I need some advice.....please

[Jodie23]

Hello to who ever may be reading this. My name is Jodie and I am 24 years old. I am a student nurse (I qualify this year....scary) and I REALLY need advice, so here goes.

I have been with my boyfriend who is 27 for 6 years, 5 of thoses we have lived together, we have two doggies, who I absolutly adore. Last yaer (around this time) we broke up for 4 months, I moved back to my parents he had the house we was in. He met someone, moved her in...all that blau blau (kept the dogs). We broke up because he started wanting to be with his friends all the time, and there is a particular pub him and his mates go to. Its a horrible slutty pub, I used to tell him that I hated him going down there but he never listened to my feelings and just told me to stop nagging. Anyway this caused us to break up and the girl he moved into our house was a barmaid from that particular pub (yes stop nagging Jodie).

Anyway we did not see each other all the time we were apart and I actualy was over him, then we saw each other, I felt cool about it but he started begging and crying for me back so I thought yeah prehaps he means it. so I moved back in with him.

Anyway up until about November its been really good, he payed me loads of attention. I actually really loved him. Now he has started going out with his mates all the time without me (he used to take me everywhere with him, even b4 our spilt up). He spends most of his money and mine in that same pub I hate (the barmaid he was seeing last year has since left there). He does not give a S*** about me when it comes to the weekends. I have spoken to him about it but he just does not seem to take it in or ignores me. Dont get me wrong when he has no money he wants me, he meets me from work and all that. His mates r constantly phoning him and taking him out.

It really hurts and im always crying, he says I can do what I want but he does not really let me when it comes down to it. I really do not know whether to just call it a day with him, he hurts me. He is nearly 28 and has nothing to show for his life, he just seems to want to spend his money and time wuth his friends.

I dont know maybe I am being silly....thats why I need your HELP. Sorry that I have written an essay.

Jodie

[Cherrybuns]

I've been in your situation. I had low self esteem, no confidence because of the way the ex boyfriend treated me. He put his mates before me, I was like a second thought.

We split up and I thought the world was going to end, like you do! It took me a long time to recover especially as he was my first love. This may sound childish but I started to get over him by doing a list of pros and cons and the cons overtook the pros, so thats when I decided he was not go enough for me and I moved on, made new friends go my confidence back and then forgot about him.

This may sound harsh, but ditch him. A good relationship is based on a solid friendship, compromise, trust and honesty amongst others, ask yourself does your relationship have any of these. He seems to want his cake and eat it - single life when it suits him. Could you be with him for the rest of your days, or would you like to be treated like a woman should be by someone else. There are men out there that treat women well trust me on that.

You are only 24 and your life is now begining. Treat this year as yours, you are now going to qualify as registered nurse, make new friends and gain lots of experiences and confidence. In the end you are the only one to make this decision. I count myself lucky that I'm now out of that relationship as I wouldn't be where I am today due to his controlling ways. I wish you well, enjoy life you only have one go at it.

(p.s I hope i didn't sound too much like a old mother hen?!)

[Range]

Get rid of him unless you want to look forward to a cycle of attention - attention - neglect - bitch - fine i'lll give you attention... repeat cycle endlessly.

[andy_yorks]

Dump him

[Pia]

Don't put up with that anymore. Just move on tell him you have enough.

[Bishette]

i agree with range.... step out of the cycle because it won't get any better, he's proved to himself that he can turn on the emotions and you'll come back, so in his mind why shouldn't he carry on just as he pleases, then when he's about to lose you all he has to do is cry and beg and hey presto... back to the beginning