the days events
- Surviving the supermarket shop together with three kids under 4 in tow (or taking it in turns to do it alone while the other one braves the play park!)
- The other persons happiness being as important to you as your own
- Sharing the joys and sorrows of parenthood together
- A united parenting front (ie Mummy can i have a biscuit - "No you may not, Daddy already said no so don't run to me!)
- Backing each other up in front of the kids (even if you disagree in private later)
- Never putting the other one down, especially not infront of other people
- Sharing vomit cleaning up duties at three am, succesfully cleaning up the kids bed, carpet, toys, blankie and of course the child without needing to speak and say who needs to do what
- Knowing that if you absolutely have to leave sick kids with the other parent that they will know what to do, what medicine to give, when its a real emergency etc
- Being able to pick up where the other person left off when a "shift change" happens
- Knowing you can rely on the other person to do what needs to be done, or atelast tell you if for some reason they won't be able to do it
- Worrying when you hear there was an accident on the road they are travelling on for a business trip
- Succesfully "teleporting" three sleeping children into the family car (without waking them) and driving with them 80 miles in the middle of the night to where the other partner is working on an away job as you have bad news to break and want to be there to catch them when they fall, so they dont hit the ground.....
- And through this all still sharing the unique intimate relationship you had in the beginning, only better because you have emotional intimacy too.
Now I'm not saying we have got it right, there have been bad times and good in our marriage but we have achieved so much together and for the most part been extremely happy. For us the key so far has been communication, commnuicate, communicate, communicate. Whatever is going on for each of us or with us together, the one thing we don't do is bullsh!t each other. Everything is discussed openly and that way issues tend to get ironed out whilst they are little molehills, not mountains.
