little_miss_forceful FemaleFirst Grand Master (1000+ Posts)
Joined: 30 Aug 2007 Posts: 1339 Location: here there and everywhere
Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 2:31 pm Post subject:
revCowgirl wrote:
how come when i do the same thing i get stomped and every one cheers her on?
not everyone was cheering her on and the difference is she is trying to put her marriage right, from your posts you have more than one lover and instead of trying to make your marriage work, you just fool around
Joined: 07 Oct 2006 Posts: 3512 Location: tyne & wear
Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 5:47 pm Post subject: Re: Follow up
Cambridge wrote:
TheatreDiva wrote:
Dear All,
Thank you for all the words of advice, I think I knew what most of you would say. Since this new 'friendship' began, I have thought long and hard about life and in particular my relationship with my husband.
I decided to try and work things out with him, so I raised a few issues that I felt needed to be dealt with, for example, not spending enough quality time together, the lack of sexual intimacy and general intimacy and passion between us. He seemed to listen and although he did not see there were problems to begin with he agreed that he would make more effort. Sadly this has not yet happened.
Some months have passed and while I try to be a good wife, I cook, clean and try to listen to him, and make the best of myself at all times he still seems to prefer the company of his pc, bike, kayak, mates, in fact, anything but me.
So what of the leading man? Well, the theatre show took place two weeks ago. It was a great success, and many commented on our amazing chemistry! (chuckle) Over the last few months he and I have become very close friends. Outside of rehearsals we have regularly seen each other alone, we meet for coffee or drinks and talk for hours, finding solace in each others company. There are occasional passionate moments, but generally we just enjoy each others company as friends.
We are about to start working on another project together, so I don't see this ending any time soon, and as wrong as this may be, and as stupid as this may sound, I can't help thinking that this is actually helping my marriage.... as the fulfillment I get from my 'friendship' takes the pressure of the issues I have with my husband, which in a silly way helps us along. Of course this cannot go on forever, but for now I am happy.
Um…so, if this guy makes you feel so good, why not get a divorce and go with him? I've never done anything hesitantly, so that’s my style. But, I don’t see anything holding the two of you back. You’re dissatisfied with your marriage and not inclined to do anything about it; he’s apparently disenchanted with his wife. The two of you could be a match made in heaven. Go for it.
i have to agree with cambridge if you really want to be together go for it! why prolong the agony of the other parties involved. i hope i am wrong tho in thinking that perhaps your lover is enjoying the best of both worlds and if you were to tell him this is what you want-he will no longer want you. its one thing enjoying a bit of excitement on the side, but its another to be together day after day
you are carried along by the newness of it but unfortunately all relationships come to that plateau
how come when i do the same thing i get stomped and every one cheers her on?
not everyone was cheering her on and the difference is she is trying to put her marriage right, from your posts you have more than one lover and instead of trying to make your marriage work, you just fool around
how come when i do the same thing i get stomped and every one cheers her on?
not everyone was cheering her on and the difference is she is trying to put her marriage right, from your posts you have more than one lover and instead of trying to make your marriage work, you just fool around
ok i understand the difference thnx.
Quote:
not everyone was cheering her on and the difference is she is trying to put her marriage right, from your posts you have more than one lover and instead of trying to make your marriage work, you just fool around
I don’t necessarily agree with that. On the one hand it elevates what Diva is doing without acknowledging that she has lost any purpose. See, wildchild's post. Where do you see she is “trying to put her marriage right?”
On the other hand, I don’t think that’s fair to cowgirl. Is she even married? I think she’s admitted to having a fling or so, but is she any worse than Diva? I don’t see any evidence of that. Frankly, cowgirl, I think you raised a good point, if only to address what is fair and what is not fair.
Or maybe—hands up in frustration—maybe I haven’t read all of your posts, cowgirl. I could be misunderstanding this situation. Have you been foolin’ around on a marriage?
However, I do think Lil Miss Forceful was right-on when she said you misunderstand: people are not cheering Diva on, and if they are, I suspect it’s in a bit of a sarcastic mode.
Joined: 09 Nov 2006 Posts: 1705 Location: waiting for dr who
Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 1:20 pm Post subject:
Cambridge wrote:
revCowgirl wrote:
little_miss_forceful wrote:
revCowgirl wrote:
how come when i do the same thing i get stomped and every one cheers her on?
not everyone was cheering her on and the difference is she is trying to put her marriage right, from your posts you have more than one lover and instead of trying to make your marriage work, you just fool around
ok i understand the difference thnx.
Quote:
not everyone was cheering her on and the difference is she is trying to put her marriage right, from your posts you have more than one lover and instead of trying to make your marriage work, you just fool around
I don’t necessarily agree with that. On the one hand it elevates what Diva is doing without acknowledging that she has lost any purpose. See, wildchild's post. Where do you see she is “trying to put her marriage right?”
On the other hand, I don’t think that’s fair to cowgirl. Is she even married? I think she’s admitted to having a fling or so, but is she any worse than Diva? I don’t see any evidence of that. Frankly, cowgirl, I think you raised a good point, if only to address what is fair and what is not fair.
Or maybe—hands up in frustration—maybe I haven’t read all of your posts, cowgirl. I could be misunderstanding this situation. Have you been foolin’ around on a marriage?
However, I do think Lil Miss Forceful was right-on when she said you misunderstand: people are not cheering Diva on, and if they are, I suspect it’s in a bit of a sarcastic mode.
no i think miss f was being kind-if you read cowgirls posts she in messing round with a few men while her husband is awaying fighting in the army. she has admitted not loving her husband but staying due to financial benefits. she even bragged about how she laughed at her boss while he spoke to his wife on the phone (cowgirl admitting that her bosses spunk was all over her skirt) no cambridge i think its a totally different ball game!!!! diva seems to have feelings for this man and had tried to put her marriage right, cowgirl on the other hand was just looking for a f u ck
Okay, fair enough. If that’s the case cowgirl is not in my camp. Thank you for straightening me out on this. But, I don’t understand this thesis that Diva is trying to make her marriage work. Barely a month ago (she posted it on June 3rd and this is July 3rd) she started a sexual relationship with another man. Um…maybe I'm missing something. Is this the latest generation’s way of working out troubles in a marriage? If so, that generation is living in la-la land.
Here are the facts: Diva has a bad marriage; she’s doing a stage play with this attractive man; she’s sexually charged by this guy; she finally has sex with him; then she posts that she is trying to work out her marriage?? BFD! Don’t look at the words; look at deeds. I pointed out to her that transitioning to this new guy was a way toward happiness while ridding her of a bad marriage. Somebody gets hurt, but it’s eventually all for the good. However, she takes the worst possible path. Then she “tells” you that she’s trying to work it all out. No, she isn’t. She’s just trying to have an extramarital affair, apparently just like cowgirl. Nuff said. I'm just trying to be truthful, not hurtful.
Joined: 07 Oct 2006 Posts: 3512 Location: tyne & wear
Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 10:26 am Post subject:
cambridge i agreed in an earlier post that this was not the way to go. i also suggested that she was living in a dream world and if she was to ask her lover to run away with her he would run the other way.
on a different not dont you add friends or maybe you dont check your profile
cambridge i agreed in an earlier post that this was not the way to go. i also suggested that she was living in a dream world and if she was to ask her lover to run away with her he would run the other way.
Oh, okay…I thought she had something more than that going with him. Even in extramarital flings I guess you have to have the guy checked out. I'm probably pretty naive in these things, but I feel like what I'm seeing is the proverbial optical illusion. Everyone is saying Diva is trying to work it out, and I'm seeing that she just started skulking around a month ago.
Quote:
on a different not dont you add friends or maybe you dont check your profile
Oh wow, I'm sorry. No I don’t go to that part of the board cause I've asked admin to withhold my pm privileges. It has nothing to do with rejecting friends. I'm on the political threads a lot, and they’re all pm’ing to gang up on their adversaries or enemies. I think that is kinda underhanded and cheap. Hence, I make a public point that I don’t do that. Again, it has come up a couple of times over here on the relationship thread, where that doesn’t happen, and I have to make this explanation and apology. But I reject pm privileges as a sort of disclaimer.
You get an “add friend,” anyway. Thanks for asking.
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he still seems to prefer the company of his pc, bike, kayak, mates, in fact, anything but me.
I'm probably pretty naive in these things, but I feel like what I'm seeing is the proverbial optical illusion. Everyone is saying Diva is trying to work it out, and I'm seeing that she just started skulking around a month ago.
Thanks for asking.