I seperated from my husband a few months ago, it was my choice to end the relationship, there were a few problems, mainly that i didn't feel we had a relationship, we just lived together and plodded along, we have two small children so everything is about routine. Our sex life took a huge nose dive after our first was born 4 years ago and we never really got it back on track, i was selfish and would rather go to bed for sleep than sex, when we did get down to it i needed a drink to get me in the mood. So i ended it.
Six weeks after he moved out, he told me he was in a new relationship, now up until this point, i was doing fine, adjusting to being on my own with the kids and reasonably happy but when he told me of his new woman i felt sick to my stomache. I went out clubbing with friends two weeks later, my husband was at my house looking after the kids anyway i spent most the evening kissing a very good looking young man and when i got home told my ex about it. He seemed rather annoyed but when i went to bed, he joined me and we ended up have the best sex i have ever had.
Two days later we had another fantastically great night.
I then had to put a stop to it, he wanted us to meet up for sex even though he has this new girlfriend but our fantastic nights left me feeling used and depressed.
He calls to speak to the children every day but is blunt with me, then after i had had another night out and spent the evening kissing another man i get some rather saucy texts from my ex and asks if he can come round for some fun, initially i said yes but later changed my mind, i can't handle having great sex then knowing he is going back to her. He still tries his luck though, every now and then i get naughty pics sent or dirty texts.
My problem is, i ended this relationship, so why is that he is all i think about, i don't know if the only reason i want him is because i hate the thought of him with someone else, the sex has clouded my judgement i think, he comes round at weekends to see the kids and i find myself making extra effort with my appearence and wearing certain clothes i know he likes. I'm just so confused and horny lol, he has already told me, he wouldn't come back because things would go back to how they were before, and i'm not even sure i want him back. I want to move on but can't when all i am thinking about is sucking his C***!!
My friend has told me he is using me for sex, having his girlfriend and coming to me whenever he wants a bit extra. I can see her point and i really don't like the way i feel for days after but part of me clings to that need to feel sexually wanted..
Apologies for the lengthy ramble, not sure what anyone can say about this really.
