Tomboy daugher and wedding

[wondering mom]

My eldest daughter is 24 and is getting married in October. My youngest daughter (her step sister) is 11 and is a real tomboy. She always in jeans and t-shirts and climbing trees and basically doing boys stuff.

This has never bothered me but she is having a fit about wearing a bridesmaids dress for her sister weddings. She wants to be a bridesmaid but doesn't want to wear the dress or the tights and shoes. I think the last time she wore a dress was when she was 4. She hates wearing tights and wears trousers to school. Up until now I have never made her wear a dress or skirt when we go out to prevent a tantrum.

My eldest daughter just shouts at her for trying to ruin her day.

Should I for once put my foot down and say on some occasions even Tomboys have to wear a dress? Any suggestions.

[Guest]

Of course. If she wants to be part of the wedding, she has to dress like the other bridesmaids. If she doesn't want to dress up, then excuse her from bridesmaid duty.

If she also doesn't want to clean up in a presentable manner (wearing a presentable outfit of pants or whatever), offer to find her a babysitter for the day and that you'll miss her at the wedding. Don't let her tell you or your daughter how to run the wedding. It's not her day. It's also not worth picking a fight over. It sounds like she wants to be there so I'm pretty sure she'll compromise and at least dress up enough to be a guest.

[Guest]

Unfortunately (if you see it this way!) there are times when you have to dress in a certain manner on some occasions. Your tomboy daughter needs to understand this, and for once adhere to a not too unrealistic request. As a younger sibling it would be odd if she wasn’t a bridesmaid and wearing a dress comes with the territory. You should tell her that if she doesn’t comply you will confiscate her trousers and force her to wear a skirt or dress at all times.