Trust

[Gilroy]

Hey all,

I need some advise. My and my girlfriend were very happy until she went on holiday with a hen party. She has now come back and somehow different. She says it is just holiday blues.

However, I have looked at her emails, and txt messages (wrong I know, but I need to know) and there are messages from 2 different people, one saying she is great, and can think of nothing but her etc etc, and the other saying that he can only think of her, and enjoyed waking up to her looking at the sun rise in her apartment. And that he regrets not arranging to meet up with her the next day.

Now call me paranoid, but I think at least one thing went on. I have asked her, not directly, but she says that noone that went on holiday got up to no good.

We are both in our early 30's, and she has cheated on all of her previous boyfriends, and has slept with loads of guys.

I dunno if I am being super jealous or not. I need advise.

Should I let it be, and trust her to behave, or confront her?

[smaxs]

I think you know the answer. I also suggest you go and have some STD tests done. This woman is clearly incapable of being faithful and you deserve better. You clearly don't value yourself very highly.

[BlueEyedAngel]

Gilroy,

If you don't have trust then you don't have anything. Trust doesn't mean holding back your true feelings and keeping quiet to try and prove you trust her. If you honestly, in your heart, feel apprehensive about trusting her then you don't trust her. Love yourself enough to be true to yourself, because you can't truly love someone else until you do that.

[Harry]

Dump her and tell her why, unless you want a relationship where she sleeps with whoever she wants whenever you are not around.

[kay tidey]

You can the read the full article at: http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/yin-and-yang/Trust-1167.html

As someone who has tested the waters of swinging firstly you both must want to do it, both me and my partner love sex and are very open minded and we trust each other, even though we had this as a good basis to start with there were still probelms along the way, for example it took me a while to be convinced that even though he stated he was convinced that he was ok with it i had never met a guy who actually was, so i took a deep breath and went ahead and i did manage to relax enough and have a good time, although when it came to him performing he could not get an erection. We did set boundaries before hand and always discussed it afterwards, as long as it stays as just sex then we were find but there was some moments when i sensed he was not comfortable when a particular guy was quite affectionate towards me and the sex was quite tender and affectionate. The key things really are to be totally honest with each other and be able to talk about situations if they make you uncomfortable, the worse thing i found was to go along with a situation when i was not totally happy or comfortable with it as i ended up feeling resentful towards my partner for i felt i was doing something just to please him and keep the situation hunky dory. hope that helps if only a little.

Kay x

[Verve]

Normally I'm an optimistic. But you’re out of luck with this one. The whole hen vacate gave her no hope. Ask her straight out though who she f*cked or cuddled with, if you can work past her lack of judgment. It’s your call though in the end if you want it to work.

[Debbie]

You can the read the full article at: http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/yin-and-yang/Trust-1414.html

I am in exactly the same situation. I divorced from my husband of 12 years 7 years ago. I have enjoyed being single but would really love to be in a relationship but i struggle to trust anyone so always keep things casual.
At the end of the day you have to give someone the opportunity to prove you wrong otherwise you will be single forever and not meet anyone.

[Plain=Simple!]

need advise.

Should I let it be, and trust her to behave, or confront her?

she is *SLUT! Always has been / always Will be!
she die soon anyway since has 2-3 STDs!
Only widows can be with more than 1 man EVER!
all others ARE Aduterers! Read your Bible mate.

[MaxtheGaul]

Hey all,

I need some advise. My and my girlfriend were very happy until she went on holiday with a hen party. She has now come back and somehow different. She says it is just holiday blues.

However, I have looked at her emails, and txt messages (wrong I know, but I need to know) and there are messages from 2 different people, one saying she is great, and can think of nothing but her etc etc, and the other saying that he can only think of her, and enjoyed waking up to her looking at the sun rise in her apartment. And that he regrets not arranging to meet up with her the next day.

Now call me paranoid, but I think at least one thing went on. I have asked her, not directly, but she says that noone that went on holiday got up to no good.

We are both in our early 30's, and she has cheated on all of her previous boyfriends, and has slept with loads of guys.

I dunno if I am being super jealous or not. I need advise.

Should I let it be, and trust her to behave, or confront her?

You're not being super jealous, but whether she slept with someone else is not really the issue. The issue is that you don't trust her, and she's probably not being honest with you. Unless you can fix that you have no future together.

If you want to try to fix it you will have to get her to understand that sleeping with someone else may hurt, but lying to you about it will kill the relationship, better a bit of pain and a lot of honesty than the converse.

[mogadishu]

We are both in our early 30's, and she has cheated on all of her previous boyfriends, and has slept with loads of guys.

I dunno if I am being super jealous or not. I need advise.

Should I let it be, and trust her to behave, or confront her?

It doesn't sound like good news. If you confront her you'll obviously be confessing to having spied on her texts. Be prepared for a blow-up if you do.

But do you really want to stay in a relationship where you're being cheated on?

[kungfupanda]

Some things are funny, this guy has got pretty conclusive evidence that his bird cheated on him and some people on here are trying to make him out to be the guilty one for having no trust in her???
Gilroy you yourself will know what to do, if you want to stay with her do so, if you don't want to be used as a doormat then dump her. Lifes too short to be wondering who your b/f or g/f is shagging so just move on and let someone else have the headache.

[MaxtheGaul]

kfp, You're readig different posts to me. I don't see anyone blaming him, just trying to help him see the options that he has.

[kungfupanda]

Wouldn't it be good if we got feedback on posts like this? people ask for advice then can't be bothered to let us know how it went lol

[Royce]

maybe he was trying to open up to you a little.... have you guys said the 4 letter word yet? lol.
maybe this was a hint and him telling you about the dream was his way of feeling around about how you would react.