is cyber sex cheating?

[Guest]

I am a married man, but my wife works nights sometimes.

I have got bored with porn etc... when she is away and so have thought about Cyber sex. Is this cheating? What about cyber flirting...is that ok?

I would be interested to hear a ladies view...and any other guys that do it.

[Guest]

Cybering is a modern kind of fun. As you use your fantsies or porn to have sexual delights, cyber sex is another kind to enhance solo sex.

I like to enjoy my little kitten down there by cybering. My favourite partners are married males , who confess all the kinky details of their marital sex. So it is not stimulation only, but very valuable sexual education too.

[ccd]

Personally I'd class it as cheeting. If you're partner knows about it and is cool then fine but I'dy it crosses the line between porn and interacting with a real person - especially a it carrie sthe risk of wanting to take it further.

[Guest]

I posted the original question.

It is interesting to hear these opinions, and very helpful too, so thank you.

I guess part of me thinks it is not much different to looking at pornography, as it is all fantasy, and I know I would never act on it.

I know that I would never meet someone from the net, not only because I love my wife dearly and would never physically cheat, but also the person you meet would never be the person you chatted to.

I can understand however, the view that it is cheating....I am so confused!!

I guess I have to think, that if it were the other way round, would I mind her doing it. That is something I will have to think about carefully.

Thanks again, and anyone else who has an opinion, I would be glad to hear it.

[honbuns]

My opinion is that this would be sexually engaging with another person and if you do that without the knowledge/consent and possibly participation of your partner then you are cheating.

if you where physically in the same room and masterbated in front of each other wouldnt that be cheating, the fact that technology allows you to do this at a distance to me does not make a difference.

If though this was something that your partner was aware of and happy with then maybe that would be different, as it would be if you did this together, there are many how get their jollies this way.

[happened to me]

Cyber sex is cheating, it takes away the intimacy between a couple. My husband had multiple cyber sex partners, when I found out about it, at first he lied, then tried to minimize it as he thought it was just fun and fantasy. Well there was nothing fun or fantasy about it for me. I felt betrayed, humiliated and destroyed. My husband became a liar and now our marriage will probably end.

[MaxtheGaul]

I felt betrayed, humiliated and destroyed. My husband became a liar and now our marriage will probably end.

I can understand you being pissed off with him lying, and that's not a good thing. Betrayed, maybe a tiny bit, Humiliated - in who's eyes? As for being destroyed, you know nothing! Destruction is far more painful and final than anything you've ever experienced. Stop whinging about trivia, it's the dishonesty that matters.

[ccd]

I'd agree with Max. Sure, it's not nice to find out your husband was doing things behind your back BUT the only real crime IMO is the dishonesty. Everything else is your own response to that dishonesty. Yes it's a shock etc but is it really worth ending a marriage over? If he can't stop then things need to be considered but if he genuinely wants to sort himself out, keep at it - he's still the same person you loved before you found this out. it's really not the end of the world. This probably sounds nuts but could you ue this as an opportunity to inject som extra fun into that side of your relationship? Would you enjoy doing something similar? You'd probably find the excitement quite a rush without the complication of meeting the person in real life, whcih is probably what he's getting from it. Just a thought.