Please help me to get over my crush?

[Mand]

I know this might sound silly but i have a really strong crush on a woman much older than me, who is married with a grown up son. I know she is straight and i would never try anything on with her because i don`t want to offend her and it isn`t fair on her. I`ve also got more common sense and know full well that she is not interested then if i tried it would come out very badly.

But...i just can`t get her out of my head! When i`m not with her i think about her, fantasize about her, when i`m asleep i dream about her, it makes me feel like a kid again and i know its stupid but i can`t help it.
She is a very good friend and has helped me a lot in recent times, i respect and admire her but she drives me wild!
She knows i`m gay and doesn`t have a problem with it, she even messes about, sitting on my knee and hugging me, saying how "people will talk" and then laughs. I love it when she does it but i know it isn`t helping.
I know she doesn`t take it seriously, but everytime she does it it makes me want her more! If i asked her to stop it she would want to know why and i`m scared if i told her it would destroy our friendship completely.

I can`t avoid her because i work with her 2 nights a week, i need to get her out of my head before it gets even more out of hand!

Any suggestions???

Thanks.

Just like to add that i am completely genuine, i`m a 22yr old mother of 1!

[Mand]

Anyone?

[Guest]

maybe whenever you think about your friend, you can try to put it out of your mind by reading an interesting book or try doing things that don't remind you of her. Maybe even going on a mini vacation; I got over my crush with a little bit of distance.

[HeatherM]

ahhh that is a good one but it has been my experience that when a person plays that there is a bit of curiousity to that. If you are such good friends with her do you think that she would be offended if you told her how you feel? If anything she will know and you will get an answer. If nothing happens at least you have said something but then again you may be surprised. And hey you might just flater her. And sometimes great friendships need that.

[Tiny tina]

If you can take advice from a 15 year old here goes.

Be honest if she is a friend she will still be a friend - I think i would choose a time when you arn't close like sat at a table or something and say something like "you know that im gay - well ive got a bit of a problem - when you sit on my lap it realy makes me fancy you and the last thing i want to do is harm our friendship" that way you've said what you feel and gives her a chance to respond . please let me know if it helps

[Mand]

Thanks guys, sometimes i do feel that she is curious, she doesn`t have as much "physical contact" with any of our other friends, she touches me when she can...only as in putting her hands on my hips if she is walking behind me etc.
Sometimes i really want to tell her because then at least i`m not hiding anything from her. She isn`t the sort who would throw it in my face, or stop speaking to me, but i don`t want to make our friendship awkward.
Obviously once i`ve said it, i can`t take it back.
Tina, just because you are young, it doesn`t make your opinions any less valuable.

Thankyou.

[dosymay]

It sounds to me like she's curious and she's teasing you. Perhaps she's finding it a turn on and fantasising about what could happen between you.

For a 15 year old girl, Tina has given you a good suggestion

[Back2good]

Your situation hits home with me. I am in the same situation but its the other way around.

I am a married older woman with a 14 year old son. My friend is 25, someone I met at work. We've retained our friendship after he left to work for another company. We both work pretty much in the same field and have so much in common.

Anyway, when I first started working there I noticed that he seemed smitten with me. He would come by everyday before work and just talk. Somtimes for the longest time. I really did enjoy his company, and suspectd that he had a crush on me. I also felt the same way but hey I'm married and older... LOL!! So, one night during one of our long conversations and a few glasses of wine (which is not excuse because I would have brought it up anyway) I teased him about it. I didn't think I cornered him but "maybe" I did. He wouldn't admit it, but he also didn't deny it.

So right in the middle of that awkward discussion, his phone went dead. I thought he hung up so I called him back told him "that was cold blooded". Later, I realized after my phone went dead too, that thats probably what happened so I called back and said I was sorry and didn't mean to make him feel uncomfortable.

Well, he called back the next day and left a teasing message. So, when I finally did calle him back, I never addressed it directly because I didn't think it was that big of a deal. So, I kinda joked that he was lucky his phone went dead... he laughed and said "yeah, thank the lord". And that was that...

Fastforward to one going on two weeks later and I havn't heard from him. This isn't like him to stay distant this long, especially after I left a message asking him about a technical problem. He usually calls back. I am worried that I may have offended him but worst, that I lost a friend.

So, I would be very careful about how you approach this. If you value her as a friend and know that she is married the best thing is to leave well enough alone. Because if she does go for it, you would be right in the middle of her having to choose between you and her husband. I say this, because it seems as though she finds you attractive and is having fun. Things could progress and you would be caught in the middle. I've been through an affair, and let me tell you it is very very difficult.

[Back2good]

sorry... forgive me for not reading into this being a same sex forum...

[Mand]

Some interesting ideas here. Thanks guys, i`ve decided to tell her. i`ll let you know what happens!

[Rachel-uk-20]

Hi everyone,

i also have a crush on sumone and am desperate 2 get over him!

He is one of my brothers mates and even though i havent really seen him in a year ive still got feelings for him.

Ive got a boyfriend though, ive been wiv him for nearly 5 years and we have a beautiful 1 year old together. And i feel like a bitch for having these feelings!
nothing has ever physically happened between us cos id never cheat on my boyfriend but we have flirted but its always meant more.
we jus had this connection and really got on well together.
i didnt see him for a while then i fell pregnant, but i saw him when i was pregnant and there was still a connection and he was still flirtin n stuff.
I love my boyfriend and want to be with him so i just want to get over this crush and move on but i dont know how!!

PLEASE HELP ME! IM AT THE END OF MY TETHER!!

[Rachel-uk-20]

please anyone?? PLEASE!!!!

U dont have 2 b right but im goin off my nut!!!