chav jokes

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xXx.Lesley.xXx
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chav jokes

Postby xXx.Lesley.xXx on Thu Sep 08, 2005 2:11 pm

1. What do you call a Chav in a box?
Innit.

2. What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted

3. What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe.

4. What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
Innuinnit.

5. Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of
stairs.

6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.

7. You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try
not to hit him?
It might be your bike.

8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
What you lookin' at?"

10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.

11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police

12. What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's?
A liar.

13. What do you say to a chav with a job?
Can I have a big mac please

14. What do you say to a chav in a suit?
Will the defendant please stand

15. What do u call a knife in chav-ville?
Exhibit A

16. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?
A Nova seats 4

17. What do you call a 30 year old chavette?
Granny.

18. How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, they'll screw anything.

19. What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?
A start.

20. How many chavs does it take to clean a floor?
None, "That's some uvver bleeders job innit."

21. Why did the chav take a shower?
He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the carwash

22. Why did the Chav cross the road?
To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.

23. What do you call a Chav at college?
The cleaner.

24. A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, "Before we order,
could you settle an argument for us?
Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?"
The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,
"Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."

25. Two chavs jump off beachy head, who wins?
Society
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swee
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Postby swee on Mon Sep 12, 2005 11:27 pm

5, 16 & 25 are my favourites :lol: :lol: :lol:

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y248/sweeswee2003/patentchav.bmp
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y248/sweeswee2003/pregchavs.bmp
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y248/sweeswee2003/fatchav.bmp
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y248/sweeswee2003/drunkchav.bmp
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y248/sweeswee2003/chavsofa.bmp (this is the best) :lol:
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y248/sweeswee2003/chavanddad.bmp
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y248/sweeswee2003/chav.bmp
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y248/sweeswee2003/eminemchav.bmp
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y248/sweeswee2003/chavgroup.bmp

:shock: :shock: :shock:

Now run for your lives before they get you!!!
"Sister, sister, oh so fair why is there blood all over your hair?"

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Emma D on Myspace http://www.myspace.com/queentantrum

jen123
 

Postby jen123 on Tue Sep 13, 2005 12:29 pm

sweesee,where did you get the pics from!!!im sure i know the guy on the left in the drunk chav photo!!!

jen123
 

Postby jen123 on Tue Sep 13, 2005 12:31 pm

:shock: in fact i do!!!!he went to my old school!!!

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swee
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Postby swee on Tue Sep 13, 2005 12:32 pm

PMSL Jen :lol:

www.chavscum.co.uk
"Sister, sister, oh so fair why is there blood all over your hair?"

Queen Tantrum on MySpace http://www.myspace.com/queentantrum
Emma D on Myspace http://www.myspace.com/queentantrum

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Lexanni
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Postby Lexanni on Tue Sep 13, 2005 9:24 pm

sweeswee wrote:
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y248/sweeswee2003/eminemchav.bmp


Needs more retarded white kids throwing watered-down gang signs.[/img]

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swee
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Postby swee on Tue Sep 13, 2005 10:21 pm

:D Hello stranger
"Sister, sister, oh so fair why is there blood all over your hair?"

Queen Tantrum on MySpace http://www.myspace.com/queentantrum
Emma D on Myspace http://www.myspace.com/queentantrum

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Lexanni
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Postby Lexanni on Wed Sep 14, 2005 12:12 am

sweeswee wrote::D Hello stranger


That's Mr. Stranger!

Baz teh goff
 

Postby Baz teh goff on Wed Sep 21, 2005 2:04 am

hear is a stuped chav joke my fav

a chav goes in to a big department store and goes up to the man who sorts new jobs and askes "hi i am looking for job got any how" and the job man says "yes i have just the job for you" the chav looks at him happy and askes what it is. the man decribes the job as a realy great job with a lot of pay and realy cool preks like as much food as he can eat and as much whitelightning as he can drink and all he has to do is follow this realy hot lass around the chav looks at him and says "are you having a laff how" and the job man says "well you started it"

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xXx.Lesley.xXx
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Postby xXx.Lesley.xXx on Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:41 pm

Three guys, a wheelchair bound man, a guy in a neck brace and a chav with a broken arm, are sat in a bar when jesus walks in and sits down. They say to each other "Isn't that Jesus?" and they all agree that it is him. So the wheelchair guy buys Jesus a drink and comes back to the table. The neck brace guy also buys him a drink, so does the Chav. So Jesus finishes his drinks, and goes up to the table. He comes up to the wheelchair guy and says "For your kindness, you are healed." Sure enough, the wheelchair guy gets out of his chair and walks out. He goes to the neck brace guy and says "For YOUR kindness, you are healed." And the neck Brace guy takes it off and strolls out. So he goes up to the chav, and he's about to heal him, when the chav says:

Don't you fookin touch me, I'm on disability! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Student :D

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chav ere watcha gunna do?
 

get a life

Postby chav ere watcha gunna do? on Thu Apr 27, 2006 11:36 am

freakin hell yas say us chavs r sad look at ya selfs sittin ere taking the piss outta us yer sure we need to get a life ok then u buch of t**** :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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xXx.Lesley.xXx
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Re: get a life

Postby xXx.Lesley.xXx on Thu Apr 27, 2006 4:02 pm

chav ere watcha gunna do? wrote:freakin hell yas say us chavs r sad look at ya selfs sittin ere taking the piss outta us yer sure we need to get a life ok then u buch of t**** :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


You are sad. It's been 7 months since this was last posted on. How many pages of topics did you need to go through to find it :lol: :lol: :lol:
Student :D

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Kentish lad
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Postby Kentish lad on Thu Apr 27, 2006 4:08 pm

Love the one that has the pistol down his pants, i know first hand how dangerous that can be! I was fortunate though, mine was only a air pistol though i suspect his 'peice/gat' is only a water pistol :)
You can say what you think, think about what you say, like what you say and dislike what others say but allways remember, who gives a toss what you think in the first place?
Hate me or love me, who cares.

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animallover15
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Postby animallover15 on Thu Apr 27, 2006 7:18 pm

......
Last edited by animallover15 on Sat May 27, 2006 3:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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blue boys bitch
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Postby blue boys bitch on Thu Apr 27, 2006 7:22 pm

Love the last one - unfortunately I work in Chatham which for the medway area is total chavsville. Thankfully I have never had the desire to dress like all the other prats in the area.

Burberry and caps :puke:

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