boyfriends and best guy friends and me

[quietgrrl]

i say i love my boyfriend, and truth be told i do. but i also love my best friend (a guy), just not in the same way. i must confess, all 3 of us are virgins, but that's going to change soon. Thing is, I always figured i would have my first time with my best friend who i care about and trust, but i love my boyfriend and wouldnt want to betray him. my best friend is single, and he has feelings for me. he always has. i just, i never go the chills or fluttery heart around him, just a security blanket. and yes, my best friend and i have gotton physical, multiple times, just never a real relationship. now, he's mixed in with this older crowd who would be more than happy to pop his cherry and i say "go for it. do what makes you happy" but a big part of me feels jealous, almost like i'll miss what is rightfully mine. god, it's like i wished i could have had sex already with my best friend, but losing myself to my boyfriend would be special too. i love them both, i really do, just in different ways and for different reasons.


please, any advice. i've been caught in this triangle for so long.

(also, i feel i should add my relationship with my boyfriend has soured the friendship between him and my best friend. my best friend introduced me to him and we fell for each other must to his disappointment)

[jamiemac2005]

but a big part of me feels jealous

how do you think your best friend feels seeing you with your bf?

Anyway, you have a bf, if you're seriously considering sleeping with your best friend then theres something wrong there isnt there?

I say let your best friend move on, it's easy to tell from what you're saying that you've been leading him on... Which is cruel, especially when you have a bf...

What would you do if your bf turned around and said "i love *name of ex or female best friend* i want to go sleep with her before i do you"... Because you wouldn't like it either, and what would your bf think if he saw this? I'm sure i'd be quite pissed.[/quote]

[Verve]

You're on your way to becoming woman....

I say you should wait. See who sticks around and then have sex with the one still standing.

I'm rooting for the best friend....

[noodles]

if you're having such dilemas dont sleep with either of em right now.

wait wait wait.

[coolman]

You're on your way to becoming woman....

I say you should wait. See who sticks around and then have sex with the one still standing.

I'm rooting for the best friend....

I think I love you, verve!

[quietgrrl]

You're on your way to becoming woman....

I say you should wait. See who sticks around and then have sex with the one still standing.

I'm rooting for the best friend....

funny you say that, many people actually here are too. and thank you, i don't intend to rush into anything physical, but we've been dating for a while. and jamie, you're right, either guy isn't too happy to be around the other when i'm around. honestly, i think i just..have to choose don't i? the last thing i want is to swing back and forth between them both.

i think i cling to my best friend because i've been hurt by boyfriends before and he's helped me through it. i know i picked the right guy because of how i feel, i think i'm just afraid of fully falling in love with him. ..does that make sense?

[Verve]

I think I love you, verve!

And you thought you weren't gonna like me! Ha!

[coolman]

I think I love you, verve!

And you thought you weren't gonna like me! Ha!

I had an epiphany!

[Verve]

honestly, i think i just..have to choose don't i? You don't have to do anything. Do what makes you happy. Don't do anything if you have doubts.

i think i'm just afraid of fully falling in love with him. ..does that make sense? Everyone who's in a relationship feels that way at one point. But if your heart is conflicted don't rush... take your time.

[SybariteGator]

It sounds like he's been your "best friend" all these years just in hopes of becoming your boyfriend.

I just don't believe that guys and girls can be real friends when there are such strong sexual and emotional feelings involved.

Either set him free or try him out as a boyfriend.

[MaxtheGaul]

I vote for the best friend too, but seriously you have three choices. Neither, either or both.

My advice would be neither fro the time being, you should have sex with someone because you are really really ready for it, not because it is time you popper your cherry.

[quietgrrl]

so, to add to this, my best friend and i were hanging out (my boyfriend knew) and he kissed me and you know something? I just, I had no urge to kiss him back when the moment came down to it. if i'm sitting near him, I don't feel anything and i realize when i'm near my boyfriend, it's like electric. i think i just needed to just, go with it, do what was natural and let my mind be at peace. i let him (the friend) and my other friends convince me of feelings that really weren't there. i sort of feel better knowing that I chose the right one, i just hope that my best friend can accept it...even though a part of me knows he never will. thank you all for your advice. i'll try not to rush, but like this situation, i don't do what i'm supposed to, or not, i try to do what feels right. and i feel that i'm taking a step in the right direction. i hope at least.

[Cambridge]

so, to add to this, my best friend and i were hanging out (my boyfriend knew) and he kissed me and you know something? I just, I had no urge to kiss him back when the moment came down to it. if i'm sitting near him, I don't feel anything and i realize when i'm near my boyfriend, it's like electric. i think i just needed to just, go with it, do what was natural and let my mind be at peace. i let him (the friend) and my other friends convince me of feelings that really weren't there. i sort of feel better knowing that I chose the right one, i just hope that my best friend can accept it...even though a part of me knows he never will. thank you all for your advice. i'll try not to rush, but like this situation, i don't do what i'm supposed to, or not, i try to do what feels right. and i feel that i'm taking a step in the right direction. i hope at least.

With all due respect, at your age, in six months you won't even remember either one. Get on with your life.

[Verve]

True... Unless he was phenomenal...

[corecoreb4u]

think of the cons and pros of each it should lead you to a decision