Any Advice For My Shy Daughter?

[Mary Miller]

My daughter is a freshman in High School, when the second half of her curent school year reconviens she will be starting her new gym class.
The gym teacher has a rule that all of the girls have to shower after their gym class everyday. I support that and consider it to be in my daughters best interest to do so.
Most of my daughters friends have told her that they don't have a problem with the idea of showering in the nude in front of each other. My daughter says that she's nervous about the idea of it.
Can anyone give me some advice on how to ease my daughters anxiety over showering in front of her female classmates?

[Guest]

I respectfully disagree.

[Amanda Tyler]

Obviously it's in her best interests to shower after her gym classes, that's not even debatable.

It's a shame that she feels shy about it, but theres no real reason for her to be.

I would just let her know that it's a part of growing up and being a mature and responsible young woman to do things that are in her best interests.

Not showering after she gets all sweaty in gym class could cause skin problems, maybe even contribute to a yeast infection. Also, not showering will lead to body odor which may lead to far, far greater embarrassment than showering with her female peers ever would.

Unfortunately too many people these days are not able to realize that nudity does not equal sex. Schools used to always require showers to be taken after gym classes and students and parents never gave it a second thought. It was just understood that it was important to do so, and everyone knew that there wasn't anything sexual about it.
One of the best gifts that any mother could give her daughter is to have confidence in her in all ways including to not feel shame or embarrassment over her body. That does not mean that they should be taught not to still have some modesty around the opposite sex, however in a innocent setting like a girls locker room they should not feel embarrassed by their nudity.

If mothers take their daughters swimming at a Y or other public pool the mothers should not teach their daughters to hide in a corner or in a toilet stall to change clothes, that would teach them to think that there's something shamefull about their bodies. Using a communal shower room in a women's locker room with your daughter could help her to adjust to showering at school. If she sees that her mother is not afraid to shower in front of other women she will see that it's a completely normal thing. In turn it may also help her in the future in a women's college dorm or locker room, and even if she would ever join the military as well.

After a couple of showers she will get over the shyness, I promise.

[opalfruit]

I absolutely 'hated' having to shower at school and still believe that cubicles should be private. Making a kid of school age strip off in front of other kids to me is disresepctful and vile.

Theres so many dynamics and insecurities at that age. I remember having ro shower in front of girls that at the time were bullying me - F****** awful experience. Not to mention general body image, menstruation...................

Personally, id bring my children up 'not' to be ashamed of thier bodies and to be confident, however, no child of mine would be group showering 'if' they didnt want to.

[opalfruit]

I absolutely 'hated' having to shower at school and still believe that cubicles should be private. Making a kid of school age strip off in front of other kids to me is disresepctful.

Theres so many dynamics and insecurities at that age. I remember having ro shower in front of girls that at the time were bullying me - F****** awful experience. Not to mention general body image, menstruation...................

Personally, id bring my children up 'not' to be ashamed of thier bodies and to be confident, however, no child of mine would be group showering 'if' they didnt want to.

[Mary Tomlinson]

I showered after gym class from grades 7 through 12 and it certainly never embarrassed me, and from what i could tell it didn't seem to bother any of the other girls in my gym classes either.

I agree with the woman who said that you get used to it right away.
On my first day of seventh grade we were informed that we would have to shower after our gym classes. I remember that when we first heard that we all kind of looked around the room at each other in shock. Later that night I told my mother that we were going to have to shower nude in front of each other in my gym classes. She basically said something like "well of course you do, everybody does, I did when I was in school and it's no big deal."

From what I recall the first day that we started the gym class which was the second day of the school year we all were as fast as we could be to get dressed again after our showers. The second day it was much easier. And by Friday no-one even bothered covering up with towells, and we would take our good old time getting dressed because no-one cared about the nudity anymore. If a schools locker room has private showers with stalls that's great, but even if it doesn't I still don't see anything wrong with requiring students to shower! I agree, I don't think your daughter will be so shy after a while?

[Alicia B]

At the time that I was in school I hated having to shower with the other girls. But looking back on it now as an adult I understand why we had to and I can say that I'm glad that we did.

As an adult you can understand why it's important and you realize it wasn't that bad after all. Also it's not like any of the girls were watching you or anything like that. On that note however I have to ask was my gym teacher the only one who WOULD WATCH the girls shower, or was that comon practice? I have girlfriends who have said that even though they had to shower that at least their teacher would be busy doing other things and didn't watch. With my teacher she would stand there the whole time every day and watch us as we showered. I still remember the way she ended each class by yelling "hit the showers ladies."

[opalfruit]

why shouldnt a child be given the same respect as an adult. an adult wouldnt be 'expected' to stand naked in front of others - why should a child not be afforded privacy should they wish it? and just out of interest does anyone know why school showers are not cubicled?

[Guest]

Fortunately they don't make children shower at school, it's usually only teens that have to shower in gym class. I guess they probably figure by the time your in your teens you should have the maturity to be able to view the same as a responsible adult?

I think that schoold have communal shower rooms so the teachers can keep an eye on the students? I don't mean that in a creapy way either, just that they need to know that the students aren't doing drugs or something along those lines?

From my understanding colleges are usually stricter about students showering after their gym and sports classes than high schools are, and those are usually communal shower rooms also.

The health club that I am a member at requires you to shower in the nude with soap before you are allowed into the pool or hot tubs. And they do have a female employe check every now and then to make sure that people are actually showering before they go for a swim. And yeah they will say something to you about it if they see that your showering in your bathing suit because they say there's no way that you are getting a thourow shower in a bathing suit. If she sees that your showering in a bathing suit and then you start heading for the pool she will tell you that you have to go back and shower nude or your not allowed to swim. It's obvious that the female employes themselves are embarrassed by having to tell you that, and they are polite about how they say it, but they do tell you that it's a club rule and that they have to inforce it.

[Guest]

there are few things worse than having to sit near someone that doesn't shower after gym class. Male or female, that's just gross. If she wants to be ostracised by her friends and peers, tell her to mind her modesty. If she wants to go through the rest of her day clean, confident, and socially included, she has to shower! If not for hygiene, for comfort. A clean body is much more comfortable than a sweaty stinky one!

Tell her to suck it up and bathe!

[Mary Miller]

Thank you to those of you who gave me advice!

I pointed out a few of the suggestions that were made.

Sarah started that gym class a couple of days ago, and I'm happy to say that she said that it wasn't as embarrassing as she thought it would be.

She said that she knows that no one was staring at anyone else and that all of the girls just make eye contact when they were speaking to one another in the showers.

Now I hope my younger daughter will adjust to it as easilly in a couple of years!

Thanks again for the advice.

[opalfruit]

glad its sorted and she feels ok

[Guest]

Thank you opalfruit!
I'm glad that my dear daughter is adjusting to it well.
And I'm sorry to hear that gym was a bad experience for you!

[animallover15]

I'm glad your daughter is ok with it but I really do not see why they are forced to shower in communal showers...It seems to infringe on their right to some level of privacy and I for one, would not do it!!

[Katie Lansing]

Mary Miller,

I'm also glad to hear that your daughter is ok with the shower thing after all.

No offense to your daughter or anyone else, but I don't see what the problem is with showering after P.E. class?

I'm currious as to how old any of you ladies who think that it's so wrong to expect young women (or men) to shower after they have gotten all sweaty and smelly?

Like a couple of the other ladies said in their posts years ago it was not viewed as being out of the ordinary to shower in middle school and high school. Of course I didn't poll any of the girls in my P.E. classes, but I don't remember anyone complaining about it at the time.

Maybe I'm way off on this but I have never heard any horror stories of how anyone has ever been scared for life because they showered after P.E. There were a few girls in my P.E classes that I did not get along with, but I didn't dislike or like them any more just because we were nude in the locker room, being nude was no different than being dressed we didn't like each other period!

I just wonder if it's some sort of generational thing? I'm in my late 30's, and it wasn't a problem for my generation.

I appologize if I'm coming off as being nasty, that's not my intention! I just fail to see what's so bad about showering in front of members of the same sex